Queer or not Queer? No labels please


I really enjoyed the way the term Queer was broke down and explained, however I don't like any labels. I have always negated the gray or binary area of any labeling word when used to describe an individual. In my mind, there is a spectrum. At one end of this spectrum lies the really flamboyant gay and on the other lies the really heterosexual being. I believe that no one lies exactly on either side, but rather as time progresses both sides gradually moves towards a common ground (the middle). I like to think of this common ground as Queer. It is a word that encompasses much. It is a safe playground for all and in a way help eliminate the many labels associated with the gay community. Just think if there was one word that could describe the entirety , for example like the word black or white without defining the deep definition such as the type of black or white, this is what Queer does for me. I believe it would give others a reason to be themselves and do what they actually wanted to do. I do believe it's not who we are, but what we do that should define us. And if being oral with the same sex once classifies you as "gay" or "homosexual" then no wonder people pull back from accurately describing their-selves. Who wants to be placed in a box? Those words hold negative connotation and stigmas unlike the word Queer which is fresh, happy and screams "I'm proud!" I dislike labels because of my spectrum example, I don't believe such exist. Binaries and gray areas will always exist, because people lack the understanding that individuals change and act according to what people do not who they are. People attitude, ways, and other things associated with doing is the underlining force of action for the opponent. It's not the surface (i.e. gender). When we begin to ignore that many sexualities exist, we complicate the ongoing changes of individualistic progression. If a person kisses, performs oral sex or shows interest he/she/both shouldn't automatically be classified as gay or bi. Here is where Queer works perfect. However, again I don't like any labels. People are who they are and do what they want. Is there such thing as heterosexuality? Genderfuck has caused a stir in the gay community and have confused the allegedly heterosexuals. If one is to base their likeness of a certain sex based on what is in between that person legs, then I believe the onlooker is confused about his or her sexuality. It simply takes more than an organ to spark interest, for most. Popular media could be to thank for this. Our minds and interest are shaped because of it. For example, when Naomi Campbell says she wishes she had Rupauls legs. I ask myself why she would say that. I believe it is because of the changing world. Everyone is headed there... sorry.


I think even a spectrum might not be broad enough to describe all of the different types of folks out there. I think it would be sad if everyone just ended up in the middle of it, because it would leave much less room for playing with gender, which is the fun part about it. I do agree with most of the other things you said, however, a person should not be given a specific label based off of the acts they have performed, and should be able to choose themselves how they want to identify. So, I guess I should say I dislike labels being forced on to people, but I do think it is fun to play with words, labels, and gender!

I agree with you as far as identity labels themselves have limitations. However I have to agree with nels6731 that in the example provided I think one could go even further to make your scale even more encompassing. In your version I think it is important to look at the term "Queer" as it also includes gender identity not just sexuality.

It would be nice if everyone was on a spectrum where "as time progresses both sides gradually moves towards a common ground (the middle)", but I don't think this is the case. There are homosexual people and heterosexual people and there probably always will be. It is nice think about a world with no labels, but sometimes we need labels for the sake of understanding what each other is talking about. Although you do not like labels, it seems you have labeled "queer" people, or at least the word queer, as "fresh, happy and scream[ing] 'I'm proud!'" This is a nice sentiment, but I don't necessarily think this is the case either. I believe queer describes a wide spectrum of sexual preferences/actions, which is good because it takes away the black/white ideology of sexuality. But screaming "I'm proud" isn't quite what is does.

I think your thoughts are really interesting- and your idea of a spectrum reminds me strongly of Kinsey's work, obviously. Your idea of not having any labels is an interesting idea, too. Do you think labels are beneficial in ways? I'm thinking of when people are first starting to figure out their "queer" identities and often find a lot of comfort within being able to label what they are, and then find a community under that label. Though they might be restricting in a lot of ways, do you think labels can be helpful in some ways?

I like your idea of a spectrum versus labels, but feel that the word "queer" can be a great way to identify the spectrum itself and its contents (though in this sense, really, everyone is queer). When I was younger I always equated labels as little boxes people used to cognitively organized other people into groups, and therefore as a means of division and marginalization, but had never heard of sexuality as a spectrum until college. When I first started talking to people about my sexuality and how I hated labels, one person said that I should just pick a label, any label, because even though it might not be true, it would be a lot easier than going into an explanation of my identity, especially while I was still in my small town. As right as that person was, I wish someone had told me about Kinsey's scale and sexual fluidity back then.

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This page contains a single entry by danie455 published on January 30, 2012 10:53 AM.

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