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A Message From Holly C.

I’ve spent the last couple of days reading and
re-reading the comments that students, faculty,
community members and family members have logged in
Wayne’s guest book. Each morning I decide to read the
notes and comments once again, hoping that this time I
won’t feel quite as angry as I did the last time. I’ve
been trying to diagnose this anger that is building
inside of me – something that I’m sure Wayne would
have pushed me to do.

This is what I’ve come up with, though I’m sure
there’s still quite a bit of digging to do. The
reason that the anger isn’t subsiding, or
transitioning to grief, is that I’m angry for multiple
reasons.

First, I’m angry for the greater good. The education
community lost a great man long before he was done
contributing to the fields of research, family, and
health. He was so committed to improving the lives of
Alzheimer’s patients, and the lives of the families
that were impacted by this terrible disease. I’m
angry that we now have a gap to fill – one that he
anxiously and excitedly sat in.

Second, I’m angry for him. He was so proud of where
he had been and who he had become; so proud of his
work and his path; so proud of the knowledge that he
had helped so many in so many different ways. I’m
angry that he won’t have the chance to revel his many
life and career accomplishments. I’m angry that God
took him two seconds before he saw evidence of yet
another one of his accomplishments.

Third, I’m angry for myself. The short tributes that
are included in his guest book describe a man that was
incredibly dynamic and gifted. I’m angry that I only
knew one facet of his character. I’m angry that I
didn’t get the chance to see all of the other pieces
as well. I’m angry that I didn’t take the time to
tell him how much he contributed to my graduate
experience and my personal growth.

I suppose that one day soon, I will wake up and read
the sentiments of my fellow students and will realize
that grief and sadness have settled into the space
that anger now sits. Until then, I hope my anger
reminds me to take the time to see all the greatness
in the people standing right in front of me, and to
express my appreciation to them for the greatness that
they share with me.

My heart is with all of you.
Holly Carmichael