January 27, 2006

Power of Love

Love is such a strong emotion, that sometimes until something out of the ordinary happens to someone we love, we don't realize how deep that love truely is. The love that I have for my fiance is the deepest love I have ever known. He has helped to shape me throughout the years and not only is he the love of my life, he is also my best friend, and constant companion. He has been away for a day on vacation with his family and I now realize how much we do together. It is so weird not to have him by my side. Tonight when I was talking to him, he was complaining that he was really winded, had a really fast heart rate and a tightness in his chest. (he is skiing in Colorado) We decided that he should just rest and see if that helps. Three hours later he calls me and he has been resting the whole time and he still doesn't feel any better. So I talk to him and I start to look up on the internet some conditions associated with high altitude....he is exhibiting some of they call the clinic and talk to a nurse and explain his sympotoms and they feel that he should go to the hospital just to get things checked out. Here I am a thousand miles a way and helpless...that is the worst feeling in the world. Not knowing if everything is okay and not being able to be next to him to hold his hand when things get rough. Things like this make you realize just how important some people are to you.. I should be sleeping right now...but I can't because I don't know if he is okay...His mom called and he and his dad were at the hospital and his heart rate had slowed down to normal, but they still want to do a chest x-ray and maybe an EKG or blood test on him. So here I am just waiting and wondering what he is feeling right now. I know that he would like nothing more than for me to be by his side right now and I really wish that I could be....I can't wait to be able to give him a huge hug when he gets home tomorrow. I just want to remind people to always let those you love know how you feel, because that way you can take comfort in knowing that they know you's a sort of unspoken's almost as if I can hear his thoughts in my head...strange I know....I know that everything will be fine....but it is just the not knowing that kills us as people...that is why we are so curious and why we try to find answers to any question that we may ponder.

January 24, 2006


Why is it that we go through life with constant comparison?

We are always compared to norms, to others, to expectations, and ultimately against ourselves. It doesn’t seem that we can go through life feeling like we are the best that we can possibly be because as we get better we compare ourselves to greater and greater things. This doesn’t seem like a fair thing to do to ourselves, but yet we do this everyday.

Is there anyway to get away from comparison?

Can we ever truly accept ourselves for who we are or what we become?

If we can, will that make us happy?

I don’t know the answers and that is why I ask you to Ponder This.

January 22, 2006

The role of a parent

Parents are supposed to guide thier children into adulthood. They are to teach them how to survive in the world. I feel that there are a lot of parents today who neglect that responsibility and who feel that their children's only job is to have is important but children also need responsibility. I don't have children of my own so some would say that I don't know anything about parenting...and perhaps I don't, but I do know what it is like to be a kid. It involves a lot of growth and there were times in my teens when I did not get along with my parents at all. I was very headstrong and independent....not such great things when you see the world through foggy glasses. But my parents thankfully were strong enough to help me through those times....they never gave in or gave up and I truely believe that is what has allowed me to grow into a responsible adult, who respects her parents. I know it has to be hard to tell you children NO and to take things away, but sometimes you have to be the bad guy for awhile to be the good guy in the end. As a parent you can not always side with your child because sometimes children don't see the world in its full effect...with consequences. Sometimes you have to be the bad guy to keep your children from hurting themselves. There are no rules to parenting....but maybe their should be some guidelines...and I really think that all parents should have to go to parenting classes at various times during their child's life. Since there is no guidebook, parents need to be able to admit that they don't know what to do and they need to be receptive to advice from others, because sometimes those outside the situation can get a better grasp on what is going on. I am dissapointed with some of the parenting that I see today, but there is nothing I can do because you can't tell someone else how to raise their kids...people just aren't receptive to that. I just want parents to think about their children's happiness in the long run....sometimes what makes them happy today won't make them happy in the end. Children look to their parents for guidance and as a parent you have to be there to help steer your child in the right direction...for without direction children get lost in an unforgiving world that they are not prepared to handle. As a parent stay true to your beliefs and be straight forward with your children...if you say they are grounded for a week from something hold true to that...because kids know how to manipulate and they are very good at pulling on your heartstrings, but you need to see through that and tell them..."someday you wil thank me for this". That is what my parents did for me and it is probably the only thing that helped me from heading down the wrong path in life. Although we don't always see eye to eye, I have a tremendous amount of respect for them, and I always know they will give me their frank honest opinon whether I like it or not, and I like that. Our relationship now is open and honest and there is mutual respect and I can truthfully say that my parents are one of my best friends. So be a parent who gives guidance and hold true to your word and in the end you just might be able to be your kids best friend.

Miracle of Birth

I was watching a show on babies who were born against all odds...and it got me to thinking the lengths parents go to for their children and what they sacrafice for them, not to mention the amount of money they would spend on them. It is amazing, and I don't think that parents get enough credit for everyhting that they have done. The parents on this show overcame huge obstacles just to have their children, and I wonder at what age their children will really appreciate everything thay did just so they could be born. I don't think enough of us realize what our parents have done for us. So I would like to take a moment and thank all of the wonderful parents out there who have given their kids so much, taught them so much, and more importantly loved them through everything. Being a good Parent is the hardest job in the world. I know I will not understand it fully until I am a parent, which will not be for a long time, but I am finally grasping the concept of what it takes and that is why I think good parenting needs to be applauded. Thank you to all of those who love us so much and would do anything for us.