What is it like to listen to the stories that are shared in a learning circle?
Saturday, January 20, 2007 was the beginning of what I hope will be a powerful journey for me. This was the second time in my life that I had the opportunity to participate in a learning circle. The first time was several years ago in a Social Work class where learning circles were not the focal point, but just one component of many tools that were used in the learning process. However, my experience in that class was just as powerful as my experience in CI 5900 on the first day of class.
I am a person who loves learning and growing. As such, I am an avid reader of all kinds of materials. However, I have found that I learn and enjoy learning more when I can actually participate in the experience. My mother used to always say that experience is the best teacher. I know that is very true as nothing in life worth learning can be taught, but must be experienced and felt. So being there and hearing the stories of others experiences was for me liberating. Just to know that other people are also having some of the same frustrations that I have in terms of this generation being so selfish and focused so much on themselves that they don’t want to get involved to help others unless they benefit in some way. Yeah, it’s true that many young people come together in times of natural disaster, and some even do community service volunteering as a way to bolster their resumes for college entry, but very few are involved in a cause that they committed to and are passionate about.
I have always lived in the inner city, so I had no clue that suburban living had reached such a feverish competitive pitch. No wonder our children are not passionate about anything, as they are just too consumed with being the best at sports, having the most material possessions, and being the envy of their peers because they had the best party. I know that sounds superficial but it seems that’s what this world has come to, superficiality instead of Spirituality and that is depressing. People are dying all around the world because they lack so many of the things that we take for granted, and here we are so focused on being the best, being the first, and being the only. . .
As someone who is very shy, I find it very difficult at times to do public speaking, and particularly in a classroom setting where I am usually the oldest person or the only African American person in class. Because of the way our society is set up, my experiences are so different from my fellow classmates and instructors, which many times keep me from expressing my opinions as my life experiences are usually diametrically opposed to my classmates instructors, etc. So rather than sharing in class I find it easier to just listen without making any comments, pro or con. In the past when I have ventured out into sharing, I have been rudely awakened by the vehemence of disagreement with my comments. At one point I had to tell an individual that I was not asking for their permission to be who I am. Nor was I seeking validation of my experience, which in no way would change because their experience was not the same.
As a result I have concentrated on developing my listening skills and suppressed my desire to speak. However, so many times during our first learning circle, I wanted to interrupt the person who was speaking just to agree with them and say, “I can relate to that.� All during the session I found myself chomping at the bit to share my own experiences that were very similar. It’s as though the circle awakened in me a desire to share, which is not present in other settings. So this for me is a breakthrough. So much so until I want to share with others, who like me may feel left out of the education process for whatever reason. With each person who spoke during the circle, I felt a connection and learned so much from what they shared. For me that was AWESOME!
Thank you for your first blog post, Rosalyn. I, too, like to experience learning through participation that helps me to feel that what I have learned is mine, has become a part of me, IS me.
I was struck by your contrasting images of social settings that give rise to very different outcomes in how we relate to others. You vividly describe your experience of being set apart from others in situations that elevate each other’s differences to extreme levels and the opposite kind of situation in which you reported a breakthrough in wanting to interrupt others to say how much you can relate to their experience even though there are differences. Thank for sharing your variety of experiences. I look forward to your further reflections.
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