Cover Pages and WTF?



What's Up in the World?
So apparently it’s now dangerous to be alone in the room with 10 third graders, at least in Georgia. Those kids are insane. Plotting to harm or kill their teacher with a knife, just because she scolded one of them for standing on a chair. What is happening to our country? If I were to have gotten scolded as a third grader for standing on my chair, all the kids would have thought it was funny, and so then I would have too. I got in trouble for a lot worse in third grade, but my friends and I never set up a plan involving duct tape, a paper weight, a sponge, and a steak knife to kill the teacher. Who was the leader of their plan anyway, MacGyver, because that is a very random set of murder weapons. And what were these kids going to do with the body afterwards? If this is what we can expect from the next generation, though, we need to think seriously about what we are filling their minds with. How would the idea of torture or murder get into the heads of third graders? My only logical explanation would be the media, but who am I? These kids are facing some serious charges too. What I think needs to be done to them is send them to Iraq. They need to put these ten children in the interrogation room with whoever is being interrogated. Give these kids some tweezers, a hula hoop, some play-doh, a scuba mask, a can of Sprite, and some PEZ dispensers, and they’ll have the person telling you everything you wanted to know and more in no time. But seriously, what is wrong with these kids. I think the moral of the story is that if you are ever in the presence of several third graders and suddenly feel the urge to yell at one of them for standing on a chair, just walk away. It’s your life at stake.