Wayne Caron Memorial Page

I know so much time has passed already but I just heard of Wayne's passing this morning. He was truly instrumental in my last 2 years as an undergrad at the U. We struggled together, not just as a teacher and a student but as a team working toward the same goal. I may not have made it through those times without his constant willingness help me see the true purpose of his teachings. The last time I saw Wayne was at my graduation where HE asked to take a picture with ME! I am grateful to have met him and know that this world is not the same without his compassion and understanding.
Amy Barnett (Mullins) (Eden Prairie, MN)

Posted by Gregg Schacher at 12:44 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

It took this long for me to be able to write about the loss of Wayne and about the greatness of knowing him. Wayne's family said that they enjoyed reading this...so just for them...one more testament of how wonderful Wayne was, how much of an impact he had on his friends and how time does not take away the pain of losing him. Just like many said, he adored you Chris, he talked about you all the time and he was extremely proud of you. I think he was the happiest as your father. After the 35W bridge collapse, Wayne told me that if he was to die tomorrow, he will die as a happy and accomplished man. He added, though, that he has no such plans since he believed that life would bring him many more great things in the years to come. His optimism, acceptance, kindness, caring and certain vulnerabilities made us all more human, they made us all better people, better parents. Wayne's greatest gift would be to know that Chris does well from now on, as he always had faith that he would.

-Ana Memedovich (Roseville, MN)

Posted by Gregg Schacher at 04:51 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I first met Wayne in my very first class in Family Social Science, and transfered quickly into that program. His humor, and spark make the class an incredible experience. I later found myself excited about research, thanks to Wayne. I cannot thank him enough for his patience, his openness, his warmth, his humor, his em-passioned disposition, his help, his guidance, his dreams that he was kind enough to let me and others be a part of and his kind being. Wayne had a presence and spark I will never forget. Thank you Wayne for letting me journey with you for a while and encouraging me to explore my own.

Bridget Pollack-Naber

Posted by Harold Grotevant at 10:12 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I just wanted to say thank you once again to all who attended Wayne's memorial on Friday. The tears and laughter were very healing. Darlyne Bailey, Jan McCulloch, and Bill Doherty did a wonderful job in presenting the service, and hearing memories from the families and faculty and staff reinforced our love. A memory book--a beautiful brown leather album--was presented to Wayne's son Chris. There were also pictures and videos of Wayne playing before and after the gathering.

I can't tell you what it means to have the Family Caregiving Center remain open. This is a beautiful way to keep Wayne in our hearts and memories. Naming it after him is icing on the cake. Thank you for keeping it alive.

Pam Mitman

Posted by Harold Grotevant at 08:25 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Wayne's vast, diverse social network said farewell, corporately, yesterday afternoon. About 150 people jammed the Fireplace Room in McNeal Hall and the crowd overflowed into the hallway, but no one seemed to mind the cramped quarters. Now two months after his untimely and surprising death, his memory still evokes incredible affection and admiration. The stories shared were moving - lots of laughter and lots of tears. But the highlight was Dean Bayley's announcement that the university values the Family Caregiving Center so much, that it is naming it after Wayne. So henceforth it will be the Wayne Caron Family Caregiving Center. The enterprise he struggled so hard in life to sustain has new life, following his death. One of life's bittersweet paradoxes.

Posted by Harold Grotevant at 11:35 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

The Department of Family Social Science, University of Minnesota, invites you to attend a memorial service in celebration of the life and service of Dr. Wayne Caron from 3:00 - 4:30 on Friday, October 26, 2007 in room 274 McNeal Hall, St. Paul campus.

We welcome you to attend this remembrance of our colleague who was such a great teacher and an inspiration, mentor, friend, and caring professional to those who experience Alzheimer's Disease within their families.

We continue to collect your reflections, stories, photos, and comments about Wayne. If you wish to post anything on this Memorial Page, please e-mail your contribution to caron@umn.edu

Posted by Harold Grotevant at 09:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Being a male student in the Family Social Science Department, it was
difficult to find my place. Going to Dr. Caron's lectures was inspiring,
entertaining, and above all intellectual. He showed me pride and honor and
I will always remember him.

Joel Imrie
Family Social Science Graduate 2006
Americorps NCCC Member 2007

Posted by Harold Grotevant at 10:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Wayne. You were a jewel, a gem. When we were teenagers you were already the caretaker, the warm friend, the sweetest of hearts. I was blessed to meet your family. I wish them all strength and gentleness. May all of us find that as time passes our memories will feel less bitter-tainted by your loss-and more sweet. Goodbye my friend.

Posted by Harold Grotevant at 08:16 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I first met Wayne when he came to Hennepin County Domestic Relations as part of a research team studying "Conflict Resolution Counseling," (which evolved into mediation services for separating and divorcing families.) His intelligence and knack for research were immediately clear; but he combined them with humor and warmth that later led to him being hired to provide services to these families.

Wayne became "family" to me when he and my niece married and had a son, Christopher. Although we did not see each other often, as our work was taking us in different directions, we were able to connect a few times every year, either at family or professional events. It was always a warm, enthusiatic reunion, laced with humor and memories of our days at "DR."

The other thing I will always remember about Wayne is his assistance as I attempted to complete my doctorate. I don't know if I still hold the record (I believe my good friend Cara Beames may be in competition!!), but it was a long, slow process for me to decide and then complete the dissertation. Wayne assured me that I could do it and that he could help. He made the research and statistical components clear and even fun to sort out and understand. He relieved my anxiety about a process in which I felt less than adequate, and, again, he always did so with humor and respect.

I am sad to think that I will not be seeing the twinkle in Wayne's eyes as he smiled and laughed and that I will no longer hear his "take" on developments in the field of marriage and family therapy.

Fondly, Karen Irvin

Posted by Harold Grotevant at 08:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I knew Wayne from the very beginning of my time in the Family Social Science department. He interviewed me when I was applying to the MFT program. I thank him for presenting my case to the faculty and got me admitted to the program. Wayne invited me to do co-therapy in his private practice and be invovled in the Family Caregiving Center, when he knew that I needed some clinical hours to complete my master's requirement. I thank him for reaching out his hands to me when help was very much needed. After I completed my hours, I stopped going to the FCC for a period of time. But he continued to check in with me about how I was doing. I thank him for genuinely showing that he cared about me as an international student in the program. When I decided not to TA for him because of personal reason and he needed to find someone else in the last minute, he supported me through my difficult time even if I created inconveniences in his work. I thank him for his understanding and great encouragement.

I may not be able to pay Wayne back directly for what he did for me, but I will definitely carry on what he has taught me about being a daughter, a student, a therapist, and a teacher. His spirit will definitely be living in my heart forever.

Szu-Yi Peng (St. Paul, MN)

Posted by Harold Grotevant at 08:08 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Today as I watched the sweaty, suffering masses run the Twin Cities marathon, I remembered the last time I saw Wayne. He was at the marathon with a group of folks cheering on a woman who was running for her impaired father, and raising funds for Wayne's Caregiving Center programs. I was struck today by both the absence and the presence of Wayne now. Somehow he is always there and yet there is this hole of absence left by his sudden death. The challenge left, for those of us who had the great honor to know him, will be to live in a way that honors his life. One of his childhood friends talked of his constant effort to not just be himself, but to improve. He constantly worked on himself and worked with his families and clients in just this same very caring and thoughtful way. Somehow his legacy has got to be about this unusual characteristic. No more "This is just who I am", rather I am working toward being, deeper, more thoughtful, caring, more loving, more human.....
-Kathryn Mitchell (Saint Paul, MN)

Posted by Gregg Schacher at 11:13 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I had one class this past winter with Prof. Caron and it was one of the most applicable and interesting courses of my life. It was on the topic of aging, and he really challenged my thought on Alzheimer’s, especially since everyone of my family member over 70 have been diagnosed with “dementia.” However, after creating a life plan, I feel much more at ease with the thought of someday not recognizing my loved ones, etc. He really had a way to connect with every student at every age level, and understand how important it is stop think of aging right now, and never lose sight of your goals.

He was a fabulous instructor and a champion for libraries! I thank him for all that he taught me, and wish I could have learned more! My thoughts are with his family, friends and colleagues.

Respectfully, Kristen Mastel

Posted by Gregg Schacher at 10:28 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I just got word, almost 2 months later...but it doesnt make it less shocking.

Its been some time that Ive been in Dr. Caron's classes, but the impression he left is still with me. He was a great professor and one could tell it was definately his passion, teaching and reaching out to others. He had a huge heart and always lended an ear, as so many professors in FSoS do. I feel extremely blessed to have known him and my hope is his family knows how many lives he really did touch.

Posted by Harold Grotevant at 02:33 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Wayne, your loving kindness will always go with me.
Hope

Posted by Gregg Schacher at 05:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I am absolutely shocked to hear of Dr. Caron's passing. He was by far one of the best professors that I have ever had. I took his "Intimate Relations" class my sophmore year when I had no idea what I wanted to major in, and 2 1/2 years later I left the U with a degree in FSoS. His was a brilliant teacher and a wonderful person, and I am a better person for having met him.
My thoughts and prayers are with his family.

K Staehle (Plymouth, MN)

Posted by Gregg Schacher at 09:33 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Like Leonardo da Vinci, Wayne Caron combined the unique talents of the curious scientist and the passionate artist (therapist) to help people paint brighter futures for themselves. He also wasn't afraid to try new hues (methods) to make the pictures more colorful. And for added measure, they were both left-handed!

--by anonymous

Posted by Harold Grotevant at 05:11 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Dr. Caron's passion for teaching was evident during each class. He challenged me to dig deeper, think bigger and write more professionally. I can say without a doubt he is one of the few teachers that challenged me so diligently and to this day, I am grateful. Although the last day I saw Dr. Caron was when I completed my Family Psychology class, his memory has remained with me. I no longer see families and relationships through the same lens, or my own family for that matter. Everyday I am reminded of the truths he revealed to me about family dynamics. I constantly find myself bringing him and his lectures up in conversation. He completely altered the way I will pursue my career. I guess you could say he changed a life. But it appears that he had that effect on many. I am blessed to have known him.

Erika Hess (San Diego, CA)

Posted by Gregg Schacher at 10:24 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Wayne's death is not only shocking, but represents a great loss to our Family Social Science family. I first met Wayne when he was an undergraduate in psychology and I hired him to work on a Divorce Mediation Project at Hennepin County. Since then, I have watched him grow and mature to become a professor in Family Social Science. He was not only a competent family professional, but a caring and compassionate person. He lived a life that is symbolic of giving to others and his spirit will always live on in the work that we do.

David Olson
Professor Emeritus, Family Social Science
President, Life Innovations, Inc.

Posted by Harold Grotevant at 08:07 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Thanks to Faten for letting me know that Wayne has four Podcasts available on iTunes, for free. I have one of them playing right now, and his voice is clear and strong. It feels like he's sitting across the table from me.

The series is called "The Pragmatic Therapist" and there are 4 separate podcasts:
1) BioPsychoSocial Care (30:58)
2) Evidence Based Practice and the REACH Project (27:30)
3) Diary Study of Attachment Style (25:53)
4) Pragmatic Therapist Journal Club #1 (26:01)

To download these podcasts, go to
http://www.iTunes.com

On the upper right hand side, there is a search window --
Type in Wayne Caron, and it will bring up this set of podcasts. When you click on it, it will allow you to download it onto your computer within the iTunes program. These are available for free.

Such a wonderful discovery! A testimonial to Wayne's commitment to teaching, clinical work, outreach, and technology.

Here is Wayne's description of the series. They were apparently recorded in May, 2007.

The Pragmatic Therapist Journal Club reviews the latest research and practice papers from the world of social science and psychotherapy.

In this podcast we review a series of articles that look at biopsychosocial approaches to collaborative health care. The articles we'll discuss are:
• Engel, George L. 1977. The need for a new medical model, Science 196:129-136,
• Mauksch, L. 2005. The Biopsychosocial Model: A View From the Mountains and Across a Lake. Families, Systems, & Health, Vol. 23, No. 4, 436-439
• Lurie, S. 2005 Futility as Applied to the Biopsychosocial Model. Families, Systems, & Health, Vol. 23, No. 1, 432-435
• Scherger, J.E. 2005 The Biopsychosocial Model Is Shrink Wrapped, on the Shelf, Ready to Be Used, but Waiting for a New Process of Care. Families, Systems, & Health, Vol. 23, No. 4, 444-447
•Suchman, L. 2005 The Current State of the Biopsychosocial Approach. Families, Systems, & Health, Vol. 23, No. 4, 450-452
• Stein,H. 2005 It Ain't Necessarily So: The Many Faces of the Biopsychosocial Model. Families, Systems, & Health, Vol. 23, No. 4, 440-443
• Goetz, D.R., Caron, W. (1999). A biopsychosocial model for youth obesity: Consideration of an ecosystemic collaboration. International Journal of Obesity, 23 (Suppl. 2), S58-S64.
• Caron, W., Goetz, D.R. (1998). A biopsychosocial perspective on behavior problems in Alzheimer's disease. Geriatrics, 53 (Suppl. 1), S56-S60.
• Goetz, D.R. Caron, W. 2005. Systemic Healing: An Ecosystemic Biopsychosocial Integration Applied to Clinical Practice in the Care of Sick Children.Clinical Child Psychology and Psychiatry 10, 53-63

Posted by Harold Grotevant at 10:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I am greatly saddened by the news of Dr. Caron's passing. I have had many classes with him, and thought he was so love- filled, inspiring, and young at heart. My thoughts go out to his family and friends, My love is with you as we all keep this strong soul in our hearts, and in our minds that have all bennefited from such a wonderful person,
We will all miss you.

Kysa (Minneapolis, MN)

Posted by Gregg Schacher at 12:53 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

My deepest sympathy goes out to Wayne’s family, friends, former students and
clients. I just found out the tragic news yesterday but wasn’t able to post
comments until today because I was in such deep sorrow. I had emailed him with
a question and when he didn’t reply, I thought he was on vacation. After
classes began, I thought he must have moved, for he always responded promptly.
Wayne always signed his letters by his first name only, for his distinguished
title didn’t go to his head. I don’t know what to add that hasn’t already been
eloquently noted on this blog. If all the people he had helped in some way knew
of his sudden passing, the postings could fill volumes of books. I wish more
people could have known him. Wayne was my therapist many years ago and I
learned so much from him. In addition to his deep compassion, intelligence, and
other skills as a therapist, he also adeptly used NLP and hypnosis to help me
cope and move forward. His pitch and tone were perfect
and his stories were powerful, thus following in the footsteps of Milton
Erickson. I also hope my posting will represent all of those who had Wayne as
their therapist but do not know of his passing.

Wayne, you touched so many lives. I miss you immensely. Your voice will go
with me.

Posted by Gregg Schacher at 12:34 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Dr. Caron was a gifted and important person to our family during a time of intense sorrow and pain. I hope it is some solace for his family to know how much he helped others and touched their lives. I will always remember him in my prayers.

Jean Boos (St. Paul, MN)

Posted by Gregg Schacher at 11:46 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I considered Dr. Caron to be the third most important person in my life, my husband and son being the first and second. We were members of the Saturday morning ALZ support group. He helped me through the difficult decision to place my husband in assisted living. He helped me work through the depression, guilt and sorrow. He helped me to enjoy life as a person in my own right after 16 years of being defined in my mind as a caregiver. He was my friend. He will always be in my heart.

Carole Nimlos (Vadnais Heights, MN)

Posted by Gregg Schacher at 11:45 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I knew Wayne from the days we were at St. Raphael’s. I started there in 7th grade when my family moved to Minnesota. Although it was a long time ago, I think Wayne and I hit it off from the start being a little on the bookish-geek side of things. In 8th grade we co-edited a newsletter “St. Raphael’s Highlights”.

We went to Cooper together graduating in 1974. Again my memory is sketchy but I think it was Wayne who talked me into joining the debate team for a year. We had many discussions about esoteric topics shaping my thoughts and leanings that I have today.

In the fall of 1974, Wayne, Barry Fick, a woman (who’s name escapes me) and I carpooled to the U. Wayne was a psychology major who dreaded the language requirement. I think he took French three times before he finally survived it. After the first year we moved down by campus. I think Wayne lived with John Bloomquist for a year or so. During those next three years we would meet in the basement of Coffman in the morning for coffee. Those mornings brought many more conversations on life, death, and everything in between. Wayne was a much better speller than I am and he would take my important papers and correct the spelling and grammar for me. I still have a folder that he wrote “Tom’s Paper” on. During this same period we both worked at St. Teresa’s Nursing home together which also led to many conversations.

In 1977 I was married and Wayne was our best man. Up until that point he never drove a car. In order to be best man, I forced him to learn to drive and take the test. After that I saw him in the mornings but graduation, kids and jobs came on pretty fast. I didn’t see him for a number of years until I found out he was working as a councilor at Hennepin County. We had lunch and decided to keep in touch. Of course life got in the way again. Then a few years ago, he saw my name on a list at the U where I was working on my own PhD and we had lunch a few times then lost contact again. I see his name on my contact list all the time and think I should send him an email and get together. Now it’s too late.

You always think you will have one more chance to talk to your oldest friends. I was shocked to hear about Wayne. We never really came to a conclusion in our debates about what happens in the end. Now I will just need to ponder without his input.

Tom Kempf

Posted by Gregg Schacher at 11:49 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

As I read the tributes to Wayne, I'm struck in awe by the broadness of his capabilities. With all of those strengths, he could have spent his lifetime stowing up wealth. We are rich indeed because of the path he chose. His generosity to others in their multifaceted needs has a value beyond comprehension. He gave us the map, now we must carry on in his way, difficult as it will be, without our beloved Saturday morning shepherd.

Joyce Reding (Elk River, MN)

Posted by Christopher Gonzalez at 06:55 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Dr. Caron was one of my professors my last year of college. I enjoyed his class tremendously. He really knew how to engage his students, and really truly cared about every one of us. We were blessed to have him in our lives. My thoughts and prayers are with Dr. Caron's family during this difficult time.

Meghan Matteson (Derosier) (Elk River, MN)

Posted by Gregg Schacher at 01:26 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

We didn’t even consider that you would die so early,
Our hearts are broken over the sudden disappearance . . . the loss of you,
Our minds are in shock over the sad reality.
We cry out for you . . . your heart, your smile, your compassion,
If we are quiet and still, will we be able to hear you?
Are there answers in our shared memories?

Nancy (St. Paul, MN)

Posted by Gregg Schacher at 01:25 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I realize that I knew Wayne a long time. We first met when I was consulting with the staff of Hennepin County Domestic Relations, where Wayne was working in the 1970s. My impression was of someone young and enthusiastic, with a good sense of humor; enthusiasm and humor are not easy to maintain when one is working in public agencies with troubled families. Most noticeable to me at that time—and confirmed by all of our later interactions—was Wayne’s insatiable curiosity; he was always eager to find things out and figure things out.

As a student in Family Social Science, that curiosity drove him to be a passionate class participant and eventually an avid researcher. Though he became quite skillful in working with numbers—even as a student, he was a resource for other students struggling with statistics—his top priority was always working with people. He informally assisted me on several projects where our interests overlapped. I know many others can attest to his generosity with his time and energy. But the most special times I had with Wayne were our theoretical discussions. We both loved to deal with abstract conceptualization. Even as a student Wayne was eager to ask difficult questions and to challenge the ideas of others; in my experience, he always did so respectfully and openly.

I had a special interaction with Wayne as a member of his dissertation committee. To be truthful, he wasn’t happy with me at his final oral exam. I insisted that he add to the concluding section of his dissertation before I would give my final approval. We met to talk about it, and, privately, I could tell him my justification very simply. I remember saying something like: “Wayne, you have previously shared with me some excellent critical thoughts and some extremely creative ideas about the potential utility of your research. But they are not in your dissertation. Why didn’t you include them?” The essence of his response was that some sort of modesty prevented him from giving voice to his ideas as a “mere graduate student,” and he thought it better to “play it safe.” I had never thought of Wayne as particularly modest when it came to his own ideas, but I understood. So we had a dialogue and settled on a compromise: He would add just a page or so summarizing a few things he had come up with that were a little more “out there.” Sometime later, he told me he appreciated my pushing him; in the end, it gave him some more confidence to use his doctoral research as a launching pad for future work. That certainly proved to be true in his development of the Family Caregiving Center.

In later years until my recent retirement from the University, Wayne and I enjoyed a collegial relationship typical of life in Family Social Science. We sat next to each other at some faculty meetings, served on various committees together, shared some tutoring of students, and occasionally had a conversation in depth when our limited time allowed it. But it seemed that one or both of us were always hurrying to be someplace, and our interchanges were more abbreviated than either or us would have liked.

I last saw Wayne earlier this summer when I drove past him walking near the St. Paul campus. We waved as I hurried on to do an errand. Now I wish I had stopped for one more conversation.

Posted by Harold Grotevant at 04:23 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Dr. Caron was my professor a year and a half ago. During the last week of
class with him I had something very personal and tragic happen to me. It
caused me to miss my final. I expected to either just miss my final and
suffer the consequences or maybe, if he allowed, retake it as soon as I
could. I called him and to talk about this and I remember his empathy most.
He told me to take care of myself and my family and not to worry about the
final until I was ok. I remember his words "You don't even think about
school right now". I was so touched by this. I went to his office a week or
two later and finally took my last exam with him. He was an incredible
teacher who showed great sensitivity. He didn't seem like just another
professor, he seemed like a man with many great talents, one being
compassion.

Posted by Gregg Schacher at 10:33 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

He taught me
He invested in me
He validated me
He encouraged me
He inspired me
He challenged me
He made me think
And he made me laugh.

Dr. Caron was an exhorter. I greatly enjoyed knowing him and he made a huge impact on my life.

Kris Metzger (Roseville, MN)

Posted by Christopher Gonzalez at 08:48 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I was deeply saddened to hear of Wayne's sudden death. Wayne taught us how to maintain our own personhood during the decline of our loved one's Alzheimer's disease. He taught us to not merely survive but to thrive and grow as families and to accept the disease with dignity and love.

Thank you, Wayne! May your family find peace and comfort in God's promises.

Lois Pearson (Bloomington, MN)

Posted by Christopher Gonzalez at 08:46 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Wayne was a master teacher for many of us and he was also a wonderful colleague in Family Social Science. You could always count on his wisdom and generosity, his creativity and humor, and his note-taking even during the most boring faculty meetings. Wayne will be greatly missed--we have a big hole in Family Social Science's heart. The visitation and funeral were helpful in our healing. My prayers continue for Chris and his family.

Jan Hogan (Lake Elmo, MN)

Posted by Christopher Gonzalez at 03:08 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I would like to share with you some of my thoughts after attending Wayne Caron’s visitation last night. Wayne was a colleague in the Family Social Science Department and we “shared a wall” – in other words I was aware of his comings and goings and when he turned his music on a bit louder, when he sneezed, and when he laughed – which was often. I will miss my work neighbor.
Many of you do not know him – but there were things shared last night in his honor that feels right to share with all, for they tell a story of how to be a friend, colleague and parent. It is in his honor I share these thoughts.

These are some things I heard last night that I want to share with you – they are a bit random in order – but very meaningful to me.

o He stayed connected with people from his youth and young adulthood. He took the time to stay in touch with friends from high school and other friends he had for 20 – 30 years. He took the time to meet weekly and stay in touch. These friends talked about how much they valued this time together. One colleague shared that it was great to finally meet Wayne’s son who he heard about often, but had never met.

o Which brings up another theme of last night – Wayne’s sharing of his pride in his son Chris. People from all walks of his life were happy to finally meet the young man they had heard about – some since shortly after inception! People who were a part of the Family Caregiving Center talked about Wayne sharing about his son in his work with patients and family member of Alzheimer’s. He didn’t compartmentalize his life. All who knew or worked with him knew he was a proud father.

o Wayne also said to many he “divorced well.” His ex-wife Pam facilitated the memory sharing last night and shared how after their divorce they were good friends and their most important goal was to raise Chris together. It made me think about the importance of our work in the Parent’s Forever program.

o Many commented on the fact that clothing was not a priority to Wayne. Many chuckled at his mis-buttoning his shirts and frayed collars and pant hems. But, the overriding message was he was so good at what he did in teaching and therapy – that his clothing was NOT important to them. We often worry about “setting the table- or looking good” – but people will see through to your true self – if you care for those you are with and have quality information to share – folks will overlook much when they feel valued.

o He was not feeling well the last few weeks – his ribs really hurt. A funny story shared was that he could not find ace bandages – but he did have many unused ties…. He had shared with his son and ex-wife that he had bound his rib cage with multiple ties to help ease the pain. We chuckled at both the use of the ties, the image it gave us and it certainly showed how he perceived a “better” use of the ties than wearing them. It also made me think…. We all need to get medical care and take care of ourselves. It we don’t think we are getting the answers we feel comfortable to get additional perspectives.

o Wayne had a great sense of humor – a teaching assistance shared that during an Intimate Relations class (large class) he asked his two TAs to role play as a couple arguing and he would play the role of the therapist. Later on, prior to the role play, he asked the female TA, to reveal – out of the blue during the role play – that she was pregnant with another man’s child. He felt this would be not only funny (especially on the male TA) – but also realistic for things come out during therapy that are not anticipated. Many chuckled. You know we could have tasks we have we repeat often and turn our self on “remote control.” Wayne took pride in his classes that he taught and taught often and tried to make them fresh to him, his TAs and the students in the class.

o Wayne also didn’t just focus on work. He loved popular books and movies and enjoyed enjoying them with friends. People shared, “If I read a new book I wanted to talk to Wayne about it – for I was sure he had already read it and we could discus it.” There is more to our world than work and work topics. Sometimes we are better at our work because of our interests outside of work.

o Wayne saw a need and met it. Helping people who struggled with Alzheimer’s both the patient and the family caregivers was a goal of the Family Caregiving Center. He quietly helped families in McNeal Hall every Saturday. He developed skills in graduate students, volunteers, and family members in understanding the disease and respecting and helping families as they are impacted (the entire family) with this disease – not only the patient.

o He continued to work on self-improvement. His high school friend shared that the Wayne many new didn’t just happen. He openly shared with his friend new techniques he was trying to make himself a better teacher, therapist, and friend. He then reported on how these self-improvement methods were going. How often do we hear – “well that is the way I am – take me as I am.” I sensed that as Wayne saw ways he could improve he consciously took at behaviors to try to change his behavior. He did not try this in his dress through….

Well – there were many other stories, tears, and laughter shared last night – but those I shared above tribute Wayne’s life on being a friend, colleague, and parent.

Best, Trish

Posted by Gregg Schacher at 02:42 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

As a recent graduate of the Family Social Science, I feel honored to have had
Dr. Caron as a professor in three different classes. I wanted to take as
many classes as possible with him. It was in Intimate Relations that I
finally knew what I wanted to study. He had the ability to make even
Research Methods at 8 in the morning an interesting, and fun class. I have
learned so much from him. He was such a kind, and caring man. My heart goes
out to his family and friends.

Posted by Gregg Schacher at 02:35 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Wayne was a man who lived big. He encouraged me to dream big, and then went about helping me learn how to make those big dreams reality. My sorrow is lessened because I know that he lived life fully, and I doubt he would have any regrets. My condolences to all who will miss this marvelous man, as I will.

Memory Grems (Roseville, MN)

Posted by Gregg Schacher at 11:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Please forgive me if this is longwinded. But my time with Wayne was always
filled to the brim with words! And oh, I could say so much more.

Wayne was my graduate advisor, my number one supporter, my mentor; but most
of all, a friend. The first time I met Wayne, it took about 5 emails to get
ahold of him. He cheerfully told me that it was lucky I learned early on
that it was difficult to get in touch with him. I didn't take it personally
once I saw his schedule. We began talking and realized that our mothers
worked together at NorthRidge in New Hope. Soon enough, we were talking
about St. Therese and all of his old stomping grounds. It was an instant
connection. But even then I didn't realize how lucky I was to be his
research assistant.

During my first year of graduate school, I would come to Wayne's office for
our weekly meetings. I was doing data entry for a study he completed over a
decade ago (and boy were we both excited when I finally finished!). I swear
the only reason he needed me is because he didn't want to enter data into a
PC! When we met, he would be sitting in his chair in front of his Mac, of
course. He would lean back in his chair, propping his neck with his folded
hands, and casually ask me how it was going. I, of course, assumed he was
asking about my research progress. After all, that is what professors want
to hear about, or so I thought. As I started speaking, he would gently
interrupt me, reach his hand out over the table, and repeat himself - "no, I
mean how is it going?" He was talking about life. He reminded me to take
time to reflect, and always knew when I needed it most. Looking back, he
probably knew me better than anyone else at school that first year. I felt
so safe and secure around him; he helped me develop my "academic voice" and
taught me how to stop doubting myself. But most of all, he had faith in me.
Unwavering, unabashed, faith. He was the type of teacher who helped me
answer the big questions myself rather than answering them for me.

During these weekly "therapy sessions", as we jokingly called them, Wayne
would often share memories of his own graduate experience with me. He
fondly recalled how one of his professors would always tell students they
were the next "greats" of family science. For example, "you are the next
Reuben Hill! David Olson! Pauline Boss!" All Minnesota greats, of course. He
told me this story to show me that I was a student being formed and taught
in the footsteps of these great leaders in family science. That the future
had no limits. Wayne, I will forever "fill-in-the-blank" with your name -
you are one of the "greats" and I wish I had the chance to tell you that. I
feel honored to have spent such time with you. You constantly reminded me,
by example and through words, why what we do is important. When I struggled,
you shared with me your sense of purpose. When I celebrated, you were
cheering me on with laughter and applause! And you challenged me. It wasn't
always just fun and games. We weren't afraid to be honest with each other,
and that meant that we sometimes disagreed. But one thing we did agree on
was that we loved that about our relationship. I think Wayne respected me
because I didn't just give in and agree with him - even when he was right
and I knew it! But in retrospect, it just showed how safe I felt with him,
to throw out anything and get feedback. How I wish I had written every word
down!

I know Wayne is somewhere looking down on us, just fuming that his death was
so untimely. I feel so comforted thinking of it how Pam described during
memory sharing - that Wayne is off exploring his new world - so true! But he
would be so frustrated about the unfinished work he had left to complete,
the people he left behind - that's how he was, always concerned about
others. I remember the first time I came to the Caregiving Center. It was
then I realized that he was equally important to others as he was to me. It
will never cease to amaze me how one person could be so much to so many. But
I suppose that is what is so wonderful about the life of a teacher - his
purpose and energy will go on and on through all of the lives that he
touched. None of our work will go unfinished, Wayne!

To Chris: I, as so many others already have, want to remind you that you
were Wayne's pride and joy. How often he told me stories of you and your
adventures during your first year of college. Never was his face so animated
and bright as when he spoke of you! He was so proud to be your father. To
Ruth, Pam, and all of Wayne's family: I feel lucky to have shared in this
wonderful man's life. Thank you for sharing him with us.

Libby Plowman

Posted by Gregg Schacher at 10:54 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Like many others, I continue to sit in disbelief as I think about Wayne's
death. I am in my office, fairly late on Wednesday night, a time when
normally Wayne would be in the office next door to me. I have known Wayne
for over 25 years, first as a fellow graduate student and most recently as
colleagues in the Family Social Science department. I have been thinking
about what I have loved about Wayne: his irreverent humor, his strong
opinions, his ability to connect with so many people irregardless of
background, his dedication to his family, his dedication to his work, his
ability to make a good story out of almost any situation.

I have realized how I have come to depend on Wayne in so many ways. Need a
perspective on university politics? Talk to Wayne. Need an obscure
reference that no one else seems to know? Talk to Wayne. Need support with
regards to a student issue? Talk to Wayne. Need someone to talk to about
some small event from 27 years ago? Talk to Wayne. Need to have someone
re-frame the current situation in a positive way? Talk to Wayne.

It is hard to imagine our community without Wayne. He is, and will continue
to be, missed. I feel very lucky to have known him.

Cynthia Meyer

Posted by Gregg Schacher at 10:51 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

What an inspirational professor! I recommended his class to everyone I knew, and this was because of him. He truly was a "friend" to his students as well as a teacher.

Jenna J (Minneapolis, MN)

Posted by Christopher Gonzalez at 10:19 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

My sympathy to the family and friends of Dr. Caron. It has been a few years ago now - but Dr. Caron counseled me - as my Mother has dementia - He was of great help to me. He was a wonderful person - and I am truly sorry for your loss!

Beth Olson (Minnetonka, MN)

Posted by Christopher Gonzalez at 10:19 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Bonnie and I were very shocked and saddened to learn of Wayne's death. Our thoughts and prayers go out to his family and friends.

Doug Williams (Robbinsdale, MN)

Posted by Christopher Gonzalez at 10:18 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Wayne left an indelible imprint on my life. He eased my difficult transition from CA to MN. He was the first mental health professional from MN to welcome and support me into starting over again in the Twin Cities. He supported me with his incredible insight, intuition, warmth, and humor. He was a remarkable man. Thank you Wayne.

Mary Louise Gooch (Minneapolis, MN)

Posted by Christopher Gonzalez at 10:18 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Dr. Caron was an amazing and incredibly inspiring professor. I still find myself quoting him on a daily basis. He taught me so much, not only course material but so much about myself as well. I will miss his energy, sense of humor and genuine care and respect for his students. My thoughts are with his family. He will be missed.

Chris Ackerman (St. Paul, MN)

Posted by Christopher Gonzalez at 10:17 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Wayne was my cousin-back in the early 1980's I was going thru a bad divorce and needed the help of hennepin county family services for a custody battle. Wayne was working in that department at that time and was there to guide me thru the system. I was so young and scared and I remember feeling safer knowing Wayne was there to explain the system and introduce me to the people who would be helping me. I attending his memorial service tonight-what a tribute to him and the life he made for himself. He certainly touched the hearts of many and will be missed by all the people who knew and loved him. I wish I could have known him better. My thoughts and prayers are with all of you who knew and loved Wayne.

Jeanine Steffens (Maple Grove, MN)

Posted by Christopher Gonzalez at 10:16 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

want to express my deepest Condolences to Dr. Caron's family. He was a wonderful a teacher and he will be greatly missed.
Sahro Mohamud

Sahro Mohamud (AppleValley, MN)

Posted by Christopher Gonzalez at 10:15 PM |