Diary of Dan Frank

Worn out and exhausted I made my way home from what had to be one of the worst nights I have ever had working at Axels Bonfire. When all was said and done I made $172, which is still good but I have made $250 closing the bar on a Saturday night.

The night started out much like any other. Because I was on the bar side we were pretty slow at the beginning, however once the dinning room filled up people started to filter into the bar/smoking section.

Suddenly I was being bombarded with new tables, every time I looked there seemed to me new people anxiously waiting for me to take their order. This was fine and dandy and the night progressed like this for quite some time.

As the list of people became fewer and fewer at the host stand I noticed a group of people waiting. There was probably one adult in the group and five children. This was not too bad but for some reason they just stuck out to me. When this party was seated they were placed in my section, but I realized then that the adult seemed to be missing and that more children joined the flock.

I went over to the table and noticed that they had split up a large group of people, Chris, another server working that night ending up receiving the "adult" table, while I was stuck with the children. This is not the ideal situation for a server to be in, but I thought to myself..."it's only five kids, how bad could it be?"

When I came back from getting the children their drinks I noticed that two more joined, so I got their drinks and the same thing happened! The amount of people sitting at this one table was expanding at an alarming rate; they were multiplying like rabbits!

At this point I started to get quite upset...when all was said and done there were over 15 children occupying three of my tables and running me all over the place. I have had numerous nightmares about this exact scenario occurring and now I was living it!

Needless to say I spent the rest of the night running around trying to be the best server I could possibly be, and failing miserably at it. I was practically in tears, simply because a group of prepubescent children were making my night a living hell.

After the children were sat many of my tables tipped me poorly because of the service they were receiving. This is not altogether bad seeing as how I probably deserved those tips, but the consequences of their presence did not end with me, oh no. The other person who was closing night ended up getting a three dollar tip from one of her tables who happened to have an $80 tab, simply because they were mad that these kids were sitting in the bar...They must have honestly thought that we WANTED them there; sorry think again.

I found out later on that the piano players who were providing our guest with the nights "entertainment” were connected to the group of kids. They were their children! This pissed me off to no end, and if it EVER happens again I will have no problem going up to them and telling them to fuck off!

The piano players were placed within our stores in the hopes that they would increase business, but from what I have seen they are able to successfully empty out a crowded bar in less than a half hour!

Posted by Daniel Frank at 03:57 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Alone and wandering the cold dark streets of Eagan for something to do, I (Dan Frank) found myself at Caribou Coffee doing homework. The coffee shop was practically deserted; the only patrons there were the couples in engaging in their toured loved affair, and me. Looking around it was pretty obvious which of these people had spouses waiting for them at home.

I silently sat reading about mass communications and listening to my ipod as the couples around me sipped on their moca lattes and discussed who would be on top that night. Finally I was finished with my homework for that as I sprinted out of the store, leaving the adulterous atmosphere behind me.

Again I found myself with nothing to do roaming the streets like a stray animal. Looking at the clock I realized it was 9:00 and that the servers at Axels Bonfire would soon be getting off of work. When I arrived at the restaurant I immediately went into the backroom to see when I would have to revisit the building with the intention to sell my services for cash, as if I was some common prostitute; Saturday night at 4:30.

When I left the backroom I was greeted by the sight of Jessica, a fellow employee, whom had just clocked off; thus ending the night of pleasing customer after customer. She proceeded to ask me if I wanted to stay and have a drink with her, so we obtained a table in the bar and ordered two bottles of beer.

As we sat there I looked around and was once more greeted with the sight of couples deep in conversation. These people were different from the ones I had previously been observing at Caribou. Here at the Bonfire I saw men talking to women and vice versa while their husbands/wives eagerly look on pondering whether or not their spouse was going to be able to deliver the sexual entertainment for the evening. I softly chuckled to myself as I observed these couples swinging from tree to tree in pursuit of sexual gratification from someone other than the person they arrived with.

When my drink was gone it was again time to roam around the streets, but this time I was leaving with intention. My mind was whirling as I quickly maneuvered my way down the streets of Eagan; destination, home. The plan was to drive past the house I currently reside in with my Father to see just who it was he had over and what they were doing. I was determined to figure out why this was the second time he was asking me to vacate the house because he was going to have people over.

As I made my way past the house I noticed that there were no cars parked on the street, and the house was as dark as the intentions of the people I had been observing. What was going on there, who did my dad have over, and what were they doing? At this point I again glanced at the clock in my car, 9:35, I didn't have time to seek these answers as I was running slightly late for my arrival at my final destination.

So I slowly pulled away from the house, making my way to the city of Maplewood, where I would be spending the night. Each mile I drove the voice in my head was asking the questions louder and louder, which only caused me to get angrier and angrier.

I finally arrived at my destination for the night, the place where I would be able to put my mind at rest; Katie and Tony's apartment. When I arrived Tony was waiting to let me in pressing the obnoxiously loud buzzer at the appropriate time. When I entered the apartment Katie had already gone to sleep, slightly disappointed that I missed her I made my way into the living room and sat beside Tony on the couch.

Tony I proceeded to make conversation, and I told him about my night, and the strange occurrence at the house. While I am happy that my parents decided to get a divorce, the idea that my Dad is seeking intimacy from someone else while he is still technically married disgusts me.

My Father requesting my absence on Friday night is upsetting in that it is deceptive. He must think that I am still the innocent child he held in his arms 21 years ago, because he certainly is not treating me as if I was an adult. If he were simply having friends over why could I not stay in the basement while he entertained them? If he was having a woman over for the night, why could he not simply be honest with me?

These thoughts were/are incredibly disturbing to me, so much so that I caught myself contemplating the search of comfort in familiar arms.

Posted by Daniel Frank at 04:19 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Here are some new online tests courtesy of Blaine!

take the antisocial test.
and go to mewing.net. because laura's feeling social.

Cocktail


?? Which Alcoholic Drink Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

What are you?

Posted by Daniel Frank at 03:35 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Another drunk night on the town is possible for yours truley tonight. Tonight is the second time since I have been living with my father that he has told me to not come home. The first time I was told to not come home until after a certain time, but this time he has told me to find some other place to spend the night.

This causes me to question what he is planning on doing. The last time I aksed he simpy said that he was going to be having friends over, but the question remained why could I not simply stay in the basement?

Shortly after the first time he asked me to not come home I was upstiars in his room using the internet when I noticed that he had placed candles around his bed so that there was a candle for every corner of the bed. By where he places his head there were two candles placed on each side of the bed.

This seems like a wierd thing to do if you are having your friends over. Perhaps he is using this to relax at night; my father suffers from panic attacks, which keep him up all night. The other possibility is that he has a girlfriend and is planning on having her spend the night. If he does I wish he would just tell me instead of lying about it.

My mother seems convinced that he does have a girlfriend simply because he filed for the divorce instead of waiting for her to do so. I do not believe this means he has a girlfriend, but what I do know is that I plan on driving past the house at some point in the night to find out exactly who is coming over and what is going on.

If my dad does in fact have a girlfriend I can't say that I would be the happiest person about it. He is still not divorced from my mother yet and if he is entertaining some whore at the house he will be confronted about this. While I can't stop my father from moving on and having girlfriends I would have hoped he would at least have had the courtesy to wait until he was offically single.

It is definatly time to play detective!

Posted by Daniel Frank at 11:28 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Goldy The Gopher was spotted outside Coffman Union on Wednesday handing out little pieces of paper about becoming a leader. Also being passed out were little dumb-dumb suckers, yummy.

Unfortunately that is not the only thing Goldy left for his fans. As I was walking towards the front doors of Coffman Union I almost stepped on something. Looking down at it, it looked it could have been either a cigar butt or a small piece of Gopher poop.

Whatever the item is, litter or excrement, it remains where I found it on Wednesday afternoon. The only thing that has changed about this item is its appearance. It seems as though some poor unfortunate college student had the misfortune of stepping on the excrement and dragging it around campus.

What is the world coming to when people do not pick up their pets defecation leaving it for others to step on? I believe there is a law regarding such conduct and I for one would like to speak to Goldy's owner.

Posted by Daniel Frank at 10:41 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Snoop Dog, Adam Sandler, Jim Carrey, the cast of the OC, and all this year's Oscar Nominees all have one thing in common...They are all "Out to get me Lucky Charms!" Well no, not really, however they are all will soon be recipients of gift bags personally stuffed by me! Dan Frank.

The gift bags are part of a promotion we are running at General Mills for our newest cereal; Chocolate Lucky Charms!

The cast of the OC received their gift bags before the Golden Globes so if you happen to see any of them wearing a Chocolate Lucky Charms t-shirt and/or hoodie, you will know that I have touched that particular item of clothing.

Posted by Daniel Frank at 10:29 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)

What is the world coming to, when the only thing parents look for in what they think is acceptable behavior for a cartoon character is thier sexuality? Today I was reading the CNN website and they have this article about Christians who issued a GAY warning on a Sponge Bob Square Pants video.

This article upsets me because these people are totally missing what the message of the video was. They are automatically assuming that this video is promoting a homosexual lifestyle, and not tolerance of all different kinds of people.

Here is one of my favorite quotes from the artcile. "SpongeBob, who lives in a pineapple under the sea, was "outed" by the U.S. media in 2002 after reports that the TV show and its merchandise are popular with gays. His creator, Stephen Hillenburg, said at the time that though SpongeBob was an oddball, he thought of all the characters in the show as asexual."

So now because we like something or like a specific cartoon and it's merchandise this character is automatically gay? That is just stupid. Thats like saying that anything we like is gay and promoting homosexuality to todays youth. If this is true you better take everything away from not only your children but yourself as well because us GAYS (as CNN put it) like a wide array of things. We like homes, food, clothing, movies, cars, sports, jewlery, hats, mittens, jackets, watches, cell phones... the list goes on and on people.

Posted by Daniel Frank at 11:17 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I saw this on Pete's Blog thought I would take it. I totally agree with the description fitting me, but I kind of thought like Pete, I would also be a Seth.

Posted by Daniel Frank at 10:51 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

So Today is my first day of classes. I don't know that I can say I have enjoyed it so far. Of course I know few to zero people in my classes. This sucks because I was under the impression that when you got down to the last few classes of our major you would end up in the same class with people, but I guess not.

So far there are also zero hot guys in my classes, which is not a bad thing because this will ensure that I will pay more attention to the class then to what the hotty sitting across the room is doing. This seems to be true, however of the whole campus this semester. What happened to all the good looking guys? Did this university have good looking guys going here last semester? I really don't remember.

Anyway I tried to get online using my laptop today so that I could update a few things on itunes..I basically need to get the song and artist names listed on there for some the songs I converted the other day. That way when I play them on my new ipod I can see what the name of the song is, who is singing it, and the name of the album it came off of.

Oh yeah I think I forgot to mention that I bought a 20 gig ipod the other day. I thought that I should get one because i never got myself a Christmas present, I never got one from my Dad, and I made the Dean's list!! This is a funny thing to me. I have not gotten really good grades since I was in like 2nd grade. In order for me to do better my parents used to offer a monetary reward for good grades. When did this stop?? I mean HELLO I MADE THE DEAN"S LIST!!! THIS IS A BIG DEAL!! and what do I get??? "Congrats" from both my parents!! Where is the money? Where is the celebratory dinner and night out on the town? Am I being selfish??? probably.

Posted by Daniel Frank at 12:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Yesterday I went to the 90's with Katie and Tony, I had a pretty good time, but I am pissed that we had to pay an extra 5 dollars to get upstairs to the cool bar. I don't think Katie liked it too much either. Every time Tony and I go to the 90's we have an ok time but most of the people there simply piss us off for no good reason.

I didn't have many drinks yesterday, but I did have strong drinks so I got myslef a little tipsy. That is when I started to have more fun. There were a couple of hard parts about going to the 90's last night. The first was that from the moment we were there until the moment we were leaving I wanted a smoke. I di resist and am proud of myself. It will be sooooo much easier to go to the 90's when it becomes smoke free. For me, I want a smoke when I see other people doing it, thats why it is hard for me to be around the gays.

The other hard part was I started thinking...Wait that sounds a bit bad. Let me explain. As we all know I have been single for awhile now, which is not altogether bad. I like being single yet I would like to date someone. I am not still hung up on my ex but, I feel like dating someone is a good idea because that is the ultimate sign that I have offically moved on. The hard part is that I am not interested in anyone. I see people that I think are good looking but I never do anything about it because I assume that they will not feel the same way. On the other side of this if someone shows an interest in me, they are usually not someone I am interested in or I may think that there MUST be something wrong with them.

What am I waiting for?? Am I waiting for Tony, or someone just like him? The problem there is that Tony and both understand we broke up for a reason and so we will never go out again. If I am waiting for another Tony that is stupid because there will never be another Tony, he is one in a million.

The next time I am out and I see a good looking gay guy I should take Gwen's words to heart, "Take a chance cause you might grow"

Posted by Daniel Frank at 12:51 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)

Well hello boys and girls...I feel as though I have let you all down by not keeping you updated as to what it going on during my spring break. Well here is my best attempt to catch you all up.

The rest of the trip in AZ was spent doing all kinds of fun things, we went to see a show at the local casino, where I saw people pretending to be other celebrities. Elvis was there, the Blues Brothers, Madonna, some comedian guy, and also the Temptations. Before the show started we were sat practically right on top of the stage, and they sat this pretty good looking guy right behind us. So of course I pretended to stretch my back quite often just so I could get another look. We ended up moving into this booth thought and the cute guy and his Dad stole the table was had been sat in. After the show my Mom and Sister had to use the bathroom and when they came out I spotted hot guy moving around like he was looking for some thing, or someone. Suddenly we made eye contact and his head quickly dissappeard. At that moment I was joined by my Mom and Sister and sudenly hot guy reappeard standing right next to us. Unfortunatly he didn't say anything and we ended up leaving. DAMN!!

The day we got back into town was New Years Eve, which also happens to be my Grandmother's birthday. So we went over there to celebrate with her for awhile. Then we left and all went our seperate ways. Katie, Tony, and Jenny showed up at my door around 9:00 and we went to Old Chicago for a quick drink, so that we would be fashionably late to the party at Dave's house. I guess that didn't matter though because we were still one of the first people to arrive. As usualy I had a lot of fun at Dave's, however this year was not nearly as packed as last year. Maybe this is because New Years Eve was on a Saturday and for some reason everyone decided to go out the bars that night instead.

On New Years Eve I smoked a whole pack of cigs, when I do that I always feel bad about it the next day, so I made my self a promise (not a resolution) that by next year I would be a "non smoker" So far so good, but at thet ime I knew of events that were approaching where the temptation would simply be to great. For intance, that Thursday night. Katie, Tony, a bunch of people they work with, and myself went to the Bird Night Club for $1 drinks and UV shots. Yummy. So I decided that since I was trying to quit yet the tempation would be too great that would simply drink, and thus smoke less that night; I only brought in a half pack of smokes. It turns out that was all I needed, but what was I to do with the rest of the pack that I had? Well it turns out that the next night I was invited to a party in North Minneapolis and orginially I was not going to go, but I decided it would be good to get out of the house. While at the party I only had like three smokes and then I had two on the way home! Unfortunatly I thus had smokes left on Saturday.

Saturday I picked up a bar close shift at work, which was very nice cause you have the chance to make much more money. The other girl who was closing with me had tickets to the Playoff game the next day so she needed to leave at like 6:00am. This gave me the chance to be the complete last server on the clock. I am so glad I picked this shift up and stayed because I walked out the door that night with $250!! After the shift was over I sat down with the manager and the two bartenders and we all had some beer, num num! I went home after my four short beers, and layed down in my bed suddenly feeling incredibly intoxicated, so much so that I had to go and puke it all up. I guess I didn't eat enough on Saturday.

Sunday I spent at home vegging out. Sometime in the afternoon I got a call from my Dad who said he just got off the phone with my sister. Apparently her apartment started on fire and everything is gone. Right now she is staying in a hotel before she can get a new apartment. Good thing my parents made her get renters insurance. This may sound stupid, but when my Mom was younger she lived in an Apartment that had a fire in her garage and she lost her convertable, when my Mom and I moved out our apartment building caught fire, when my Mom moved to AZ an apartment near hers caught on fire, and now my sisters apartment has caught fire. I can't help but wonder if the universe is trying to send my family a message of some sort, or if we simply have bad luck with apartments.

On Monday I was working and I got off somewhat early, which sucked because my Dad had informed me that he was going to have people over for dinner and that they would like their privacy, so I was not to be home and earlier and 11:00 pm. I got work at 7:00. So I called my friend Jenny and she met me at Bonfire for dinner and some wine. After she left I still had time so I stayed and continued to drink. As a total at Bonfire that night I drank half a bottle of wine, three 24 oz beers, a washington apple shot, and a gray goose dirty martini. Then we were told it was last call, so we finished there and headed over to another bar so we could make last call over there and get 2 for 1's. Needless to say I needed to be driven home, and I don't believe I fully recovered until 5:00pm the next day; 22 hours after I had started to drink.

Posted by Daniel Frank at 09:51 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)