I wish I knew what happened to people when they died. When I say people, I mean their souls and minds. I wish there was an absolutely positive scientific answer to what happens when people and other living things die.
I know this is why religion was created. People feared what they didn't know, and created deities to explain these phenomena. As science and technology progressed, so did religion....well until we discovered evoloution and adaptation anyways. But this entry isn't going to be about different religions or anything (well maybe some Christianity). It will be about mine.
I was just reading Anna Karenina and my mind went into one of those chains of thought that I can't explain but it led me to think of what will happen when my physical body ceases to live. I'll be honest; it scared the shit out of me. Try to imagine that. Absolute nothingness. Your done. It's over. No more thoughts. No more visions. Absolute darkness. Where do you go?
This scares me very much because I'm a fairly introverted person. Most of what I have are my thoughts. I can't imagine not being able to think. It's what I do. I sit. I listen. I think. Unless I've been drinking of course.
I can totally understand why people thousands of years ago would have created these religions. Nobody wants to think it's one and done on this world. I don't.
The idea of dying also scares me probably more than others because I don't consider myself as belonging to a religion. I have my own religion. I'm not atheist, but I don't believe in many things. Despite being confirmed in a Methodist church, I have since undergone a philosophical revolution. Basically, I don't believe blindly in things.
Here's why I don't call myself Christian:
1. The Bible was written by men. Not by god. If you say they were inspired by God I will stab you in the jaw. If that were the case, why would we need four accounts and why would there be some discrepencies? Man authored the books. Man is fallible.
2. The religion didn't start until thousands of years after man's existence, yet only true believers in Jesus Christ go to heaven. How is that even close to fair? What about the millions of people who died before he came around? What happened to them? Where did they go?
3. I have a big problem with worshipping another man. Christians call him their lord and savior. The thing is, he was born and died just like the rest of us. For all I know, he could have been a very persuasive guy who excelled at slight-of-hand tricks and created a huge cult following that ended up getting out of control. He could have used the Old Testament as a basis and created his own story from it. Was somebody present at his birth keeping a solid journal of the events? Now-a-days, Jesus might be called a "hustler." Back then, he was a "savior." I hate that it comes to this, but he's going to have to come around again for me to believe in him. The thing is, it's not going to happen.
4. Islam has its jihad. Christianity had its Crusades. Yeah. I went there. I like how most Christians think the people in the middle east are crazy for creating wars over their religions and sacrificing their lives for their religion when that's pretty much exactly what happened in the Crusades. Some crazy fundamentalists trying to play Vigilante God.
5. Let's see how many different interpretations of the Bible we can get. How many branches of Christianity are there? All of them worship essentially the same people and the same piece of fiction. Is one of them correct? I doubt any of them are. That book has been translated so many times...which brings me to my next point.
6. The King James Bible. Seriously. I don't know why you would have to ask.
I don't know if I have any more reasons. I think I do, but I really didn't plan on having a rant on Christianity in this entry. Some of the either worst people or most ignorant people I know are supremely dedicated Christians. I just don't have faith in the system or the people in it or how it is run.
Okay, back to my view on religion. I think it's silly to worship a person, idol, book, etc. or something that doesn't truly affect how we function and live our lives. Forced worship is ridiculous. Actually, worship period is ridiculous. Praying...I don't even want to start on that. Every time I hear someone say, "We'll be praying for you" or something of the sort, I think I die a little inside. What an absolute waste of time. I guess we all waste time though, and if you choose to waste it by praying then have at it.
I've adapted my own religion I think. That's right. I have faith. I'm not saying I have A faith. Just faith. Really, I can't tell people what happens when they die except for what happens to your physical body. The thing is, these other religions created by man can not tell with certainty either. Nobody knows. Some think they do. They don't.
But I have faith. I read a quote from Abraham Lincoln a while back that pretty much summed up my entire view on what my religion is. He said, "When I do good, I feel good. When I do bad, I feel bad. And that is my religion." There you have it. Ben's religion in a nutshell. I try to act fair. I try to give people what they deserve. I basically just try to not fuck anyone's life up and help people I feel I can help. When I die, I have faith that everything just won't stop.
That would suck. Hard.