The Parent
Hello everyone! My name is Kayla and I am the parent of a 19-year-old daughter named Megan. Megan is a freshman at the U of M and started to drink in high school. I was unaware of her drinking until her senior year when she came and told me that either she was going to the party and driving home intoxicated or she’d spend the night. I of course told her to spend the night but was always worried that she’d do something she’d regret; maybe even get pregnant. Alcohol just has this way of interfering with good thinking that it’s normal for me to be a concerned parent. When I was growing up the drinking age was 18. However, when my friends and I went out we wouldn’t worry whether one of us would end up in the ER having our stomachs pumped or if we were going to crash into a car on the road. For some reason, throughout these past 10-15 years drinking has gone to the extreme. Kids don’t realize the dangers of drinking until it’s too late. The binge drinking that is killing kids is outrageous but there’s nothing we can really do to stop it. I think that if the drinking age would be lowered back to 18, more harm than good would be done to our society. Alcohol consumption has a whole new look, it’s not just to socially drink but it’s merely to see who can become belligerent.
Comments
Hello Mrs. Brenner, I don't know if you have checked the blog lately, or seen my latest article. Anyway, do you think that when you were young- not so long ago-that you and your friends didn't drink so heavily because alcohol was not such a forbidden fruit as it is now. I understand that some kids will make bad descisions, but for the most part aren't our children to make those decisions for themselves?
Posted by: Dain Haukos | November 14, 2006 07:20 PM
I understand your concerns about drinking and that affecting your daughter. However, if the drinking age was moved to 18, don't you think more children would not have to lie to their parents about where they are and what they are doing?
Don't you think you would be more comfortable knowing your child was drinking than having to find out when she makes a bad decision. You would have the chance to give her some last minure advice that could stop her from doing something she may regret. Also, don't you think to many underage kids are exposed to alcohal during college when their parents are not around and if the drinking age was moved to 18, they would learn to be more responsible while drinking since they still live with their parents?
Posted by: Parag Shah | November 15, 2006 01:01 AM
Thank you Mrs. Brenner, I appreciate you taking the time to fill me in on your views. The article I was speaking about was the one by Olivia. Also, I believe that the superstud has a link that is posted directly to the website where the actual story is located. Also, Mrs. Brenner, I do have a few more question to ask you. You say teenagers don't realize the dangers of drinking now, but from your biography it apperently seems that you and your friends did, what has changed from now until then?Would lowering the drinking age possibly open up the lines of communication between parents and their children at a younger age on issuses concerning drinking and making good descisions? Also, where did you find that fact about lowering the drinking age caused a reduction in the amount of accidents? It sounds like there could be a wealth of information there that would help me decide how to vote.
Sincerely, Senator Haukos
Posted by: Dain Haukos | November 15, 2006 04:31 PM
Hi Mrs. Brenner,
We ARE responsible adults and know our consequences. As for those that come to Prom or Homecoming and Graduation drunk, that's their immaturity showing. Just because they aren't responsible, it doesn't mean that we should be punished for it. There'll be consequences for those that decide to ruin such a huge event because of their stupidity. I know you just care about us girls and I appreciate it, but things would be so much easier and fair if it were lowered to the age of 18. Thank you for at least trusting us though. We know you just care about us, but we just want to have fun and not worry about getting in trouble for it.
Posted by: Tina Chen | November 15, 2006 09:01 PM
Thank you Mrs. Brenner, I appreciate your taking the time to look for that article, I will certainly look into it.
Posted by: Dain Haukos | November 16, 2006 06:38 PM
I think you are right, some kids still would lie about drinking even if the legal age was lowered to 18. However, I believe many kids or a descent percentage of kids would let their parents know, especially since a lot of their parents drink. Also, if the legal age was lowered, kids would be able to drink at home with their parents. I know a lot of parents who let their kids drink a beer with them and they actually learn more responsibility that way because when they get to college it is not a new experience to them and therefore not a big deal. If the drinking age was lowered today, I don’t think we would see immediate changes, however, over some time I believe kids will become more responsible and start a culture more like Europe where drinking is not as big of a deal.
You brought up the point of how alcohol is bad for you. I agree with what you said, however, in moderate amounts it does not effect your body very much. Just like soda, it rots your teeth but in moderate amounts it will not do much damage. Also, that point is very irrelevant in this country because I believe smoking has more negative affects than alcohol does and smoking is legal at 18.
You are also right about the child having to deal with his or her consequences, but is it not our job to limit the bad choices he or she will make?
Posted by: Parag Shah | November 16, 2006 11:06 PM
Dear Ms. Brenner,
I totally AGREE with you that there are some teenagers out there today that don't necessarily drink for the social aspect, but just to get as totally wasted as they can. HOWEVER, those are just a select few out of the bunch, and I don't think that all teenagers that drink can fall under that category. There are so many responsible teenagers out there that know there limits, and they know enough is enough when they start to feel it. Also, there are people that hang out with these kids that DON'T drink, and as a result look over there friends to make sure nothing happens.
My heart goes out to the President and the loss of his daughter, but it is a shame that it was a drunk driver that caused this accident. It is publicity like this that causes us underage drinkers to get so many negative views. I feel that the real reason that teenagers go out and drink to get wasted is because they don't feel that they are accepted by the public and feel the need to "rage" against the law. But there are teenagers out there, like me and my friends, that have developed a knowledge of how to go about drinking. We are the responsible ones, and we make sure that no one goes out driving when they've been to my parties, and no one has any more alcohol after they have reached their social maximum. I don't feel that it is fair that just because there is so much negative publicity out there against underage drinking and the lowering of the drinking age, that us RESPONSIBLE teenagers should be punished. If the U.S. were to entrust us with the responsibility to drink at the age of 18 again, YES there would be underage drinking still, BUT they will feel more responsible and will have nothing to "rage" against anymore. As a result there will be less tragic instances of teenagers and alcohol.
Thank you for your time,
Mike Vacanti
All-American Stud
Posted by: Justin Hasbrouck | November 17, 2006 11:59 AM
Hello Concerned Parent,
I am a journalist from your local branch of FOX News and have been watching the Drinking Age debate very closely. I've noticed that your voice has become a prominent one in this issue. Besides being the mother of a minor, what other influences have given your voice such fire in this debate?
I am doing a feature peice on "voices from the community" and would be interested in hearing more about your story. Any information you have time to share would be greatly appreciated.
Sincerely,
Olivia Borges-Nunez
Posted by: Olivia Borges-Nunez | November 21, 2006 12:37 PM
Dear Mrs. Brenner,
Thank you for expressing your support for my stance on keeping the legal drinking age at 21. It's always nice to know you're not alone, and I would be happy to answer some of your questions. The main reason that drinking is so much worse for someone under the age of 21 is that the brain continues to develop into a person's early twenties. Exposure to alcohol during the brain's development is quite harmful and can have irreversible effects on the intellectual capabilities of the individual consuming the alcohol. Although drinking excessively at any age is harmful, it is especially harmful to young people, not only because it causes more damage to the brain than it does at an older age, but also because it forms bad habits that continue into old age that could cause further health problems.
Thank you again for your interest,
Dr. Deale
Posted by: Debra Krein | November 27, 2006 05:34 PM
Mrs. Brenner,
I am terribly sorry to hear of your loss, it is a terrible thing when people make mistakes that affect others lives in such a drastic manner. It is for families such as your own that I feel we as a society need a drinking age reform. I know with all the hurt you are feeling that you think we should lock the alcohol up from teens until they turn 21 and then things will be better. I am sorry to tell you but the teens have found the key to that safe. This is the problem that I see with the current system, currently alcohol tends to be a very hush hush subject for parents with their teens. It is illegal and it is assumed that alcohol should not be consumed. This is where I begin to have a problem with the system. As I'm sure you know, kids always want what they cannot have whether that be a toy or another cookie at supper time. Right now teens can't have alcohol, so they simply find ways to get it so their parents won't find out about it. Once they get this alcohol, who to you think is teaching them about it? Their friends!!! You know and I know that teens don't always give one another good advice, parents for the most part do tend to give good advice. It is for this reason I feel that the drinking age needs to be lowered. If the drinking age is at 18, many of the teens affected by this bill will still be at home and will be able to easily and openly talk about alcohol and its safe consumption without the fear of getting in trouble. Who knows, if Mike Vacanti had been taught by his parents to not drink and drive, your sister could very well still be with us today. In response to your other question, no, I am not a parent myself, I do however plan on having kids. If I am fortunate enough to have children I do plan on letting them drink. They will first be able to drink under my eye and they will know the consequences of abusing alcohol. They will know that drinking and driving is absolutley not acceptable and entirely dangerous. This is the manner that my parents dealt with me when I was a teen, and I swear to you I never got behind the wheel after consuming even just one beer. Mrs. Brenner I can tell that you are obviously a concerned parent, and this bill will help you to speak with your child more openly about the dangers of alcohol, it is not meant to open the bars to our children.
Thank you for your time,
Senator Haukos
Posted by: Senator Haukos | November 27, 2006 08:26 PM
Mrs. Brenner,
It is legal in Minnesota for children to drink with their parents, but only in their own residence. The parents cannot take out their kids in public. Because of this, the teens never really get to see how alcohol can be consumed in a responsible manner in a social situation. Like you said, if a person realistically wants to get alcohol, they can get it. Just like realistically we will not be able to catch every person that drinks and drives. However, just because there will always be a few bad apples doesn't mean that we should shy away from the issue. I do not feel that our current system is working and I feel that there needs to be a change. Currently I think that lowering the drinking age is the best option, if you can think of any better options I would be happy to discuss those issues with you.
Thank you, Senator Haukos
Posted by: Dain Haukos | November 28, 2006 10:18 AM
I have never lost anyone from alcohol accidents, and I'm very sorry to hear about yours, I just feel that there are too many irresponsible students out there that would take advantage of being able to drink at such a young age. Think about how many students would go to high school hung over or go to prom drunk! 18-year-olds have just become legal adults where as 21-year-olds have had three years of life experience! I don't think students that are 18 can handle al the responsibility at once.
Posted by: Jessica | November 29, 2006 01:25 PM
I feel for your loss Ms. Brenner. My heart goes out to you and your family. However, it was not me that killed your sister. I don't understand why you would pin such a major event on me. I have never driven drunk in my life. It's people like you that keep us teenagers from being looked upon as the responsible and mature people that we are. There is always negative publicity out there. There is never any positive publicity, BECAUSE it is illegal. So, that is why people like you need to stop your immature stunts and grow up.
Posted by: Mike Vacanti | November 29, 2006 03:02 PM
Dear Mrs. Brenner,
Due to techical difficulties my press release wasn't released, but I hope you will take a look and decide for yourself what the best course of action would be; to lower the drinking age based on unsupported beliefs of a Senator and the Owner of a well-known beer company? Or to raise the drinking age to protect our children and keep alcohol out of their unsupervised environments until they've matured both mentally and neurologically?
Thank you
Senator Victor Eremita
Posted by: Sen. Victor Eremita | November 30, 2006 07:39 PM
Alright Ms. Brenner. Here is what I don't understand. Why are people supposed to believe me and not believe you? It doesn't make much sense. Just because I am a high school student and a parent accuses me of killing her sister, does that mean that she is a credible source of this information. I mean seriously, don't you think that it would be more believable if it came from a police officer or someone of higher authority. And confronting me saying that it was a lie about your uncle. Your just mad because I found a true source about an accident. All you did was make up some crazy story to make me look bad and win the drinking age case. You know, you always talk about growing up and being mature. Well, maybe you're the one who needs to be mature about things and think about what you are doing! Who are we supposed to ask about the accident? We can't ask an officer because there was no report. All we have is a parent struggling to win a drinking age case.
Have a good day Ms. Brenner, and I'll see you later. WHEN THE BILL GETS PASSED!!!
Yours truly,
Mike Vacanti
All-American Stud
Posted by: Mike Vacanti | November 30, 2006 09:54 PM
You should probably look under the comments of the Breaking News category again.
Have a good day. :)
Posted by: Mike Vacanti | November 30, 2006 10:02 PM