Greetings.
Since last Saturday I must confess that there have been many times I have wondered whether this class was going to be right for me and if I should continue. Closeness, open-mindedness, acceptance, myself, trust, perspective, spirituality, and other roads less traveled are difficult and fearful; to be sure, learning circles appear to provide a safe, albeit, unfamiliar environment for me to continue on my journey. Another part of my hesitation was whether (and how) I would be able to use my experiences in learning circles and my newly acquired knowledge in my classroom the next day.

As I write, I have suddenly become of aware that perhaps some sort of connection has occurred already...a new awareness for me. At school, we begin each day with a gathering time in the front of the room. This effort is an attempt to build a sense of community, an atmosphere of cooperation, and one of risk taking and intellectual playfulness. We play trust games, model respect, experience tolerance, chat and share, talk of death and war, of new baby siblings and birthday parties.

For me as an learner this engagement it is the most important time of the day, but unfortunately one that does not fit neatly into any scope and sequence learning chart, one that is not measured by any standardized test, nor is it one mandated by the local school board. But if learning could ever be felt in the heart, experienced as oneness, it is during our morning meetings.

My new awareness is this: a few little boys and girls are often reluctant to participate and I wonder if our morning meetings might be an unfamiliar environment for them to explore their adaptive challenges.

Often they seem to hide as if to say, “If you really knew me, you would know that….� Their spirits seem exhausted. Their mannerism exercise caution and uncertainty. Indeed, a new sense of empathy is emerging for me because I now know a little bit more of how they may feel and I am eager for more to be revealed.

And I know more will be revealed to me because I have decided to continue with my Saturday morning class. My experience on Saturday reminded me of something that I had tucked away for a long time. I thought it was under lock and key, but I guess not. Ever since I was a kid, I have always wanted to belong. I’ve never had a sense of belonging; I’ve never felt a “part of� before. I can remember seeing the other kids playing kickball across the street and wishing I could be there with them, and at the same time wanting to take the kickball away from them because I wasn’t invited to play. Or hiding on stage before school started, waiting for the bell to ring because I had nobody to talk with by my locker. It seems I often long for a sense of belonging and a desire to be a “part of a we.� I did feel a sense of belonging on Saturday, like I mattered when people were sharing and when I was listening to them.

And between then and now, somewhere, I found the courage to show up. Like the woman in that movie (of whom I shall never forget) and the others I have met in the class, I am inspired to show up for the long haul.