On Friday, while sitting in class, Professor Simpson had me wondering about myself. Although maybe a little personal for a psychology 1001 blog, this is what has been running through my mind for the last few days and nights. Simpson explained to us three different attachment styles:
• Secure Attachment Style: Trusting, without concerns for abandonment, feeling self-worth and being liked.
• Avoidant Attachment Style: Suppression of needs due to repeated rejection. Difficulty in forming intimate relationships.
• Anxious/Ambivalent Attachment Style: Worry that others will not reciprocate intimacy. Caused by inconsistent experiences.
These attachment styles are studied in both children and adults. When studied in children, the parent/child relationship is what is focused on, and in adults it is mostly with lovers/partners.
When I was a baby, I definitely would say that I exhibited a secure attachment style, but now I have migrated to an often anxious/ambivalent attachment style. No offence to the other anxious/ambivalents out there, but I wonder where I went wrong? This personality trait is also only evident in me in romantic relationships as well. I am less trusting and often enjoy a one-hundred-percent-relationship. With friends, I am much more laid back, and even individual, I would say. I have no problem with sometimes doing things on my own.
I wonder my morph in my personality attachment traits came from my parents' divorce. Watching what should have been unbreakable fall apart between my parents could have possibly swayed my ideas about love and relationships. Then again, I wonder if my dad's relationship with me after the divorce was what caused it. When in class, Simpson talked about the children with "shake it off" parents. This is how my dad deals with almost all problems in life, and he expects that we do the same.
All in all, I will never know why exactly I am the way I am. Or, in fact, that I am actually how I say I am. Self-assessment is never completely reliable. I think it would be so interesting if I could look into this deeper. I also wonder if the people I've chosen as my closest friends are similar to me, and if that's why I've chosen them to surround me.