Many times while learning about psychology I was also learning and realizing a lot about myself. The attachment theory really grabbed my attention. I am so thankful to have read and learned about it because I never understood why it was so hard for me to have relationships with people, whether it was with my siblings, friends, or a person of interest. Finding out which attachment style I had, anxious-ambivalent, helped me find ways to create better future relationships with people.
I don't think it was the earlier experiences I had with my parents but the ones I had with my childhood friends that influenced the way I now relate to people I meet. While growing up I went through many (good at the moment) friends, and for some reason they were never there when I needed them the most. So now, whenever I meet new people I expect them to never be there for me when I am at my worst and when I have that expectation I am not able to give them all my trust. I am not able to depend on them. I create a trauma in my head before it actually happens, which will most likely not happen. I scare myself when I do not need to. That put a big gap into the relationships I had. So to be able to have better relationships in the future I need to not always think too far ahead into the future and sometimes just live in the moment. I will definitely remember this the five years from now because I plan on having better and healthier relationships with new people I meet.