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Oatmeal Chug

I finally got Microsoft Office on my computer yesterday. This was in response to the paper I stayed up until five in the morning writing on Sunday/Monday night. It was supposed to be five pages exactly (with about a quarter of a page leeway allowed in either direction). So, I thought to myself: this will be easy. I could do five pages in a couple of hours.

So I didn't start writing the actual paper until about 8:45 that night. Anyway, I didn't have class until 11:15 the next day.

But I didn't have Word on my computer, which I didn't think was a big deal. If Textedit is good enough for Stephen Hawking, it oughta be good enough for me. But as I was writing, it seemed like progress was going AWFUL slow. Every time I looked at the print preview, it seemed like that fifth page was epochs away.

Finally, after eight hours of working, writing notes, drinking coffee, I was finished. But my printer was (and is) also on the fritz, so I had arranged with Gaterud to have him print it out for me and meet me before class. He informs me that the paper in printed out form is TEN pages. I explain that that's not possible, because Textedit told me it was five pages, and given that there is a standardized system of fonts and character sizes for all computers, and that I had met the required criteria therein when typing this paper of five pages. He handed me the paper. Sure enough I had nine and a half pages of text in my grasp. What the fuck? I explained to my TA what happened, and she said it would be ok if I just cut off half of the paper and handed it in tomorrow. But that's a work-intensive task in and of itself.

Fucking Textedit.