In five years from now, I'd like to still remember that everything that I do is not exactly the result of my choice. There are a lot of reasons my body and brain connect me to my choices, that I'll never truly understand. With that being said, it will be important to me to listen to my instinctive choices and use my free will to decide how appropriate they are to my current situation. Our minds make us do some funny things, but they have withstood the test of time through our evolution. In some way, they must know what the right decisions are. Listen to your body, mind, and heart once in awhile, they've been operating correctly a lot longer than the information in any of our text books.
perre066: April 2012 Archives
I found information by an Anthropologist names Helen Fisher who spent the last 30 years researching love and intimate relationships. Her findings suggest the evolutionary background for love of another starts with a drive to feed ones sexual appetite, then the dopamine and serotonin changes in the brain help build a connection with another, and if the connection is reciprocal the brain has mechanisms of keeping these feelings novel and interesting. A common issue with our nuclear family idealism in America is we assume relationships are monogamous when evidence suggests our brains are capable of having the same connection with multiple people. On the bright side of things, Fisher expects divorce rates to decline due to our increasing age of marriage (studies show as couple age, divorce rates decline). Another interesting topic she presents is anti-depressants and love. Fisher explains that long-term anti-depressant use will affect dopamine and serotonin levels enough to hold back the ability to create an intimate connection and to keep that connection going in a relationship. This isn't to say she is against anti-depressants, just as long as they are short-term. I think intimate relationships are a fascinating subject because everyone at some point looks for love, but not one person goes about finding love in the exact same fashion as another. I think by finding universality, we are getting farther from understanding love because relationships are subjective, not mathematics.