Analyzing: "Kansas jail escapee surrenders at Walmart in Nebraska; 2 other inmates remain at large" by John Hanna, AP
This is a national news story covering the ongoing situation in Kansas after four men escaped from prison.
The lede is strong, giving the who, what, where, when, and how of the story. The second sentence provides additional background on others that were involved, and what occurred.
The second paragraph outlines authorities response to the escape but does not provide information on what they are doing to find the remaining men who are at large. This would be a primary concern of those in the local area of the story but because it is a national story it does not require those details at the front of the story.
The story falls flat after the first two paragraphs. There is really no strong direction that it goes in until a few paragraphs down. A better outline of the ideas would have been beneficial to promote reader interest in the story and to draw them to keep reading.
After that slump the story picks up with how the men escaped and what they did after they escaped. It then details how one of the men turned himself in at a Walmart in Nebraska. I feel that because the headline is describing this part of the story, moving this section closer to the top of the story would better cater to reader interest.
Overall the story hits on all the key aspects that readers could be interested in. A better plan before writing would make this a stronger story throughout.
Leave a comment