Alley Oop: Outgoing Mail

Location: Main Office

Item: Sorting Box for Outgoing Mail

Idea: A Benefactor of Comedic Ideas

Implimentation: Generation Bob

Left Behind Series: the elevator

A co-worker brought his spunky kids into the office. I told them about a game where I take the elevator to the ground floor, run out, drop my mail in the near-by box, and then try to run back and catch the same elevator. They bought my game and the three of us headed down with my electric bill. However, as they ran from the elevator, I pushed the close door button and they never made it back in.

Their dad later explained the scam and I got a priceless display of bitter faces. Dad reported this conversation between his kids while leaving last night....

C: It wasn't very nice of him to trick us on the elevator.
F: No, it wasn't.
C: It's the kind of thing that undermines your confidence.
F: I don't see why a grown man would want to harm our self-esteem.

They've got so much to learn....

25 years of trying...

Today, I attached my first "kîckme" sign to someone's back sans detectión! My initial plan involved the cliché how-ya-doing-backslap, but her thick sweater and engrossed stare were perfect for not-feeling tape.

• Initial Detection: 0
  
• Total Stick Time: 3 minutes
  
• Bonding Adhesive: 5.475 square inches, clear packing tape... anchored to paper with an additional 5.475 square inches.
  
• Eventual method of detection: crunching noise as she sat down, but that was after parading around the 12th floor.
  

<sigh>I love Fridays</sigh>

Caution: Wet Paint

Caution: Wet Paint

I THOUGHT I was being nice... 2 days after the painters left, I removed all the wet paint signs as a public courtesy. But some little snot in the department mocked me.... so I photocopied the wet paint signs and covered her desk. I added another 20 after this picture, but didn't have time to snap another pic.

Personal favorites: the chair sign, the cylindrical chair leg sign and the various hidden throughout her desk (not pictured above).

In unrelated news: I had a busride vision the other day. I am going to a potluck this weekend and on the bus I had the epiphany of bringing bread because I could fire up the old breadmaker. Then, when I got to work, the potluck was already assigned. Mine: bread.... ooooooh....

Garbage

All of the garbage in NYC really bothered me. I simply don't understand why some people toss it around willy-nilly.

When I used to take late night walks in Fargo, I watched a neighbor empty a bunch of garbage from their car into the neighborhood.... so I picked it all up after they had driven off and crammed it all into their mailbox. I think that would be a full time job in NYC.

Chocolate Sniping

As a kid, I learned how to extract a Hershey's Mini from its wrapper without damaging the wrapper. Mr. Goodbar and Krackel bars were always the most popular flavors and my family members were excellent chocolate snipers... always keeping one eye on the chocolate dish... ready to strike when the supply was running low. For example, if the bowl got down to two Krackel bars, I could expect my mom (or anyone else) to immediately eat them regardless of how hungry they were. The sad reality was that we understood we had to eat them or they simply wouldn't be there next time we checked.

As a defense mechanism in this harsh environment, my mom checked the bowl frequently, my sister ate huge handfuls at a time and I learned how to create decoy chocolate bar.... my mother wouldn't eat the last two if she still thought there were four left. These decoys gave me a better chance of eating the final two bars because I was the only one who understood how direly low the candy supply actually was while casually glancing at the bowl. This knowledge gave me an edge on the final chocolate snipe.

Today, I share this tradition of decoy chocolate with the my co-workers. The final two Hershey's Minis in the bowl have been replaced with decoys.