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January 24, 2007

The State of the Union Is... Lame

I didn't watch it, and I don't regret it.

It's all well and good that the President's required to visit Congress once a year (he's not even allowed to go in there the rest of the time) and tell them how he's doing. But everyone knows it's just another place for him to repeat the same things he says at all of his press conferences. The opposing party customarily gives a rebuttal afterward. But the President doesn't need to go all the way down to the Capitol to talk past elected representatives and have them talk past him. If I wanted to hear more Republican talking points, I'd turn on talk radio.

What would really liven it up would be a Q & A session, where Congressfolk could just ask the President direct questions, to his face, in front of everyone. How often does that happen? In the UK and many of the former English colonies, at least once a week - of course, they're parliamentary governments where the head of state (well, not technically that) is a member of the same body that's doing the asking. But still, it's fun to watch; the Prime Minister's Questions is one of my favorite TV shows. Say what you will about Tony Blair's governance, but the man is quick on his feet, and deals well with boos, hisses, and catcalls from his peers.

Maybe it would also make for better government. Imagine if the President were physically there, in front of a Congressman asking a question, instead of having the Congressman just announce his disagreement at a press conference. And he'd have to answer. Maybe this would be a big step toward turning our political system into some kind of dialogue or debate, instead of a bunch of nabobs nattering their tired old party lines whenever they're in front of a camera, with their votes already decided behind closed doors. If nothing else, at least it would be a better TV program than America's Funniest Home Videos.

January 20, 2007

There is such a thing as destiny

She's out there, somewhere.

I'm looking for a man to photophosphorylate me all night long.

...

I will fondle your vesicles while you caress my golgi body. My stroma is leaking all over the place. We can do it in the alpha or beta configuration, whichever you prefer. You whip me with your flagellum, tubulin subunits flying everywhere. We can make a mess as I've hired some lysosomes to clean up after. Please have a smooth endoplasmic reticulum but know that I like it rough, if you know what I mean. I also prefer my ribosomes bound...tight. Spin me round with your basal body and make sure it's turgid. Pump me up and down your concentration gradient, letting the chemiosmosis take control. I can go both ways, just like an amphipathic phospholipid. Do you like aerobic respiration as much as I do?

Let me know if this makes you secrete.

I don't remember who drew this to my attention, but thanks. I'll be in the Bay Area twice in the near future, and possibly for a very extended period thereafter, so I'll be sure to keep my signal-recognition particles on the alert. From the sound of it, we were made for each other, like the 40S and 60S ribosomal subunits. Let me show you to my private vacuole; I've got some helicase and SSBs to help us unwind. Or, we can splash around in the cytosol. I don't like to brag, but I'm a C4 photosynthesizer. Don't worry, I'll wear a phospholipid bilayer.

And yes, I just secreted all over my extracellular matrix.

January 10, 2007

Public Service Announcement

We never learned this one in high-school health class.

"Remember, kids, it's down the road, not across the street!" Usually, someone who says this doesn't have the well-being of the listener in mind. But I submit that power over the timing of one's death is the most fundamental freedom of all (per Sartre) and an important part of well-being. The rise in suicide rates popularly (factually?) associated with industrialization and increased quality of life could, in fact, be a good sign. In a perfect world, everyone would commit suicide, eventually. Furthermore, it's our duty as ethical people to secure others' ability to end their own lives when they choose.

Well. Now that half of you have left, the remaining one (Hi, Jenny!) is expecting an explanation. First, how can rising suicide rates be a good thing? Well, one obvious explanation is that quality of life (on some intangible, existential, angsty level if simple indicators like the price of marijuana say everything's groovy) is actually declining, and people have more of a reason to opt out of the world. I agree that's bad. What I'm suggesting is an alternative explanation: regardless of the quality of life, maybe the quality of life-extending medical technology (longevity, of course, having nothing to do with quality of life) is increasing to the extent that people who would have died earlier get to live until they don't feel like doing so anymore. If that's the only mechanism, and it's probably not, then it's a very good sign. More people get to live exactly as long as they want to. Like Nietzsche said, they die at the right time.

What's really tragic about most deaths is that the deceased didn't want to die just then and there; they had other plans that were cut short. It's easier to accept someone's passing if "she's lived a full life," or "it was just his time." This is because those deaths take away fewer of the victim's potentials, or hopes, or options, or freedoms. And that's why an ethical person, and an ethical society, should raise awareness about how to kill oneself cleanly, painlessly, and cheaply. We shouldn't try to prevent the act of suicide itself, because it's the most fundamental freedom; as Sartre said (I think), simply to live is to condone implicitly the conditions of the world. We should certainly try to improve the conditions that would lead someone to want out, but the smaller issue I'm talking about here is also improving their access to the final exit in case they should choose to use it.

So on that day when I came home to find a body on the sidewalk in front of my building, if the first batch of police hadn't just arrived, I should have run over to check if he was alive – surely we agree on that. Then, if he was still alive, the selfless thing to do would have been to finish the job for him. Yes, you read that right. In this situation, the open window and the bystanders made it clear what he had decided to do, and if he had temporarily survived the fall, it would have been my duty to remove the obstacle preventing him from doing what he wanted. I'm sure I couldn't have done it, and I wouldn't have been able to live with myself (even in my jail cell) if I had, but it would have been selfless.

It's like sex education. Sure, you might argue that it just condones or even encourages the practice. But the same kinds of counterarguments apply, too. For one thing, as you can see, I condone the practice. For another, it's going to happen whether I condone it or not. Just like catching herpes because there were no condoms is more tragic than catching HIV from informed carelessness, a botched suicide attempt by an uninformed person is worse than a successful one by an informed person.

I don't see comprehensive suicide education coming to a public school near me anytime soon. But the next time you see a guy dangling from the Washington Avenue bridge, give him a push for me.

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