ElderlyCorps

I call upon America's People-of-Age (Whatchu say, sonny? Speak up!!) to band together to form the world's first ElderlyCorps. It would be like a compulsory PeaceCorps for old duffers. Instead of greeting shoppers at the Walmart or watching squirrels out of the window (or arranging dead squirrels to watch walmart shoppers outside of their window), they could perform tasks that could in some way permanently scar today's youth (like cleaning up hazardous waste or spongebathing the... mselves....)