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Dobson for President!

Yeah, I mean it!

As you might have read, (Vice) President Cheney made a quick visit to Utah last weekend. He visited a very secretive meeting of a very secretive organization called the Council for National Policy, which would seem to be a cabal of several hundred religious conservative leaders from around the country, though the membership list is confidential, the meetings are closed to the public and the press, and members are discouraged from talking about it.

Anywho, one prominent participant in the recent meeting decided he'd go public about one thing that happened there:

If neither of the two major political parties nominates an individual who pledges himself or herself to the sanctity of human life, we will join others in voting for a minor-party candidate.

This proposition didn't garner a consensus, but there was apparently some agreement. So if the Republicans fail to nominate someone evangelier-than-thou (John McCain is already a step ahead in the pandering dance, which seems to be his thing now), such as a Mor(m)on or a thrice-married sometime cross-dresser who used to cohabit with a gay couple and thinks he's qualified because something bad happened on his watch, they may just start their own party.

I hope that happens. Why? First, it would steal votes from the GOP like Ralph Nader used to steal from Al Gore. The system is rigged to keep things nice and simple by preventing third parties from winning the presidency. Second, if the fundamentalist herd threw its mass entirely behind this new candidate, the winning president wouldn't owe them anything, even if he's a Republican. Third, if the theocratic lobby went to all the trouble of separating itself from other electoral forces, Divine Right's defeat in a fair election would be an abundantly clear sign that America doesn't feel like going back to the Dark Ages.

So if this new party were to form, who might they pick for leader of the formerly free world? Well, maybe that's what this unabashed leak in the NY Times is about. This could be an all-too-subtle way for Jim Dobson, probably evangelical conservatism's most prominent lay member, to throw his halo in the ring. All he needs now is a running mate. May I suggest Ted Haggard? I understand he's looking for work, and he doesn't mind being the bottom in a two-man operation.