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November 9, 2005

The Question Every Girl wants an answer to...

So I know many girls ask this but I'm going to ask it anyway even though I am well aware of the fact I am not going to get an answer. Why must guys torture us by not calling us back? I just don't understand. Many guys will say they just don't like talking on the phone but I think its for another reason. What that reason is I don't know. I think if it is really because they just don't like talking on the phone they should just call us anyway because we spend a lot of time getting ready for when we go out or even when they come over just to hang out. Girls always over analyze stuff and we simply can't stop over analyzing so I think guys need to change so we can stop driving ourselves crazy. I know wishful thinking...

Posted by estr0043 at November 9, 2005 8:24 PM


Guys should call girls back and speak on the phone and be generally interested in a real relationship. In a relationship, even at the beginning stages, two-way open and frequent communication is important. It's not just your imagination or unjustified to feel the way you do. Frankly you are being slighted by someone who is insensitive. I do think that men need to be retrained to have better relationships. Just look at the huge increase in divorce rates and cases of domestic violence in our society. I think it's important for families to start raising then boys to be more considerate and more actively involved in building healthy relationships. Part of the problem is lack of respect for women and objectifying them. We are taught from a young age that the most important role of a woman is to look good and put out. We see this glorified in our TV shows, National sports, music and movies. Our popular culture encourages young men to treat women like they are not equals in a relationship. They are objects to be had. I know this sounds like a harsh criticism and all men are not like this. Some do get it. Women do see the problems in relationships because that is important and they get it. There is nothing better than having a life-partner that we can relate to and that is our best friend. But the burden should not be just on the woman to build a good relationship. Men do need to take responsibility for their attitudes toward women and change. I hope your friend understands why he's in a relationship before you get tired of waiting for him to call and find someone really interested in a partnership. No guy should be absent from a relationship. Otherwise it's not really a relationship. Sorry I ramble on. I've been married for 22 years and I had to figure out some of this the hard way. I really love my wife and now try to focus on how to help her live a fulfilling life instead of always taking from our relationship. It can be really beautiful and rewarding for both people actively contributing to each other's well being. Only resentment and problems come from one-sided relationships. So don't feel bad about feeling the way you do. You are right. Men should call and be more sensitive. And the right man for you will do this. You deserve a good relationship.

Posted by: John at November 9, 2005 10:24 PM

Thanks John. Maybe one day I will find someone that has the insight you do but unfortunately I think it takes guys many years to gain that! I guess I just have to keep dating idiots until I find a nice guy.

Posted by: Jessica at November 16, 2005 5:00 PM

The anxiety that the ladies have during that phone call is something that we may not clear identify with. For guys its simply a matter of i like you, i'll call you back but don't necessarily have to. I may forget to call you back but it won't be intentional. It might just slip out of my mind. Ladies are just more relational than the guys, so they value communication that aims to build relationships more. As you wait for that phone call, allow some room for possible dissapointment. This is the only way to avoid being hurt.

Posted by: Gideon at August 22, 2011 3:06 PM