Would you like cheese on that?

With the recent passing of Jonny Carson, I would like to take a moment to thank the comedians out there who are still making me laugh… starting with David Letterman. (In another words, it was such a busy day that I didn’t have the energy to write something myself). I have included some excepts from a bit he did working at the ordering booth of a Taco Bell.

The closest experience to this I had was when I asked a waitress if she had root beer… she went back to check and told me they sold IBC Root Beer. I ordered a Coke.

Letterman at Taco Bell...

*************

LETTERMAN: Honk the horn, ma'am.

CUSTOMER: Why?

LETTERMAN: We're testing the equipment. It has something to do with the
microwave oven.

(The customer honks the horn.)

*************

LETTERMAN: Hi. Welcome to Taco Bell. What do you want, tacos?

CUSTOMER: No. I would actually like a light chicken burrito, nachos with
a side order of guacamole and a three-cheese melt and a medium soda.

LETTERMAN: That's an awful lot of food. How many people are eating out
there?

CUSTOMER: There's just two of us, and it's not a lot of food.

LETTERMAN: It seems like an awful lot of food to me, and I get the
feeling you're gonna eat it by yourself.

CUSTOMER: No.

LETTERMAN: How much do you weigh?

CUSTOMER: Does it matter?

LETTERMAN: With that kind of food, yeah, when we're dealing with this
kind of quantity, we need to know the weight of the customer.

***********

CUSTOMER: Two light soft tacos and a diet soda.

LETTERMAN: What kind of soda do you want?

CUSTOMER: A diet soda, diet Pepsi.

LETTERMAN: Diet what?

CUSTOMER: Pepsi.

LETTERMAN: We don't have diet Pepsi.

CUSTOMER: How about a Dr. Pepper?

LETTERMAN: A diet Dr. Pepper?

CUSTOMER: Sure.

LETTERMAN: We don't have diet Dr. Pepper.

CUSTOMER: Okay. I'll just have any kind of soda.

LETTERMAN: Well, I have to know what kind you want, ma'am, so I can tell
you we're out of it.

***********

CUSTOMER: Give me some ice cream without the cone. Just put it in a cup.

LETTERMAN: You want cheese on that?