Illusions
take a picture, it'd last longer
i'm trying to find a photo
to fit my every mood
a visual depiction of my soul
for all who wish to see
perfection: impossible to obtain
yet always the ultimate goal
'i look fat in this one
that one's no good either
look how i'm smiling
i look so ridiculous'
i am well aware of
what you think of me
i discredit you for those thoughts
i bet you didn't know
that i have fooled you all
into thinking something other
than you believe i am
it's all an illusion
you're just scared to admit it
go ahead and keep thinking
you've got me all figured out
i'll keep fucking with your head
and use you some more
you see, the thing is,
i'm actually an awful person
i have no intentions for you
i refuse to feel bad for
anything that happened
however, i also refuse
to think about it any more
than a moment on the drive home
i'm such an angry woman
yes, its true, i'm one of those
i'm nice merely to get my way
i'm submissive and small
merely to make you think
that you have all the control
when in actuality i have you
wrapped around my finger
blinded by these illusions
of who i want you to think i am
my worst fault might be
my lack of good judgment
for that i apologize
i didn't have to drag you in so far
but i missed contact
(and i hate you for taking advantage)
now that i've received it
i can begin the process
of erasing and forgetting
and now i know why
i cannot find that perfect photo
there is no way to find a picture
that demonstrates my essence
when i am an illusion