Rainy Days
why does the rain have this effect on me? the day goes cloudy and opens up to drown me in my own emotions. sunny days bring merely bad tastes and sweat. days like these intoxicate me to a point of no return as my whole body tingles with these thoughts. bring me closer to myself and allow me to know what happens. i have never been gifted to know what will, but i hope to understand why or how for now. what will be will come and now could not be more relevant. i know that i can fly up and get lost in the wind. take me higher, let me forget these mistakes and worldly nonsense. these are the days that make me forget why i do what i do. i cannot remember why i study or why anything matters. i could stare out windows and into my soul for hours. the view is unimportant, if you look closely enough, you can follow the drops to the ground and se where they become one with your reality. what more could you want from a day? allow the sky to open up and pour down all that you needed to release. go ahead and cry, you are no better than that grand expanse. go ahead and feel, it will do you more good than you know. as i sit, the book i've been staring at wrinkles at the corners where my tears have fallen. i look at the pages, at the way they bend with my emotion. even such concrete words are malleable on such a day as this. i want merely to hold my tea closer and allow it to absorb through my skin and spread its warmth through my veins. it may be true that i've fallen in love with all that i cannot have. on these days, i revel in that love and wear it across my body as if i have love returned. the more you feel on days such as these, the more you know who you are. i plan to spend every rainy day learning what goddess wishes me to know. bring wisdom and sensation.