I'd just like to take the opportunity to again thank everyone who participated in my "Life (renewing) Circle". I also would like to thank Lynn for her gracious hospitality and for making us all feel comfortable enough to bare our souls.
Finally, I would like to try to answer the question that Lynn asked which I have posted here so that the answer I give will make some semblance of sense: Comments:
Rosalyn, I appreciate your ability to see Bion's ideas in the groups that we are in every day. I was struck by your comment that in a fight/flight group casualties are to be expected (and accepted as inevitable). Your reflections on the relationship of the individual to the self and our ability to withstand being alone stood out for me. I am interested in your ideas about whether learning circles can help individuals create greater abilities to withstand being alone and develop a relationship to the self that does not need others in such a dependent way?
Yes, I believe that Life Circles can help in a small way, because it gives an individual the sense of belonging and camaraderie without the feeling of being an interloper. However, I believe the most important ingredient in being able to be alone without being lonely and dependent upon others is that a person must learn how to develop a love relationship with him/herself. Without getting too deep let me explain it this way: real love is a Spiritual covenant relationship which most people confuse with a physical or emotional relationship. God has put within the human Spirit the desire/need for love. But, His intent was that we would get those needs met through our relationship with Him first, and then with those individuals that we have entered into a Spiritual covenant relationship with, in which He will bind them together heart to heart, spirit to spirit and soul to soul. The reason why so many people are unable to love themselves is because they don't have a relationship with God. They forfeit their relationship with God and try to substitute it with a relationship with another person. But just like trying to bake a cake without following the directions and using the appropriate ingredients, the result will be less than desirable. The same is true of love. Without God, who is love, there can be no love for self or no one else. That is why so many people are in failing marriages - they substituted their relationship with God for a relationship with a man or woman who has no more ability than anyone else to meet their own needs, let alone someone else’s need for love.. Far too many people are in relationships (which means they are not alone), but so many of them are still lonely because they didn't follow the directions in the (Bible) nor did they use the right ingredients.
