Support is Bad?

I can totally understand that there needs to be a balance between invisible and visible support. Sometimes it is important that your partner notices the kind things you do for them, but like the article said, you don't want to go too far and make your partner feel useless. That is why invisible support is needed. I really love doing little things for my boyfriend that I know will make him happy. I also really like doing it secretly, except after awhile, I want him to notice. So, I can definitely relate to John Lutz's problem with subtly and wanting recognition. I don't really think that is a problem that only men have, though I might agree that it is more prominent for them.
I agree that support is not always helpful. But I wouldn't have guessed that being supportive could reduce trust in a relationship or that getting support is often associated as being destructive rather helpful more times than not. That's a sad thought! I found the Great Britain study that showed how perceived support decreased mortality risk while actual support increased mortality risk to be interesting. It is good to know that thinking about your supportive partner can be beneficial, yet depressing that actually getting help from them tends to be harmful. I think it is odd reading about how support either does no good or harms the recipient when I find support to be very comforting, and seek it out in times of stress. With this said, I can understand that advice giving might not be the most effective way of showing support. It could easily come off as offensive or dumbing down the recipient. People are too proud sometimes.
This article seems to oppose the last one we read. The previous one said that when we thought about our partner (our support) we would conserve energy for future tasks (not stress out) and rely on them. It also said that this shows a relationship that is more committed. This week's article says that students who received support prior to a public speech freaked out, and those who didn't receive support were less anxious. I think these two ideas contradict each other. I hope that I am not one of the people causing higher mortality rates because of the support I try to give!