Vegetable Talks
Dear Lima Bean,
Please, crawl back into whatever hole you came out of in the filthy ground. It's where you belong. I hate to say it, but no one in their right mind enjoys your chalky taste and off-green color.
Sincerely,
Leah
Dear UDS,
Please, stop mixing in Lima beans with the rest of your vegetable blends. I've already wasted precious minutes of my life separating out the Lima beans from the edible vegetables. It would make your student much happier: become a Lima bean-free campus!
Sincerely,
Leah
Dear Leah,
Do you actually think I enjoy being mixed in with all the common vegetable and having to sit under heat lamps for hours, just to have picky students like you come and poke me with a fork, only to scrape me off? Believe me, I would much rather be back on the plant with my family. Please, think a little bit before you insult me next time.
Sincerely,
L. Ima Bean
Comments
Very cute and funny without being trite. Reminded me a little of poems by William Carlos Williams and Gertrude Stein (though much more direct than she is in Tender Buttons). Re: Thanksgiving, I think you're right about the strange Americaness of the holiday. 5/5
Posted by: r. | February 8, 2009 2:22 PM