Just how much do divorces impact our children?

I've never heard of the concept that children are better off being raised by a parent of the same sex when a divorce occurs. Many factors do come into play of course. For example, the parent who has more time to raise a child might be considered more fit. If one parent is immature and the other isn't, that could also affect the child. While a child could probably relate more to a parent of the same sex, one must remember that there are other factors in making the decision of who should raise a child.

Unfortunately, I have had gone through the divorce of my own parents. I was in 6th grade just starting middle school and many of those side effects did seem to take over me. I felt that a lot of the problem was my fault, even though, today, I look at the situation and completely realize it had nothing to do with me. To comment on shame004's comment, I feel like that idea is spot on. I am not sure if it is better for the child of the same sex to be raised by the parent of that sex if there is a better guardian for the child.

I have not been in this situation, but can imagine how tough it would be on the child. I've heard stories of how parents try to "buy" the children's love, in hopes that they would want to spend more time with him or her. I wonder how this tactic affects children. Does they become more apt to think everything will go their way in life, or do they become frustrated at the notion of their parents trying too hard to shower them with gifts?

The correlation you found between the same gender parent and the ability for the child to succeed was very interesting. The reason I found this so interesting is because I myself have noticed this correlation in some of the people I have met throughout my life, but wonder what causes this.

It's amazing to hear that over half of the children in the US will experience divorce of their parents. I fortunately haven't experienced that situation, but two families that I grew up with in my neighborhood are now experience divorce. I grew up with with their kids and I can tell that its been very hard on them. I just wonder why our divorce rate today is so high?

The fact that it's considered to be a minority to have your parents still together is frightening. It poses much thought for the future. How will future generations look in the statistics of marriage? Will the numbers of divorce continue to rise or will we learn from the mistakes of the generation before us? I think this can teach our generation a lesson to be more cautious and wise in our decision to marry.

This is a very interesting post based on the outcomes of the children. I am also from a split parent household with both boys and girls as my siblings. I had the opportunity to be raised by both after the divorce and I can understand some of the reasons why same sex parent would be better. Also, some of the affects of us kids related to what was said above.

I find these findings quite interesting and the make sense as a small child is very egocentric as the book said and tend to make very small concrete connections. However what you did not mention in your post was the long-term effects. Once again the book (pg 391) says that most children after a divorce have no long-term emotional damage. But the in between coping difference brought up in your article gives a perspective before the long-term.

You pose a few interesting arguments in your blog, one which I found to be quite interesting: the idea that a child who witnesses a divorce is better off being raised by the parent of their same sex. As a few other readers have pointed out, I think there are many other factors involved in deciding which parent should/should not be responsible for raising the children. My parents are still married to one another so I cannot comment personally on this matter; however, I know of many individuals who live in split-parent families. In fact, I know a middle school boy who watched his parents go through a divorce at a very young age. Although he still loves his father and spends time with him as well, this boy prefers to spend time with his mother and her side of the family. His biological father has never really been much of a "father-figure" in the boy's life, which leads to some resentment of the boy's father, naturally. This boy has however received fatherly advice from his uncles and cousins, who have all stepped in to make up for things.
Your article is well-researched and all, however I do feel the researchers were a bit misconstrued in assuming that children should be raised by the parent of the same sex.

I found your blog to be very interesting being that, my parents divorced when I was an infant. I would have to disagree with our book when it states that children of divorced parents to not have any long term affects. Personally not being able to trust people because of not having my parents together is something that I displayed when I was little and to this day I still cannot trust people, because of the fear of them leaving my life.
I also find it quite appealing that it is said best for the child to be raised by the same sex parent. I would have to agree with that completely, because the same sex parent will be able to understand you better and knows how to deal with your feelings since they were young at one point too.

This is an interesting topic because people may have completely different views on the affects it has on the children. I remember reading in chapter 10 that in most cases when a child shows aggressive behavior it isn't always because of the divorce, but because the child had shown signs of aggression in earlier parts of his/her life. So children may use a divorce as an excuse to act up. I have been fortunate to have my parents still together so I don't know that actual feeling of going through a divorce situation. Because of that I don't take sides on the situation and I understand studies explaining both for and against divorces effecting children.