The fruitboard

Next to my sink I have a wall (technically a side of a cupboard) where I affix all of the stickers from fruit I eat. (If I throw out the fruit, the sticker also gets thrown out.) This fruitboard has been operational for about 1 year and the stickers (from left to right) are from Bananas, Apples, Peaches, Nectarines and Plums. The last 3 columns are not scheduled for much growth since my roommate who moved out was the only one who ate them. (I prefer my peaches pickled, which means they don't come with stickers). The fruitboard is a tradition that dates back to my 4th year of college. One of my roommates was eating a Banana next to the sink, didn't know what to do with the sticker, and stuck it on the cupboard. The tradition slowly grew and everyone in the apartment started doing the same thing… mainly because we were all too lazy to take the sticker down and throw it out like normal people.
I am a little worried about this particular fruitboard because the banana growth has been exponential! My roommate started sticking her apples too close to the bananas. To make matters worse, my new roommate only eats bananas… if you catch my drift…
When looking at any fruitboard, there are two natural imbalances you must take into account before making any judgments: (1) some fruits (particularly bananas) only put 1 or 2 stickers per bunch. So each sticker actually signifies 2-3 consumed bananas. (2) The stickers are different sizes. The banana sticker is huge, but at the same time it is not 2-3 times the nectarine sticker like it should be. So what is the comparative factor that determines sticker size? fruit weight? fruit mass? fruit calories? fruit importance? corporate fruit donations to the FDA?
Other things pictured with the fruitboard: my electric fry pan, which I use for cooking everything (even my world famous burgers!). I think I would starve if it weren’t for this creation (and hot-pockets/lime jello). My new plates. They are like fiesta ware, but square.... kind of like I am 1/2 party and 1/2 square. (As I write this all, they are starting to sound like the mullet of dinnerware.) My glasses I spent 2 months searching for and ended up settling for Martha Stewart "Living" glasses. I need to have glasses without any frills (no strange lines, funky patterns, ripples, bubbles, etc)... they must be big (14oz+... I drink a lot and I hate getting up to refill the glasses. Juice glasses are a waste of money. If you only want a little bit, pour 1/4 a glass!!!! I HATE JUICE GLASSES!!!!)... they must be light (I take all the glasses out of their packaging before I buy them to see how heavy they are. I am weak enough as is it and my wrists give out if the glass is too heavy before you even add the beverage.)
The top shelf holds tupperware and peanut products. I basically have my kitchen arranged so I don't have to bend down. If you are relegated to a lower shelf, you probably don't have much clout with me. (Juice glasses would go below the lower shelf if such a place existed... the only one I can think of is hell, which is probably the only place to exclusively use juice glasses). In summary, that's why plates, glasses, Tupperware and peanut products are all on the top shelf. Posted by hans1995 at February 4, 2005 8:51 AM