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jeanetic paranoia

[utopian setup]
i'm can't bring "anything" back, but i do want to push schlumpy out and this determination spearheaded a quest for the perfect jeans--a quest which recently dropped me in a retro (see: "used") clothing store where i left with the illusive denim dragon slayed and wrapped neatly in his plastic bodybag.

[introduction of problem]
i haven't had time to wash them and they've been burning a whole in the pockets of my other pants... so i did it. i wore used jeans without washing them. all day long my legs have itched. i have felt spiders crawling into my socks. i check myself for ticks every hour. i've googled diseases/infections/infestations that love denim. and i throw-up a little each time i smell their pugnant vintage aroma. in fact, i may be typing this in my office, pantsless.

[a surprising, yet inevitable resolution]
anyone care to mambo? i need something to wisk my mind off her feet.

Posted by steveh at September 21, 2006 1:01 PM