November 25, 2004

The First Rehearsal

How can I help out with a show like this, when I don't understand the reason behind why we're doing it? I have to get over my own problems first... I'm still bummed because we're not doing Our Country's Good. I fell in love with the thought of doing that play, doing something with meaning. That's what I'm worried about most, I guess, that it won't mean anything. I was so excited to be in this class, where everyone is so perceptive that we actually could have underlying themes that would be picked up on. But I feel like we're doing nothing like that. People go to the theatre to look for something they don't see every day. But we're not exactly giving it to them, are we? Not going to be able to show the full extent of what we could. I don't think we're pushing the limits here, I think we're just playing around so we don't have to push the limits in an important and meaningful way. What we're doing is just playing, but to me it seems like we're doing the kind of theatre I've alwats done. And in this class, we've leaerned everything to contradict just 'putting on theatre' and now I know that theatre should have meaning. That's the point of theatre. Everything you do in theatre, you should have an underlying meaning for it, you have to have a reason for doing it. You can't just do stuff because it's funny or because it looks cool. You just can't.

Anyway, about our group: I'm a bit worried about Ben, because he really hasn't been around much. Another problem with doing theatre in a class group rather than a troupe - you can't guarantee so much that people are going to be able to get together. It seems to me like Natalie has taken on some of the organization of the show - she's thinking about how it's going to fit together, how we're going to get it done. I didn't even know Marla's the stage manager until Monday, yeah, I'm concerned about our lack of cohesiveness, beacuse no one knows exactly what we're doing.

And I think it must be getting towards the end of the semester, because tempers are getting high and relationships are strained. For the first time ever, TK is getting on my nerves. I just don't think that as a group, we have that cohesive bond and shared vision that we should if we're going to be doing such a collaborative project. But, again, I need to get over my own issues, because if I were the director, I know I'd be dictating towards my own vision, which is so clear to me. And since that's not gonna happen, I need to give up on my ideas, and then I need to open myself up to other ideas. Right now, I kinda hate our project. That's what's holding me back. My resentment over what we're doing. How do I get myself over that? Old love dies hard, I guess.

Posted by holm0567 at November 25, 2004 10:23 AM