Excuses & Classes
This summer, I have neglected writing here for a couple reasons. I have been working - this is really a bullshit excuse because I don't really work that much, but in my defense, it does wear me out. The other reason is because every time I start to write something, I think it isn't worthy of reading and just delete it. Past my silly fears of unknown eyes, I haven't really been having anything other than a normal summer. I am really excited to start my summer class, though. I'm looking forward to making new friends and incorporating them into my very dull life. Having a summer class also gives something to look forward to. Without this class, I would probably be much more depressed than I already am.
I am also finding that this year has continued to surprise me over and over. And its only June. As I have been trying to find my own place here, so have my friends. The only thing that I wish, is that I wasn't necessary to their growth outside of coffeeshop antics. God[dess] bless Allison for always being there fore me. She is the rock in my life right now. The person that I can turn to, the person that will hear what I say and not repeat it, not even to me if I can't hear it. The threads that were keeping our small group together are loosening and I don't know what I can do to stop it. I don't think anything I do will be helpful anyways. To tell you the truth, I'm petrified of losing these girls. I have depended on their friendship and comfort this whole year and I don't know what to do without them. I hope we can all stay together. Except Emma, of course, who must leave us for France. I wish I were as bold as she is. I couldn't leave everyone and everything here even if I had wanted to. I admire her. Maybe someday we will all go together, anywhere. The prospect of this fall is scary.