Diary of Dan Frank

Thursday night was trouble.

Katie Moreno called me and asked if I wanted to go out with her and Tony that night. I should have said no, but I said yes. Her friend John came along as well, and our first stop was the 90's.

I did try to tell me friends that it would be dead at the 90's seeing as how everyone would be at the Saloon. But none of us wanted to go there so we coould be someone's eye candy for the night...Sure enough we walked into the 90's and no one was there...It was totally reject night at the 90s. So we sat down had one beer and left.

From there we went to the Bird in Maplewood because it was dollar drink night. John could not get in because his birthday is on halloween and his yellow papers are apparently already expired. Oh sad that he could not join us. Katie took him home and came back while I got my drink on and talked with Tony. When Katie got back the night began.

By the end of the night I lost track of how many drinks I had nad completley forgot about school the next day. I had so much fun though it was worth the almost 50 dollars I spent that night running around the bar yelling TUBEY SHOT and then drowning my sorrows in eithera blue rasberry or a jello shot with a beer chaser. Nummy.

Posted by Daniel Frank at 01:16 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Monday on the bus was an experience all of its own.

It all started out very normal. I got there at my usual time and took my usual seat, towards the back but not to far back. However, the experience I was to have on the bus this day was going to be unlike any other I have ever had.

First of all, none of my friends were on the bus, so that left an open seat right next to me. This is not too odd, however there were enough people on the bus yesterday that someone decided they should take the seat next to me. Also not a big deal, that is until I got whiff of this guys body odor!

It was horrific, the guy smelled like he went over to petco to buy his dog a raw-hyde bone and some beggin' bits and then suddenly had a moment of extreme selfishness. He may have said something to this extent.

"What the hell does that dog ever buy for me?? Nothing that’s what. I know what I should do I should eat all the begin bits, roll around in his dog food, and then chew up his new raw-hyde bone. Yeah that’s it, and then when I am done with that I am going to get myself on the 460U at 8:40 am and sit next to Dan Frank."

The smell was so strong I could barley breath. I was seriously about to ask him, politely, to move to another seat. "You asshole, do you mind if I can get some FRESH air over here, its really hard to breath since you took it upon yourself to make your dog jealous by rubbing all over his food."

After a while my nostrils got used to this man's putrid stench when I suddenly caught a whiff of some other aroma this man was emitting. This was so horrific I could not even put my finger on it, but I could best describe it as the smell of stale vomit. I again was having difficulty breathing and was again about to politely ask him to move to a different seat. "You mother fucker I am trying to take a nap here but I can't seeing as how I can barley breath with your stinky ass sitting right next to me. NOW MOVE BITCH” Of course I, again refrained from such an outburst.

After a while of the stale vomit smell I heard the crackling of a paper bag. When the noise subsided the smell became more distinct. As more of the aroma hit my nostrils I realized that it was not the smell of three-day-old puke, but the smell of an Egg McMuffin. At this point I was able to put my troubled mind to rest.

You would think that this is the end of my story, however it is far from the end of my horrific tale, which I will now call Stench of the 460!!!! MUUUUAHAHAHAHA.

At 11:25 I caught the 460 back to the Burnsville Transit Station, that bus, however was not all I caught. As I entered the bus I also caught a whiff of the distinct smell of shit.

Who's shit was it? I did not know there were only a few people on the bus at the time the bus driver, and two other passengers. Whoever was the culprit was either having the problem the whole way home or was the parent of a pulsating stench.

A pulsating stench is one you immediately smell, but suddenly it goes away only to return again. The pulsating stench is dates back many centuries and is closely associated with the magicks. The first pulsating stench (ps) was rumored to be the offspring of Merlin himself. According to ancient texts Merlin was quite the prankster and also gave the world the infamous "pull my finger" gag. The next person to have supposedly issued a p.s. was Houdini. Conspiracy theorists' believe that it was the p.s. that caused his untimely death. Other famous magicians that have pulled the p.s. are David Copperfield (when he made the statue of liberty disappear), Sigfreid and Roy (why else did the tiger attack), and Shannon Daughtery (her career).

Posted by Daniel Frank at 11:57 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Ok I am such a dork. I went to the 90s on Sunday with my friend Tom to meeting this guy who I have never met before named Tim. Wow I know a lot of people with the T as the first letter in their name.

Anyway, Tim was a bit late but we did end up running into him, and he is cute. We did not get a chance to talk a lot because of the volume of the 90s so I think we may hang out some other time over coffee or something.

I feel like a gross perve as well. I am not used to dancing incredibly close to people so it was incredibly odd. Add that to the fact that I have not had sex in.way to long, it was even more uncomfortable when I started throwing a semi. Even talking about it I am blushing a little bit at my embarrassment. I am sure Tim could tell what was happening down there.

Am I a gross sexual freak because I popped bone while dancing with someone, or does that happen to everyone? When I see all the other people on the dance floor doing the same thing, is their body also doing the same thing? I even feel like a loser for worrying about this.

I feel really dumb though because here I have been talking to Matt online and really wanting to meet him, and I go and meet Tim. I guy I have honestly only talked to twice. I think Tim likes me and I think Matt has said something along the lines that he thought he would be interested in me. Is it bad that I am interested in two different people?

None of us are dating each other so its not like I am cheating, or it’s not like these feelings are wrong. I guess I would just feel bad if I were to get to know Tim better and then suddenly meet Matt and start to date Matt. How would that make Tim feel? Hypothetically speaking what if when that happens Tim is under the impression that he and I are going out?

My friend Tom said that there is nothing wrong with dating two people at the same time, which is why they call it dating. But I don't know if I agree with that 100%. I don't believe there would be anything wrong with me getting to know both of these guys at the same time, and then making an "informed" decision, but isn't that essentially dating?

Posted by Daniel Frank at 11:24 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)

Yesterday I had quite the frustrating trip back home, and I believe a large portion of it has to do with John Kerry being downtown last night.

The busses were all crowded, some of them did not even bother to stop at Coffman union (the 16) and some filled up in less than two minuets. I ended up waiting about 15 minuets for a bus. The bus I ended up getting on was a SW Station bus, one of the black and gold ones. I knew these busses would take me to the gateway center so I hoped on one.

What I didn't know is that the driver was going to take a different way than they normally do. I ended up beiong late for the bus and decided that if I speed walk perhaps I could meet the bus at 4th and Marquette. I guess I didn't realize how far that was. I did see the bus I wanted when I got close to Marquette, so I ended up running the rest of the way until I caught up with the bus. This ended up being about 4 or 5 blocks.

Thank You John Kerry for making get in my daily exercise!

Yesterday I also talked to this boy named Tim, he told me he was currently at the Wilde Roast, so last night I decided to go over there and try it out because Uncommon Grounds seems to be lacking in the flavor department recently.

The Wilde Roast is just off University and Hennepin, across the street for boomb. It was a nice looking place and moderatly priced as well. Usually when I go to uncommon I get a chai tea and it costs 4.98, at the Wilde Roast the chai tea cost 3.75!! Now this chai was nowhere near as good, so the next time I go there I will have to try their coffee drinks, or perhaps I will make a selection from thier food menu. The great thing about this place is that they do serve beer and wine!!

Anyway It is about time to go to class.

Posted by Daniel Frank at 09:54 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

During my last class I got to thinking about this guy I have been talking to online for awhile now. His name is Matt, and I really enjoy talking to him. I feel like I have some things in common with him that I would like explore either in a phone conversation or in person.

However, I am not sure if I feel like I am thinking more realistically, or if I am just giving up hope. I do not believe Matt and I will ever talk on the phone. I do not believe that we will ever meet face to face, and thus I do not believe that our relationship will ever progress beyond online buddies. Granted there is nothing wrong with online buddies, I was just hoping for more from Matt.

I feel so stupid for feeling this way, but I can't help but wonder if these feelings are justified.

Posted by Daniel Frank at 11:16 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)

Last night I went out to the 90's. It was not something I was really planning on doing, but some of my friends had called me earlier in the day and asked me to go with them. This stupid decision whether to go or not actually took me all day to finally answer. In the end I decided it would be good for me to go out and do something, so I went.

My friends had told me ealier in the day that they were going to bring thier friend Nick, it turns out I actually went to High School with Nick. We had a lot of the same friends, but never hung out togther.

Anway we started off watching the drag show and then we went into the retro room, where I got hard core checked out by maybe three or four guys at the same time. This was a strange occurance for me, usually I do not get checked out while I am there.

Anyway after awhile we decided it was time to move again and we ended up going downstairs into, I guess you would call it, the techno room. While we were down there we just watched people dance. There was this one guy who was so funny, I think maybe he was loopy on some drugs or something because he looked like he was in a runway modeling show. He would do his little walk, turn, pose, pose, strut, turn, pose rutine. Later on he followed it by doing his stretches, very funny.

While watching the new fashion line my friend was accidently bumped into by this guy who was very nice about it because he immediatly appologized and was not over the top (fake) about doing so. After he apologized he looked over at me and we made eye contact for what seemed like an incredibly long amount of time. I smiled of course letting him know it was ok to talk, and then he just walked off. WHAT THE HELL???

Perhaps I am putting off a "look, but don't touch" vibe... I suppose that, that it far better than the "if you even look at me I wil slowly tear each testicle form your body" vibe.

Posted by Daniel Frank at 09:34 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I have just come to realization as to why I have a bitter taste in my mouth when it comes to homosexual men. This may make me seem concided, or self centered, but anyway.

I realized today, while reading the Minnesota Daily, that I disslike many gay men simply because they do not aknowledge me. I am not saying that they have to pay attention to me whenever I am around. But many just seem to live thier lives as if I do not exist.

For example. There is a boy in my ASL class named Chris. I am not saying that he and I should be best of friends or anything, however if we were to see eachother out someplace he would not aknowledge me. The irritating thing about him is that he does not aknowledge me in class either. If I were to suddenly make eye contact with him, he would immediatly look the otehr way.

Another example. I met this one guy at a party like a year ago. Shortly after the party I saw him walking around campus. We walked right past eachother, and I made eye contact and smiled. He did nothing, no smile no "Hey" nothing.

Is this behaviour par for every gay man and I am just the odd one, or have all the homosexuals at this school decided to close themselves off to everybody who passes their way?

Should these people be my friends simply because we are both gay? NO, however they are not even giving me the chance to show them who I really am. Who knows what kind of friendship we could have and they just dissmiss it.

Perhaps there is another reason why these people do not talk to me, perhaps it is more asthetic.

Posted by Daniel Frank at 11:23 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

hmm so nodbody read this... why do I continue to blog??? Perhaps I will just stop.

Posted by Daniel Frank at 12:43 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Guess what everybody...You are currently reading the 100th entry in The Diary Of Dan Frank!!! Itsn't that exciting???

On that note I wish I had something exciting to tell you about, but nothing to spectacular has occured in my life recently. Well except the two things I am about to mention.

I won the lottery!! No not really but hey that would be news wouldn't it?

Strange things have been happening around my house recently...Things that need to be explanied, however no logical explanation can be found. The other day I woke up and came down stairs only to find that the living room and kitchen had both been cleaned. Of course my first instinct was to think that some kind of magical fairies came in during the night and cleaned those two rooms. Then I thought better of it and thought it must have been my father, wait...no...on third thought I am going to go with the magical creatures.

The next day I awkoe and went into the hallway to use the bathroom, and I saw something that temporarily paralized me. There in my fathers bedroom I saw him...dusting!!!! Later on in the day I saw him washing his bed sheets!!!!, then a few days later I decided to enter the room that used to terrify me so. I was amazed at the fact that my fathers floor was not made out of paper, or dirty clothes, but he actually has carpet!! I decided to take a risk and turned to go into his bathroom. I was completley shocked to see that that room did not containt a black toilet, scummy looking shower, or a blsck counter top. Oh no, this room containts a white toilet, a glass shower, and a pink?? counter top.

I felt like I had entered some kind of twilight zone.

Now for the second exciting thing that has happened...

I got a hair cut

Posted by Daniel Frank at 02:04 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Let me tell yall a little story about a day named yester...as in yesterday.

It started out perfectly normal. I had two things to look forward to on this particular Wednesday. Number 1, I was going to go out to lunch with a family friend I hadn't seen in a long time. We ended up going over to Applebee's where we each had one margarita, and then I had the Chicken Fajita Roll Up, one of my favorites.

The second thing I had to look forward to was the PRSSA meeting. Some of the people in there make me a tinge uncomfortable, but overall I enjoy the experience thus far.

After lunch I went back into Coffman to finish studying for my exam and to just sit. As I was leaving to attend my PRSSA meeting I walked to one door where I saw something that made my blood chill.

There on the other side of the door about to walk into the entrance of Coffman union was an old friend of mine, Tiffany. Even the mere mention of her name sends shivers down my back. Needless to say this is one person who I thought I was free of as soon as I transferred to this school.

In order to avoid the mandatory salutations one must go through when running into an old friend, no matter how horrific being friends with this person was, I quickly went to another door. This, however, did not work as she made a diagonal line in order to enter the main area of Coffman from the door I was exiting through. I pretended not to notice her by rubbing my head...all my nonverbal's were screaming "DON'T TALK TO ME"

After I passed her I thought I was in the clear until I heard that all too familiar squeaky voice "DAN?" Commence mandatory salutations.

Of course it would not be a conversation with Tiffany if she did not bring up my ex boyfriend Nathan. I am not going to go into detail of how much his life sucks right now, me lets just say its pretty bad.

Anyway, good thing I was in a hurry so I had an excuse to not talk to her for an extended amount of time. I am so happy I got out of there before she asked for my cell phone number. I would be extremely tempted to give her the New York rejection hotline number.

RANDOM THOUGHT I THINK I SAW A TEACHER OF MINE FROM MIDDLE SCHOOL!

Anyway, running into Tiffany hath shown me that I really do need to add a little variety into my routine while here at the U.

Back to my random thought...That was my old teacher from 8th grade, Ms Covert. I saw her walking past again and thought I would say "hi". It was so nice running into her again she helped me out immensely back in the days of Dakota Hills. She would let me stay after school and she would help me on any homework she could. I sincerely think that it is because of her that I am here. I just hope that I am not her Tiffany...That one person you randomly run into after thinking you have permanently erased them from your lives.

I guess I should call this entry shadows of the past.

Posted by Daniel Frank at 01:25 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Ok so I am thinking it may be time to change up my routine a little bit. I say this because I go to a school with about 40,000 plus students yet I seem to see the same ones all the time. Why, you may ask do I care if I see new people everyday or the same ones. To tell you the truth I do not know, but I do know that they say variety is the spice of life and I am hoping that soon my life will became like the seeds of a jalapeno pepper.

The other day in ASL I overheard this guy Chris asy that he was a PR major, and this floored me. I hate that he is a PR major, and that everyone in the J school now seems to be going into PR. I guess part of it is me wanting to be different, and part of it is me being afraid they are better at than me, and when I get out there all the jobs will be taken. I know that is irrational seeing as how PR is boombing in the Twin Cities, yet I am so concerned about it.

I just don't like the idea of other people doing things I want to do.

Posted by Daniel Frank at 02:51 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

So last night I got home and my dad starts telling me that quest called about the DSL. Apparently when he called them back they said that nothing had been done about it and they were wondering if we still wanted it?

So they tried to process the order all over again and there was some kind of error that could not be fixed by the gentlemen my father was on the phone with.

So the guy tried to transfer my dad to the customer care center and "if we get dissconnected here the number to call". By this point my dad was pretty pissed off and told them "If we get dissconnected how about you call me!" They got disconnected.

This really makes me mad as well because now my dad is all like I don't think we will be going through them anymore. Once again, and I will try to say this calmly...awww who the fuck am I kidding...WHAT DOES IT MATTER TO YOU WHO WE GET DSL THROUGH????? YOUR STILL GOING TO BE ABLE TO USE IT FOR FREE!!!! asswipe.

I wills say this, the fact the quest did not get the order through and we are supposed to have the DSL connection in a week pisses me off as well. I recently heard Verizon Wireless is comming out with a DSL connection. Perhaps I will call quest today and see if the order has been processed and if it has not I will tell them to forget we ever orderd it and then I will go get information on Verizon Wirless DSL.

Why is this such the big freaking drama?
Dad: Chill out, your not paying for any DSL...I AM
Quest: Do your fucking job right the first time. I have never had any problems with you or with ordering services from you, why start now?

Posted by Daniel Frank at 09:45 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

The theme of this weekend has been solidarity, and not by choice.

Friday I was supposed to hang out with Josh so I called him before I went to work, but he never called back. So I went home of an hour after work and called a bunch of people to see who wanted to go out, no one answered there phones, so I went back into Bonfire and had be some drinks.

Drink 1: Caribbean Martini
Drink 2: Tall Mich Golden Light w/olives
Food: Chipolte Chicken Quesadillas
Drink 3: Same as 2 (FREE)
Drink 4: Same as 3 and 2 (not as good as 3 cause I paid for it)

Needless to say I felt pretty good.

Saturday I worked and was supposed to hang out with Jenny when I got off. They ended up need me far longer than I anticipated, when I called her she was already sleeping. So I went to Joe's for a soda and then back to Bonfire because I forgot to tip out.

Sunday (tonight) I was again suppose to hang out with Josh, I also gave Will a call cause he called me earlier in the day, and I am now sitting here at Uncommon Grounds sipping on Chai Tea. I guess that means nobody called me.

Tomorrow I work and then am probably going to have some wine after work, but I have not really been feeling the drink this weekend. Probably a good thing so I can save money.

I think I am getting more and more bitter about people especially homos I realized there seems to be no gay people out there that I can stomach, besides Tony...Joe if your reading this you get off on a technicality... you aint gay you be bisexual, but you already know that so I guess I don't need to tell you. Maybe I am not talking to the right gay people and that is why I think most of them suck... who knows.

That’s all I got I am tired... good night.

Posted by Daniel Frank at 10:17 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I am sitting at work right now before I have to get on the clock. I am came here with the notebook I am borrowing from my mother so that I could do some homework that requires the use of the Internet.

Anyway It feels so odd to not be bogged down by any wires...In fact it reminds me of a story I once heard. You see there was this toy maker, and he had created this life like marionette and one day he wished on the very first star he saw that he could have companionship or some crap like that.

That very night the blue fairy came down from the sky and gave the marionette life. While the marionette was alive he still was not a real boy. He was however able to walk around without any strings or wires...This prompted the boy into song.

"I've got no strings to hold me down...blah blah blah"

Anyway I guess what I am saying is that i feel like that little puppet boy because I now know what it feels like to be a real boy? Oh no thats not it I now know what it feels like to not have any strings attached.

You know this can also be applied to relationships today. When you break up with someone it is as if the blue fairy has come to you and clipped the cords. You are now free to experience the world without the other person holding your strings, manipulating you to go where ever it is they want to go.

Posted by Daniel Frank at 05:48 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I am excited because in 13 days I will once again be able to connect to the Internet in my home. I know 13 days if far away, I do wish it would happen sooner, but oh well.

I think I am going to buy a wireless card today so I can bring my computer to school and connect anywhere I want to. Hmmmm I just had a though, perhaps one of my neighboors uses wireless internet and when I buy my card I will be able to connect to thier internet. hmmm interesting thought...MUUUUUUAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Posted by Daniel Frank at 11:20 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)