Who's the Crazy One?
Tell you what?
Tell me why you're sitting in this chair.
Wouldn't it be better if you told me that?
Why do you say that?
Well it's not like I'm voluntarily sitting here.
Sure you are, I didn't see anyone pull you into the room.
That's because your back was turned. I was literally pushed in here by your receptionist.
And how did you get in to see my receptionist?
My mother drove me.
Hmm, it does seem like you don't want to be here. Why don't you tell me why your mother brought you here.
Is that really any of your business?
The longer you sit here, the more I charge. The more I charge, the less money your mother has to spend on you.
Fine. I'm here because she wants me to end up a fat ass like her.
I've seen your mother, she isn't a "fat ass."
You haven't seen her in a bathing suit.
Why are you here Ella?
I already TOLD you. My mother wants me to become a fat ass like her.
And why would she be worried about that?
Because I have a good body.
You don't think your mother does?
No, I already told you that too. Her thighs rub together when she walks, her arms jiggle. It's disgusting.
You do realize your mother has had three children, and is at a perfectly healthy weight?
Fuck perfectly healthy. Just because the "healthy" weight has been raised doesn't mean I need to weigh it.
Why do you say the "healthy" weigh has been raised?
50 years ago, the average housewife weighed 120 lbs, now she weighs 163 lbs. Fucking McDonald's.
But you don't even weigh 120 lbs.
I'm not an average housewife, either.
Ella, you weigh 98 lbs and you're 20 years old. Don't you think this is a little strange?
Strange today yes, because everyone else in the world seems to need cheesecake to survive.
Have you gotten your period yet?
Why does it matter to you? Are you some child molester?
The average girl has her first period between the ages of ten and sixteen.
I'm only four years late.
Do you realize what you just said?
Maybe it's because I'm not fat like the entire rest of the world.
What do you eat to keep yourself "not fat?"
I eat healthy foods. Salads, fish, and water.
You eat healthful foods, not healthy. That dead fish is not healthy.
And you're supposed to be helping me how?
So you've admitted you have a problem.
No, I do not have a problem. I eat health-fricken-ful foods and I exercise. What's wrong with that?
How many healthful foods do you eat in a day.
Are you hungry right now?
Are you always hungry?
Why don't you eat?
I'm not going to become a fat ass.
Do you exercise everyday?
Four to five hours.
Don't you think that's a bit excessive?
Don't you think a McDonald's Value Meal with 1340 Calories is a bit excessive?
The normal person doesn't eat McDonald's every day. It should only be 1-2 times per month.
And does anyone actually listen to that?
Just not you?
I counted four McDonald's bags in the dumpster on the way in.
What were you doing in my dumpster?!
Pulling myself up into it and back out of it.
You're climbing into dumpster. And you think you're healthy?
I'm not eating the grease left over by your McDonald's, so yes.
Are you on a diet now?
I thought you said you were happy with your weight?
No, I'm still to fat.
What is your goal weight?
How can you diet without a goal.
Easy. You just keep going. It becomes natural after a while.
And your knees and elbows stretching your skin, that's natural?
It's better than not being able to find them through all the fat. You think I'm weight obsessed, don't you?
You know exactly how many Calories are in a McDonald's Value Meal.
So I can better avoid them.
Have you seen very old pictures of women?
And I would care because?
Because it may give you a reference point about what is considered beautiful.
I know what is beautiful. It's every airbrushed magazine cover.
But you can't be airbrushed in real life.
I know, so I need to be thin enough to where I don't need to be.
Google "The Birth of Venus"
And how is the 2nd planet relevant to this conversation?
It's not the 2nd planet. It's an old painting of a beautiful woman.
Why would I care about a painting?
Think of it as a Cosmo cover in 1492. It's real beauty.
Fine. Can I go now?
Yes, I suppose. Our time is up. I trust I'll see you on Thursday?
I'll be here with your Venus picture.