Why I Won't Last in Combat

Last night I was preparing chicken and my little squirrel friend from the forest came looking for handouts. I didn't like giving them to him (because he would forget how to hunt nuts), but I forked some food over anyway because he was so cute.

The next day I registered for Military Boot Camp. I was one of the last people to arrive and was immediately put off that we were sleeping in little tents surrounded by barbwire. Not to mention, they had made everything grungy and muddy like in the movies. Even the sky seemed grayer.

The first activity was an independent hike around the complex. While others were shooting and killing things, I ran across my squirrel friend who had been injured (presumably by military men). Since I had deemed my pink satin pillow as "essential for the boot camp," I put the pillow on the ground and the squirrel climbed on it. I walked back to camp carrying my squirrel on my pillow and told the commander I’m out. I thought he would yell, but he just let me go calmly. (Although there was an undercurrent to his voice that implied anyone who can't make it through registration hour is a real pansy.)

Squirrel and I went back to my house and I finished preparing the chicken dinner (which I had sanitarily stored in the fridge before leaving). The End.

Posted by hans1995 at August 4, 2005 09:43 AM | TrackBack