Before I delve too much into this, I would like point something out. From my perspective, many queer people attempt to model themselves off of heterosexual culture. I see that often in relationships where one is masculine and the other is feminine. I honestly don't think we (GLBT people) are in the same boat as our heterosexual brothers and sisters. I don't live in societal boxes where I must be masculine/feminine and my partner must assume a role in opposition; however, I do see a masculine and feminine role in many GLBT relationships. We use those boxes to make sense of our existence because we are unable to critically assess our own individual roles and relationships.
I also do not agree with Butler's assessment. I don't think many people in the GLBT community are capable of playing with their sexuality to the extent she infers.
Armand and Albert's relationship definitely plays on the masculine/feminine gender boxing. Armand run's the club, has a child, teaches Albert how to be masculine and Albert does the shopping, dotes on Val, instructs the housekeeper on his duties and performs in drag.
The subversive aspect would be that Nathan Lane is actually a gay man and playing to the stereotypes that keep us boxed in. The heterosexuality aspects that are positive in this movie would be the family family values. Val refers to Albert as his mother and while they may not be a traditional family, they are a family nonetheless. This is the positive aspect of the movie, showing that GLBT families may be a little different in their structure, but their love is the same as heterosexual families.
Good point about the typical mascluine/feminine relationships. I think sometimes a GLBT couple is like that naturally, and sometimes they think they are supposed to be like that. But more and more, I believe the GLBT community is beginning to more and more have whatever relationships are comfortable and natural to them, and is not worried about fulfilling any cultural relationships or stereotypes. Also, non-queer peoples are beginning to look past those stereotypes they've been conditioned to accept, and are seeing that GLBT couples are just as diverse and complicated as straight ones.
I saw the same masculine/feminine box roles you did. I thought it was especially interesting that Albert goes so far as to call himself Val's mother. Also, I did not know 100% that Nathan Lane was out, interesting. And no matter how stereotypical the movie may be, that is a great positive thing to be taken away: all love matters equally and everyone deserves it.
I am glad you pointed this out (about the masc/fem roles within real lgbt relationships)and I totally agree with you. I have been in a relationship where the person I was with thought she "should be the man in the relationship" and seemed utterly confused when I said that was stereotypical and that being a gay woman, I really didn't want a man in my relationship. I think because this stereotype has prevailed for so long, many queer folks, especially those who are just coming into awareness of their queer sexuality, are more prone to cling to stereotypes because it's what they know. I know this was definitely the case with me when I was a youngster. I thought that being a gay woman meant you had to wear baggy pants and shirts and that you couldn't wear heels, but over time I think notions like this and the need to cling to stereotypes fades away as you get more comfortable with your new awareness of self and your preferences.
Yes I think your right about the love part and I agree that a positive aspect of this movie is showing that families are not normative and there are probably hundreds of different types of families out there right now. Unfortunately the media typically only shows the "stereotypical" American family with a mom and dad and son and daughter and a puppy and a kitty and a hamster named Hamlet. This stereotype has gone on for a long time and it isn't until very recently filmmakers started showing it's audiences that "hey, not every family is like this and it's ok to be different." This movie did an excellent job of that even with the butch femme dilemma. I think more GLBTQ people should go into movie production or directing so that they can be portrayed exactly how they want and to give the GLBTQ community more exposure in Hollywood.
I like that you pointed out what you see in LGBT communities here. It is important to bring life experiences into our analyses. I think a lot of the reason we see so much of the masculine/feminine power structures in queer relationships is because it is such an aesthetic matter. From a distance it is incredibly easy to pick out two people and to label one and more masculine and one as more feminine. However, when you really know these people and their personalities and histories, the issue may become muddled ow more difficult to define. It also may appear that all relationships conform to this binary because that is what the heterosexual population is most comfortable with and that is what is being "allowed" to be presented in media or even in every day life. Those who defy the binary become invisible.