Vonn falls, loses shot at second gold medal

| 1 Comment

The Associated Press reported Feb. 18th about Lindsey Vonn's crash.

Lead Paragraph: WHISTLER, British Columbia - Lindsey Vonn, her bruised shin "killing me," lost her bid for a second Olympic gold medal Thursday when she missed a gate and fell in the slalom leg of the super-combined.

My first thoughts when I'm reading this lead is, what was the writer thinking? Honestly, I am extremely confused about everything. Right off the bat the first sentence threw me for a curve. First of all, it starts off in third person, then it goes to a quote in the first person, then it goes back to third person. I understand what the writer was trying to do, yet I don't believe it is effective. It lacks a certain flow that news reporting usually has. It also lacks straightforwardness. The terminology is also quite confusing. what is a "slalom leg of the super-combined?" I am not a skier, and I assume most people reading this article are not skiers as well. This could have been placed further down in the article since it's more detail oriented.

The second sentence is even worse
"Maria Riesch of Germany won the event, helping to atone for her failure to challenge best friend and biggest rival Vonn in Wednesday's marquee downhill race."
I find this sentence a little confusing. It doesn't quite make sense. "Helping to atone for her failure.." I'm not sure how this fits into the article, and I'm not sure if it makes sense. I'm sitting here reading and re-reading the sentence to try and understand the point the writer is trying to get across. Whatever point it is, could be done a lot more clearly and concisely. I really don't have many compliments on this article. It does however make up for a rocky beginning with a clear middle and ending. Yet, if the lead is the most important part of an article, I think it failed.

1 Comment

I do not really like this lead and don't really think it is effective. It is very confusing, and the reader has to either read on or have to know exactly what's going in order to understand it.

Also the lead doesn't seem to flow and is very choppy. Overall it doesn't really sum up the article and in fact even the article is not very well written and seems very choppy and random.

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This page contains a single entry by giamp004 published on February 18, 2010 7:55 PM.

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