January 27, 2006

Power of Love

Love is such a strong emotion, that sometimes until something out of the ordinary happens to someone we love, we don't realize how deep that love truely is. The love that I have for my fiance is the deepest love I have ever known. He has helped to shape me throughout the years and not only is he the love of my life, he is also my best friend, and constant companion. He has been away for a day on vacation with his family and I now realize how much we do together. It is so weird not to have him by my side. Tonight when I was talking to him, he was complaining that he was really winded, had a really fast heart rate and a tightness in his chest. (he is skiing in Colorado) We decided that he should just rest and see if that helps. Three hours later he calls me and he has been resting the whole time and he still doesn't feel any better. So I talk to him and I start to look up on the internet some conditions associated with high altitude....he is exhibiting some of they call the clinic and talk to a nurse and explain his sympotoms and they feel that he should go to the hospital just to get things checked out. Here I am a thousand miles a way and helpless...that is the worst feeling in the world. Not knowing if everything is okay and not being able to be next to him to hold his hand when things get rough. Things like this make you realize just how important some people are to you.. I should be sleeping right now...but I can't because I don't know if he is okay...His mom called and he and his dad were at the hospital and his heart rate had slowed down to normal, but they still want to do a chest x-ray and maybe an EKG or blood test on him. So here I am just waiting and wondering what he is feeling right now. I know that he would like nothing more than for me to be by his side right now and I really wish that I could be....I can't wait to be able to give him a huge hug when he gets home tomorrow. I just want to remind people to always let those you love know how you feel, because that way you can take comfort in knowing that they know you's a sort of unspoken's almost as if I can hear his thoughts in my head...strange I know....I know that everything will be fine....but it is just the not knowing that kills us as people...that is why we are so curious and why we try to find answers to any question that we may ponder.