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March 24, 2007

Love vs. Lust

Throughout history, views or opinions on love and lust change. For instance, were we to travel back to the time and age of Pride & Prejudice's England, love was triggered by beauty and encouraged by a 'proper' personality and behavior. And don't forget: an imperfect family was cause for dismissal or the ending of an engagement. Nowadays, it seems as if the family doesn't matter as much. Focus has turned from the community and family to the individual. When a person courts another, it is what that individual is, says, does that matters. I, for one, would be quite upset if a person I had been seeing dumped me because my family isn't perfect or because my friends aren't perfect. Although, I did date a monster once who tried to break up with me because of my friends. Of course, your friends are not you and vice versa. The monster did not seem to have (too many) problems with my character at the time, but was not impressed with my friends' behavior. One could argue that it is our friends that are our character, but I move to disagree. I believe that it is friends that bring out the best (or worst) in us and allow us to be ourselves, or more refreshingly, someone else for a change. Lust in modern times, is based on beauty or sex appeal, but love is said to be based on personality and personal preferences. Although we have come a long way from victorian England, society doesn't seem to have changed much. An individual is notices based on beauty or sex appeal and if their personality fits, they are 'meant to be.' However, what about the times where a someone's personality overrides their 'imperfect' beauty? I have been told before as well that my personality makes up for my lack of sex appeal or natural beauty. To those people: fuck you. Back to the original ponderance, I think that standards or normative love vs. lust haven't changed much. Thoughts?


Guilty Pleasure:

March 23, 2007

Update: Purity Balls

I had said before in another post, many fathers stand together and read aloud the 'pledge' to help aid their daughters in the areas of 'purity.' It is an actual contract. When they are done reading aloud like there is a room full of 2nd grade dads, they sign it and date it and then it is just shoved towards the girls where they sign it and date it too. Its a fucking virginity contract. Ugh, it just makes me sick. By the way, check out the site, now they have actual video.

*sigh*

March 20, 2007

Fuck the Man

While browsing Feministing this morning, I came across a post by Jessica who linked an article from The Harvard Crimson. The article was "No Need to 'Fuck the Man'" written by Justine Lescroart. She also wrote the article "Beyond a Women's Center". Both of these articles illustrate the beginnings of a feminist attitude, however, some of her sentiments and statements fall a little short. Within "No Need to 'Fuck the Man,'" she discusses an invitation she recieved to a 'Fuck the Man' party hosted by feminists. The invitation states that it is not an anti-male slogan and that 'the Man,' as the author clarifies, is simply a group or individual who had power and oppresses others through that power. What upset me was the authors statement:

Of course, a slogan is just a slogan, but it does represent something about certain aspects of modern feminism that doesn’t quite sit well. After all, in portraying a feminist party as opposed to “the Man,” the slogan, like many strands of feminism, seemed to promote a sense women’s “otherness”—a feel-good approach to feminism that ultimately hurts women more than it helps us.
I don't quite understand how the understanding of the 'otherness' of women is harmful. I have studied Simone de Beauvoir's work and her views on the woman as the 'inessential' or the 'other.' By recognizing the 'otherness' and oppression of half of the population, one can begin to move forward and try to change the the societal norms. Through simple recognition of difference and the treatment of 'others', change can be made or seen possible. Moving forward in the article, Justine states:
...many women accept secondary, passive roles all the time, asking a man to decide things for her, to fix things for her, to tell her who she is. Doing so is often easy because it relieves a woman of the otherwise inevitable weight of making wrong decisions, of not fixing things, of not always being sure of who she is or what she believes in. While that was understandable a hundred years ago (and still is in many less developed parts of the world), modern women have little excuse. We voice awareness of male-female equality, but nonetheless act in ways that perpetuate the conception of a man as “the norm” and a woman as an aberration.
There are two parts to this statement. The first that I want to take issue with is that she suggests that women 'inevitably' make wrong decisions without the help of a man. I surely hope that that isn't the way she meant that statement. I also do not quite understand why she added the unnecessary '(and still is in many less developed parts of the world).' Oppression and 'otherness' as the societal norm is not strictly in 'less developed' countries. It is present in many of the more powerful countries as well.

In the second article I mention that Justine wrote, she proposes that Harvard ought to hire a woman president. Although I agree wholeheartedly that it is time for more women leaders, I do not with some of her supporting arguments. Most specifically,

Candidates for any job should always be considered as individuals, and to deny that a person’s sex is a central part of who he or she is would be blatantly false. A 2005 study in the journal Social Behavior & Personality found “a gender bias in hiring and firing decisions…at the final-choice stage.” In today’s gender-conscious world, intentionally or not, an applicant’s gender will be a factor in the hiring process. Why not admit this—and admit that the sex of our president is going to have some obvious side effects?
I do not support using sex or gender as a means to hire someone. Rather than using discrimination in a reverse fashion, why not target those who believe discriminatory behavior is okay? Or, why not try to educate persons of proper behavior during a hiring process? I know that I am probably sounding naive at the moment, but that statement did not sit well with me. I believe that there are better means to accomplish goals. Thoughts?

March 16, 2007

*Sigh* I'm happy

Its a cold and dreary day here in Brooklyn Park. I'm sitting at my counter drinking camomile tea and catching up on hours with my dog. Just sitting here and listening to some good music and knowing that I have all the time in the world feels so good. I woke up early to take the dog out and we louged around dozing until around 10:30 when I decided it would be a good idea to take a shower. Now, I look good and he looks even cuter taking a nap at my feet. I miss days like this. Although I know spring break will soon be over, it is nice to sit here a believe that every day could be so amazing. I love life here. For now.

March 01, 2007

Brianna Lane Concert

TOMORROW Friday, 3/2 at 7pm at The Whole in Coffman Union:

Brianna Lane with Haley Bonar and Breanne Durenberger

I really want to go, please let me know if anyone else is interested!

Tickets are $5 for students and its 18+

Rape Allegations are False?

Last October, a psychologist went to the police saying that she had been raped in her office by a man in his early to mid-40's. According to the police, they spend hundreds of hours on this investigation. The police considered this to be an extermely violent rape and asked the public around her Cathedral Hill office to help with the investigation. The report was found to be false only after finding the man and discovering that she did in fact know the man based on internet conversations and "other evidence" that the man offered. Apparently, this man knew the police were looking for him, but did not come in. My question would be, if the sex was consensual, why would he not go in and explain? Aside from that, what frustrates me most about the report from the Star Tribune, is this:

Officials said they regretted the wave of uneasiness and fear that was sent through the Cathedral Hill area after the allegation was made.

"We hope that they will feel a sense of relief that the allegation was false," said police spokesman Tom Walsh. "I'm sure there is a little outrage that they were put through this unnecessarily."


Although, I must give the police some credit, they did say that they are relieved that there is not another 'sexual predator' in their midst. According to the Pioneer Press, the police hope that this will not discourage rape victims from coming forward. Already only 1/5 women report when they have been raped, we certainly don't want that number to drop more. I feel very uneasy about this situation, anyone else?

Thanks to Nataliejoyce and Joey.

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