Imaginations
this bench is hard and my back is beginning to feel the strains of sitting and searching for so long. i wish i had a pen and paper to document what i feel, this room and its holdings. these are the people who bypass me and my predetermined insignificance. here you will find just one mistake of mine, but give it time and these old but intensely remembered mistakes will gather to taunt me, draw me. they never knew me, these mistakes of mine. i don't blame them, the fault is entirely my own. as my mistakes filter through the walls and wander around the room, each triggers different but no less complete sets of emotion. the one you see to your left is brightly colored, an exotic bird. these bright colors flash much like a neon sign attempting to bring me near and seduce me into - how long? - two years ago. i know i've been spotted, but the only way to avoid temptation is to deny its existence and power. my gaze ascends to another mistake writhing, waiting for recognition. this one is easy to ignore and no longer threatens. i had tried very hard to make this mistake and i refuse to be so foolish again. before i turn around i can feel the most comfortable lethal decisions creep up and envelope me in a gauzy illusion smelling sharply of fierce cologne and entrancing beauty. this mistake had hypnotized my will and i walked the plank of my own passion. manipulation is hard to see. sometimes it is like love or friendship, you cannot see it, only feel it. sometimes its sweet and enticing like ripe fruit, flesh falling away, begging to be stripped and enjoyed. sometimes its hard and forceful like a brick wall. your skin may be made of steel, but these high speed stakes make it malleable. i was strong enough to keep from breaking, although like any injury, my skin holds the scars: memories of pain, remembrances of healing and strength. and as i close my eyes, these mistakes disappear and the song of my soul overpowers everything else. so here i stand. pulsating to the beat of my blood and slowly swaying to the song. when i finally look up, i see no one. my imaginations have dissipated and only my truth remain.