Poems

I am creating winter
through expressions and cardigans
hoping somehow to bring seasons
faster than goddess wills

I yearn for the sadness
of cold weather and sweaters
wavy hair and fallen leaves
oh to hear their death
beneath my shoes

I miss curling up in blankets
drinking tea to warm my blood
reading books to exercise my thoughts
creating poetry in looks
and wondering at the wind

the room swirls with my
favorite music
intricate sounds infiltrating
my lonliness
lifting me to a familiar comfort

I miss looking up at the moon
determining my mood
growing closer to myself
learning more everyday as
I hug my body into warmth

as fall fades into winter
that is my time, know me then
the blandness of my appearance
are forgiven by the depth of
my character

my hair grows long and unkempt
continuously covered neck to toes
many days without makeup or a purse
just my bus card, a book with five dollars
tucked in the pages for a cup of coffee

you can find me on the second floor
staring out the window
watching the worlds walk by
wanting to know them
then sitting back and sipping
some lonliness and I'm comforted

I am creating winter
through expressions and cardigans
hoping somehow to bring seasons
faster than goddess wills

Posted by Jessica Englund at 07:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I have missed words like
a woman misses the moon.
She does not realize the
impact of the vacant sky
until the marvelous orb
graces the darkness once again.
Bring sensuality and mystery.

Posted by Jessica Englund at 08:50 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

books are like rugs as
poetry are the weaves
stories run in and
amongst each other
creating delicate
labyrinths of a message
like a love note tucked
in the folds of sheets
the tone of discovery molded
by all circumstances

Posted by Jessica Englund at 08:48 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

this bench is hard and my back is beginning to feel the strains of sitting and searching for so long. i wish i had a pen and paper to document what i feel, this room and its holdings. these are the people who bypass me and my predetermined insignificance. here you will find just one mistake of mine, but give it time and these old but intensely remembered mistakes will gather to taunt me, draw me. they never knew me, these mistakes of mine. i don't blame them, the fault is entirely my own. as my mistakes filter through the walls and wander around the room, each triggers different but no less complete sets of emotion. the one you see to your left is brightly colored, an exotic bird. these bright colors flash much like a neon sign attempting to bring me near and seduce me into - how long? - two years ago. i know i've been spotted, but the only way to avoid temptation is to deny its existence and power. my gaze ascends to another mistake writhing, waiting for recognition. this one is easy to ignore and no longer threatens. i had tried very hard to make this mistake and i refuse to be so foolish again. before i turn around i can feel the most comfortable lethal decisions creep up and envelope me in a gauzy illusion smelling sharply of fierce cologne and entrancing beauty. this mistake had hypnotized my will and i walked the plank of my own passion. manipulation is hard to see. sometimes it is like love or friendship, you cannot see it, only feel it. sometimes its sweet and enticing like ripe fruit, flesh falling away, begging to be stripped and enjoyed. sometimes its hard and forceful like a brick wall. your skin may be made of steel, but these high speed stakes make it malleable. i was strong enough to keep from breaking, although like any injury, my skin holds the scars: memories of pain, remembrances of healing and strength. and as i close my eyes, these mistakes disappear and the song of my soul overpowers everything else. so here i stand. pulsating to the beat of my blood and slowly swaying to the song. when i finally look up, i see no one. my imaginations have dissipated and only my truth remain.

Posted by Jessica Englund at 08:34 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I promise to maintain my mystery.
I promise to always love you.
I promise to never stop looking at you - to understand every nuance of your being.
I promise to never change my name or compromise my beliefs.
I promise to never stop learning or seeking a greater understanding.
I promise to give you pleasure and happiness within my every grasp.
I promise to always look for you.
I promise to always search for beauty in life and share it with you.
I promise to write you love letters and put poems in your pockets.
I promise to make you cry for all the right reasons.
I promise to always admit when I'm wrong.
I promise to embrace memories and years rather than avoid them.
I promise to kiss every inch of your body.
And I promise to accept you. All of you.
Because its you; my counterpart.

Posted by Jessica Englund at 08:24 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)