Remy Blog Response

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When Melody and Remy asked us who we felt we could identify with in the sex scene in "Boys Don't Cry" I thought to myself that that deserved a little bit of thought in order for me to answer honestly. While biking home I quickly realized that no one single part of that question, nor the questions that can stem from it, deserves any bit of though at all. As a straight male, of course Im going to identify with Brandon's character! Despite the fact that Brandon was, as Remy would have said, assigned to the female sex at birth, the fact of the matter is is that Brandon is preforming sex in such a way (putting penis in vagina) that I myself would with a straight female, the same as I would. If I were to sit down with the real Brandon and a straight female friend, and asked him who he would identify with as far as sexual activity goes with another woman, he would identify with me. It would be a mutual understanding in the exact same way as if I were to have this discussion with any one of my straight male friends. Basically, despite Brandon's assigned birth sex and not having a real penis, Brandon is a man. Furthermore, I feel like, and this may sound ignorant, that every single person has an answer to that question. How can you not identify with one of them, not just in sexual activity with another person, but in life in general?
Also, while Remy was explaining the triangle extravaganza of SEX, GENDER, and SEXUALITY I felt extremely overwhelmed. That feeling was because I knew right away where I fit in in that triangle. However that triangle may or may not deserve a lot of thought for other people. Identifying where you fit in in that triangle, if you are not simply straight gay, or lesbian could be pretty overwhelming. I think? Being what you want in opposition to what you really are or are assigned to, is a stressful thought for me. At what point does someone throw up their arms, says who gives a shit about terminology, and does what they want as the person they want to be? Or is there a certain level of comfort in fitting into a category? Also part of me wonders why all the terminology even exists at all. I mean I know why, but its one of those deals where in the perfect world they wouldn't be needed because people that "fit" into those categories would be portrayed in society as what they truly are, completely normal, just the same as how the majority of society views heterosexuality. Sometimes I hate the world.
Super cool class today!

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This is wonderful. I agree with the overwhelming part of trying to define yourself, and trying to categorize emotions and desires so that we can communicate who we are.... what a difficult/scary/strange thing to do. A lot of it has to do with how we are wired I think.. we feel a need to understand and "make sense" of things, people and ideas so we must label them. When it becomes visible that gender/sex/sexuality are fuzzy concepts and do not adhere to one set of meanings... it jumbles my brain and I can't really think about it too hard or I might turn to mush.

I know right?! When I get that overwhelming feeling though and I cant quite figure out how to make sense of it, thats when I realize that I DONT NEED to make sense of other people. I don't think that we need to figure out all the interworking of what it means to be straight because thats what we are told is normal. But I very much truly believe that any "combo" so to speak of the triangle is just as normal, so therefore why do I need to make sense of it! Thats what I mean by the whole who gives a shit deal.

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This page contains a single entry by Danny Gravier published on October 20, 2011 10:30 AM.

Transgender discussion was the previous entry in this blog.

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