As I read Jack Halberstam's post, I only vaguely agree with his argument. I found the film to be engaging and exactly as he said, more of a critique about the reality of marriage than a reality of homosexual marriage. While my own experience does not mirror a family with two moms, there were threads of connections woven throughout. I was able to relate to some of the family dynamics because that's how a family works, not strictly a family with lesbian parents. Yes, the element of the sperm donor changes those dynamics incredibly but if Jack Halberstam wants to focus on the desire-less relationship between Nic and Jules I feel that he is ignoring the reality that, as humans, we get bored. Despite whatever commitment you make to someone, there still remains an element of our humanity that will wander. In this case, Jules' wandering was more than a flirtation or a daydream fantasy. It is the decision to fight that wandering and hold true to the whole-hearted promise you made from day 1. I think that is what I took away from this more than the gendered roles of the moms' asexual relationship vs. Paul's hypersexual world of casual relationships. I agree far more with the second portion of the quote, "trading in sex for comfort, change for stability, and improvised relationships for marriage are all bad deals and if we don't change the social structures we inherit, we are doomed to repeat them." People make compromises with themselves everyday and, inevitably, mistakes. We were able to watch the progression of this family as they learned a little more about themselves and then were left to cope with the aftermath. However, it is how this family, and all families for that matter, use what they learn through these monumental experiences and morph and change for the better. This is what we, as societies, need to be doing - morph and changing our ideas of how a "family" looks and acts.
Family
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I really liked your post and agree with what you had to say. People do get bored easily, and it's not just relationships and that should also be focused on. It was also more of a take on relationships in general not lesbian relationships seeing as there really isn't much of a difference between that and a heterosexual relationship. I also really like how you talked about how we're constantly making compromises and making mistakes. Overall, I really enjoyed your post.
I agree with a lot of what you had to say and you state your claims very well. I'm glad you mentioned the part about how in reality people get bored. That statement needed to be made and seemed to be missing from both the film, and Halberstam's critique, and it is so true. People do get bored, it's not great, maybe some would say it is a flaw of our species, but this is the circumstance and it must be accounted for. Glad you brought that up. I also strongly agree with you about how we as societies need to morph and change our ideas of how a family looks and operates. Thanks for sharing =]
Good point about relating to the family style, "because that is how the family works" All families have issues and it was portrayed in this film. Also good point about the element of humanity. People naturally wander and we cant help this as part of humankind. Also good point about it is how the family uses what they learn about themselves to cope with the aftermath. Overall thanks for your opinions!