Rosalyn's ramblings and random thoughts
Brad:
Thank you so much for your comments on my thoughts on the readings. I agree with you totally. I have included your comments here so everyone can read them. I tried to approve them through the system, but I’m not too sure if it worked so here goes
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Hey Rosalyn!!
I just died when I read your latest posting, esp. the last paragraph. I have a saying that probably every kid I have taught can recite by memory: "We need to practice what's said inside these four walls, outside these four walls!" I heard it at my church and have been stealing it ever since!!!! It usually takes 2 months before that concept...the accountability concept clicks with them. For example...we might be discussing kindness during morning meeting...after we are done and need to line up at the door, the mad dash to the door is accompanied with everything but kindness. So then we immediately sit back down, and I give them my "What the heck did we just talk about? and why?" speech. Now let's try it again and this time you show me what kindness looks like and let's hear what kindness sounds like. After a discussion about please and thank you, it usually takes several weeks for it to be second-nature for them. But, they do eventually catch on and carry "it" on "outside these four walls," and when they do, it is truly awesome.
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Anyway, as someone who has been involved with children my whole life (it seems), I know from personal experience that children learn what they live. And, as you said Brad, it takes a considerable amount of time to actually learn a principle before it becomes second nature. The reason I had so many questions about whether or not people do outside the circles what they learn in the circles is because adolescents/adults tend to get distracted by society once the circle is over and forget what they’ve learned. At least that has been my experience in working with individuals behind the walls (in prison). I have found that no matter how long you work with them, and no matter how long you share information with them and no matter how many promises they make to keep and use that information, as soon as they get out, they forget everything they’ve learned and forget all the promises they’ve made.
Every young man or young woman that I have ever corresponded with and worked to encouragein some small way while they are in prison has sworn on all that is Holy to keep in touch with me and update me on their progress or lack thereof after their release. However, once they get out, 98% of them call once and let me know they are out and then I never hear from them again. Another 1% may call a second time if they think I can assist them in some way, and the other 1% get out and I never hear from them at all. This leaves me wondering if all the promises to change they’ve made to me and to themselves will have any impact on their behavior and the choices that they make. For some I am hopeful, but for others it’s doubtful, as they are easily influenced by what is going on around them, and succumb to the pressures of life and environment and end up back in prison. That has happened more time than I would like to mention; some go back to jail/prison because of their choices (with new charges) and others because the parole system is designed for them to fail and to keep them recycling back to prison. Some write and let me know, others I find out about through the grapevine or by checking up on them through the state Department of Corrections (DOC) or the Federal Bureau of Prison (BOP) systems. For those who are Lifer's (will spend the rest of their natural lives in prison) the impact of change is much longer lasting, as they have to be focused to maintain their sanity.
Learning circles are empowering and the impact they have when used outside of the circle, to use Brad’s phrase: “. . . is truly awesome.� I just wanted to encourage everyone to become a prisoner of hope and never give up. Keep doing what you are doing to try to make a difference, because it is having a truly awesome impact. I just which we could see more of postive impact that we have.
Finally, I know that I have reached my limit and that I may be charged a fee for every word that goes over the limit, but I have to say THANK YOU to everyone for being so trusting and sharing a very personal part of your past life and your hope for the future, during the learning circle this past Saturday, February 17, 2007, which focused on HOPE!!!!!
Comments
Rosalyn,
Your examples point to how different social environments call or shape people to be and act differently in them. In some we feel good about who we are, as if we are able to be our "best self," but some environments bring up more troublesome feelings about ourselves. Social environments sometimes cast us into molds, even if they becomes molds we want to break out of.
It is hard to change ourselves. Willpower is often not enough to change the self inside. Brad creates an environment in his classroom that helps his students to change themselves outside of the classroom. His example stimulates us to ask what is needed for adults? What kind of social environment is necessary to help us break out of our confining molds? What is needed to help free ourselves from the molding pressure of the social environments that we hope to change?
Posted by: Lynn Englund | March 2, 2007 10:01 AM