Feeling ATTACHED to this theory...


Out of all the interesting things that we saw, what really stuck to me the most is the attachment theory. All humans have the need to form and maintain stable relationships over time. Parents to children and children later on to romantic partners. Some of the feelings that bond you with your parents are similar to those that bond you with your significant other. I have to admit that yes, this is a bit disturbing to think about, the fact that attachment to your parents can be similar or related to attachment to a partner. But really, this is the relation. There are 3 attachment patterns found in people:
2- avoidant

Turns out that these 3 types are response to how your parents cared for you as a child.
1-Contingent/responsive care=Secure. Parents helped kids when in need but after their problem was solved, they left them on their own. Showed them that they can count on people when they are in distress to calm them down.
2-Rejecting care=Avoidant. Parents that take care of their kids like if it was a burden. They don't provide warmth; they don't help the baby and let them fix the problem on their own. This makes people very reserved; they don't rely on anyone to solve their problems because they don't want to become an even bigger one.
3-Inconsistent/unpredictable care=Anxious-ambivalent. Parents have good intensions but they don't really know what is wrong. This makes people very insecure and clingy.
It makes a lot of sense but I never really linked that how you were treated as a child reflects the relationship you have with your parents and later on with your partners. At least for me, after thinking about it, I understood why I act the way I do in my relationships.


I agree with you that it is a little weird to compare the relationship you have with your parents and your romantic partner, but I do see how they relate. And with those different parenting styles it's going to affect how you act in your romantic relationship. Out of these three different attachment patterns I think that they all relate to trust. If you couldn't trust or rely on your parents you may have a hard time doing that with your partner.

The attachment theory was very interesting. It is a bit weird to think about attachment with parents as something similar to attachment with a romantic partner. It was interesting to me to think about people in my life that I know and match them to the descriptions of the attachment styles.

The attachment theory is a really interesting one and I really see how it works in real life. I know all sorts of different parents and I know how people think of their parents and such. It really makes this theory clear.

I agree that we sort of use our relationships with our parents and the way our parents react with each other as examples of starting our own relationships with lovers. Good job!

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This page contains a single entry by carde077 published on April 29, 2012 6:24 PM.

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