More fun than Mayonnaise... or at least equally fun... OK, it's less fun, but you're still reading...
More fun than Mayonnaise... or at least equally fun... OK, it's less fun, but you're still reading...
When I used to go scuba diving, it was important to return slowly to the surface and stop at 15 feet (below the surface) for 3 minutes. This allowed your body to re-adjust so you didn't die from air bubbles in your body or too much nitrogen in your tissue. I feel a similar safeguard is necessary for anyone leaving New York (unless it somehow involves a day in Jersey).
I got home last night at 11pm and my apartment was so large, quiet, dark and uncrowded. Just like that, all of the stimulation was gone. As much as I had complained about the hectic pace of NYC, there is a part of me that really misses it.
En route to "Two Boots Pizza" (Underblog's suggestion), I got lost in Little Italy and ended up having a fabulous italian meal. They close Mulberry St to traffic every weekend and it feels like you are on the streets of italy. People everywhere... pasta everywhere... more cannolli than you can find in the entirety of ND. My NY friend commented on how this evening felt like a little vacation for him. After dinner and dessert, we walked one block over and were suddenly in NY. Perhaps tomorrow i will actually make it to Two Boots-- third time's a charm....
If I could walk 10,000 miles, I would do it today while the sun is shining and the weather warm. I took about 100 digital pics today as I wandered across the Brooklyn Bridge and all the way down central park from the Jackie Onassis resevour, through the great field (boring) into the ramble (the best) and ending up at the lake (a close second). The ramble was my fav because it reminded me of the fjord land of Norway. This evening I wandered around Union Square since I hadn't done enough walking earlier. I miss public water fountains and bathrooms.... I think I got a little dehydrated.
There was a group of rollerblading 9-year-old school kids in matching plaid that stopped for water near my bench. After one drink, a little girl screamed, "Yuck. It has an aftertaste of Hobo pee!" Do people still use the word "Hobo"?
It stopped raining today, so I went up the Empire State Building even though the sky was overcast. Poofy clouds always make the best pictures.
Blue Man Group was sold out once again, so I did what any single, metropolitian male would do: ride the "nIsland Ferry" (as the sign said). Following Kelliher (DDS)'s advice, I got directly off the ferry and on to the one headed towards manhattan... which is harder to do than it sounds. The mean ferry-man, started closing the doors when I was about 10 feet away, so I had to run and do an Indiana Jones (sans fedora).
Oh how I yearned for the sweat smell of Subway tonight (the urine kind, not the virgin, un-toasted sandwich shop). I crossed the Brookyln Bridge to take pictures and ended up wandering into a "less desirable" area after dark looking for a train station. I assumed it was safe since the cars were all expensive... but then maybe this was were the drug lords double-parked. As I approached the subway stop, I was never so excited to inhale that distinctively MetroAreaTransit smell....
P.S. A simple reinstall of drivers now allows my friend to connect to the internet via ethernet instead of his smashed USB plug.
I have 6:36 to type this. Friend's computer died horrible death.... to bad there is noone around to fix it. Bought 10 min fro $2.50. Most gone checking my email.
Yesterday, I waited in line for about 4 hours for Spamalot tickets. SPAMTASTIC!!! It was a wonderfully fun show. I loved it and it was worth the wait. I lost my train of thought because a fire truck just drove by, got stuck in traffic near my ear and honked for 30 seconds. 4.19 Better save once so I at least get somehting posted. It was a fun, fun show... "setting musical theatre back 1000 years." Tim Curry stole the show. There were no witches (too expensive). I ate a restaurant under a large nose today ("nobody nose italitan like we know italitan"). On my way out I touched a sculptuer of a female butt as the sign insisted for good luck. The bronzed butt poke paid off and I got front row, center, mezzanine seats. Couldn't have asked for better. Thus ends my trip posts unless his computer gets fixed.
Went to the trade center rubble today. On one hand, it was amazing how big of a space was destroyed. On the other, it's amazing how small of a space has lead to such huge international missions. Space is relative.
Found my dream condo in Battery Park City, so I went in so I could get an apartment tour if they would give me one. The building was actually a Ritz Carlton. They've got good taste. At least it wasn't an old people's home... all my dream buildings in MSP and ABR have housed the elderly.
Ate a burger with Mango Pepper sauce. Very Tasty. I love eating dinner at 9:30pm. Go Blue 9 Burgers!
Today I went to Moma... during the first few floors I was contemplating what the nice weather in central park would be like, but I turned the corner and ran into the Persistance of Memory by Dali... a personal favorite. I was captivated and it was really powerful in person. It was smaller than I thought it would be (8.5x11ish) and I got in trouble for looking too long and too close... so I stopped by it again on my way out.... just as long and just as close. Similarly Starry Night by Van Gogh was AMAZING. I generally don't like it because you see it everywhere from coffee mugs to fuzzy toilet covers... but it's really powerful in person. Kudos to those artists and Moma, a top drawer museum.
This evening I went to Dylan's Candy Bar, a 2 story candy store and bought every flavor of gummy bear I have never tried. I also bought one of every chocolate covered ______ I hadn't tried. None of them made the subway trip home.
Finally, a Peanut Butter Frozen Hot Chocolate from Serendipity. I love the movie and couldn't resist going despite warnings of commercialism and success run amock. AMOCK I SAY! The drink was like a peanut butter cup with straw. Heavenly and sugary. I sipped the drink staring at all the beautiful couples who were obviously there because they girl loved the movie and what it stood for (more than the guy she was with). As for me, I was also there reminscing my first love... each and every sip of her....
Brunch in NYC is a scam. My friend took me to brunch (at the Life Cafe... From Rent) after 1pm and the menu claimed brunch went until 4:30pm. I'm sorry, but after 12pm, you lose all right to use the "br" of breakfast. 1pm is clearly lunch--4:30pm borders on early supper or at least lupper... just ask my grandparents... they have dinner at 4...
Today I road practically every colour train NYC has to offer. While waiting for my subway to arrive, I studied the map as a Scottish Tourist asked me if the green train stopped here. I hoped so since I also wanted the green line and she informed me she has been waiting for a half hour. Frusterated, she walked to another station and I hopped three different lines to get me where I was going. I stepped out of the subway just in time for a downpour and had to watch a play in soggy pants.... which meant I could actually enjoy it without worrying if I could make it until the end without excusing myself to the bathroom.
That afternoon there was a huge stack of cars waiting at a traffic light. One lady was really upset and honking like there was no tomorrow with a cigarette butt hanging out of her mouth. Only later did it strike me that she was also wearing a full clown costume. I can see why many writers like living here.
As the plane started its descent, I could see lots of lights off in the distance and I got really excited until I realized those lights were New Jersey.
I have never seen so many lights before. New York is great... even that first strong wiff of BO.
On the bus ride home last night, a young nurse (with a gaudy black ring on her engagement finger) talked about getting married. They registered at Marshall Fields and the China pattern they liked was marked down to 50%. Since she got 15% off anything she purchased while registering and another 15% off if she opened a Marshall Fields charge card, they decided to just buy the China themselves and register for other things. (“Nobody else would get that kind of deal.”) It was normally $140/place setting, but she was amazed to have paid a paltry $40/place setting.
That got me wondering: were both of the 15% discounts applied to the original price ($140) or the already-discounted-50% off price ($70)? After doing math the rest of the bus trip home, I realized she got a discount of about 72%.... meaning that one of the 15% discounts was applied to the regular price and one was applied to the already-discounted price. That was an answer I wasn't expecting. Just goes to show how fun math can be.
Today was the happiest day of a young boy's life: Arrested Development will be picked up for a third season. Life is looking up.
On the bus, I was surrounded by three people reading and each of them looked like their book. The guy to my left was a portly fellow with a good natured smile, rain gear and a messy briefcase. He was reading a tom clancy boat thriller. I presumed the girl with a disconnected aquamarine/grey plaid shirt was familiar with the rules of Dungeons and Dragons as she read Mysts of Avalon. The lady across from me looked plain and boring... well put together, but completely generic except for the dazzling times-new-roman branding on her white cloth bag that read "LIBRARY". She was reading a book about the Great Depression and how that related to Post Office Murals. We must have a surplus of doctors since it looks like people can do anything for a PhD dissertation these days...
I woke up this morning in the deadly arms of V.E. .... eyes darting around the room.... unable to breathe… looking for my next hit…
It started simple, like most addictions. I religiously watched Arrested Development and made a copy of each episode so I could religiously watch them again. But I needed a bigger hit, so I obsessed over a full length movie... singing theme songs to myself for a month straight. Now, I have progressed even further and can't stop myself from video editing. I've been working for 2 weeks straight, have a list of 5 people to call back, 2 unheard voicemails, a trip that's going unplanned and a co-worker who's been ignored all week.
Thus, I decided I must stop working on this video! I will only allow myself to:
...that way, I will finally be done… so I can devote myself to making the trailer and blooper reel!!
A: [laughter] Oh, no, no.... I actually wash them in the dishwasher twice a week with Lemony Cascade. Any dishsoap will work, but I like the hint of lemon. (I used to put a little Irish Spring in my step, but now believe Cascade is superior). My roommate is more tradition and prefers the handwashing method.
Today I woke up and decided to blog about blogging. As of 09:13AM, the only interesting thing that happened to me was that I sat down on my blue, stained office chair, swiveled towards my computer, put the keyboard on my green pants and started blogging. It's unknown when I will stop blogging, but probably within one paragraph since I don't like reading posts more than 212 words long. I've got better things to do with my time like read CNN, stare blankly at my monitor or safely watch traffic gum-up from my tall, vertical window--a 12th floor slit into the reality which consumes me.
This evening I turned in the final draft of my script for screenwriting. It's indescribable how relieved I feel to have that done. The closest I can come is to tell you a clown car filled with dancing hippos dressed in chain male just rolled up the windows on their VW bus and drove off my shoulders.
The first thing I did after printing my final: eat a kit-kat bar. (As I discussed with Underblog, I usually can't go more than 6-18 hours without a hit of chocolate or sugar). Then I catched a late bus, a real late bus, across campus to turn in my paper.... only to find the classroom lights dimmed and desks arranged in a non-standard grid formation. Since there wasn't a surprise party, I guessed we were supposed to email our finals. At that point it didn't really matter: the hippos were gone and my mouth was relaxed with the fresh dew of warm chocolate.
This next week I may be a little quieter (proving that there is a God to answer all of your prayers).... or my posts will be of lesser quality (yes, that is still possible).
Over 3 years ago, I started making a documentary about undergarments in the style of Christopher Guest. I edited the video together last summer and it was really boring to watch, so I never showed it to anyone. The script and my production notes have been sitting on my desk ever since then... waiting for some kind of miracle fix.
Saturday, I decided enough = enough, so I printed out a new copy of the script and cut, rearranged and revised. Today, I started re-editing the movie with the hope of a New York City premiere when I visit later this summer.... but I'll just be glad to be done with the project. After writing the initial script, I went to goodwill and bought all the old underwear I could find to use as props. I got a strange, perverted look from the clerk, but I didn't think saying "it's for a movie" would help my cause. If I don’t finish, all that humiliation was for naught.
In honor of Underblog's extremely boring dream, I share my dream from last night....
I was in a big city and wanted to try a fancy, new restaurant so I put my name on the list. There were some cute girls waiting, many families of four dressed to the nines, a couple of older gentlemen in brown plaid jackets. I nodded at a few of them, but never spoke. I waited for a few hours even after everyone around me had been seated. I decided I could wait for 5 hours and if I wasn't served by then, I would simply go home (and to bed) without dinner.
While eavesdropping, I heard some partying college kids mention the second half of a map their friends were bringing here tonight. When combined, the map lead to a great hall with records on everything. I got very excited because getting to this hall would be like meeting God.... then my alarm rang. Why do we need to work so early in the morning? I only have time to dream the boring prologue (which is probably related to Waiting For Godot, a personal favorite).
It's a wonder Sarah ever agreed to go out with me. I went to a wedding this weekend and tried to flirt with the attractive woman of honor, but my roommate told me my technique's a little rusty...
We both knew each other, so I started our conversation asking, "What's your name again? You don't look like the type of girl I would remember." It ended with, "I would say it was nice to see you again, but I don't want to lie in God's house." The middle was simply more of the same.
Oh, and if anyone has her number, please forward it to me.... I must have lost it somewhere amongst my dusty pile of books: Dating for Dummies, Idiot's Guide to Dating, How to Love a Woman as much as you Love Star Trek....