Relationships: how we meet our better half

It's funny that three simple concepts (proximity, similarity, and reciprocity) could lead to a relationship. Perhaps this could be useful to all those people who insist on reading relationship self-help books, haha.

This makes me wonder the role of dating websites in these elements. I know they are proven to be successful, probably because they appeal to similarity, but isn't the concept of proximity taken out in a sense?

I find it interesting that proximity and similarity are two of the main relationship factors and in some respect they are eliminated through online dating and competitions such as the bachelorette. In some respects it makes me wonder how important these traits are, but clearly in other situations they can play an important role.

I love the shows the bachelorette and bachelor, both show are very dramatic. But do you really think someone can find their potential wife in 2-3 months? Yes there is proximity, similarity, and reciprocity but do you really know a person in 3 months. I think that part is a little sketchy.

Although proximity, similarity and reciprocity are all three main factors in finding a mate, i feel like we often go against these factors. People who seem like opposites date all the time (opposites attract) and so I think that the similarity part may not always be true. Sometimes people are attracted to people who fulfill parts of them that they don't have. Also reciprocity isn't always true since there are cases where guys or girls will chase someone that they want, no matter how much the other person shows zero interest (think of the nerd on a TV show). I think proximity is more necessary than any of the three because this is how we really get to know people.

Something I have found to affect what one wants in a potential partner is, ironically, their past partner. For example, when someone dates a girl who is extremely needy, if he finds he dislikes this trait he will likely switch to more of an independent girl in his next relationship if he can help it. These individual desires in significant others is overlooked by the textbook.

I love this show! I watch it religiously (can't wait for Emily Maynard's show!). It's very true that proximity, reciprocity, and similarity are all part of a relationship, but I have to agree with a lot of the comments above. I don't believe you can find love on television (people act differently), in places where you wouldn't be in reality (Ex. St. Lucia), and going on a first date that's full of adrenaline. In fact, all of these things are what makes it "feel" like people on that show are in love.

I love that show because it is so odd to me that someone can pick the person they want to be with for the rest of their life in just a couple months. I do see how all of those concepts work into the show and I never really looked at it that way before. I think it is funny how the things we learn in class are so easily applicable to so many of the popular shows we watch these days.

I never thought of the bachelor or the bachelorette as cases for Psychology but I suppose reciprocity, similarity, and proximity do apply. I myself am in a relationship and find all these factors played a major role in how i fell for my girlfriend. We had newly moved into the same dorm so we were close, proximity played a role. As we began to talk to each other we found we had a lot in common especially our family and their ethnicity. In terms of reciprocity it was clear we both liked each other. And there you go my relationship story for everyone to see ha.

I never really got in to the bachelor or bachelorette shows. I had nothing against them, it just seemed kind of lame to be. I think I heard only one or two relationships actually worked out in the long run. I do agree that because of proximity people find each other attractive. I also think reciprocity i a factor because if you have several people attracted to you, you will probably like them as well. I think another factor is that people think they are supposed to fall in love on this show and it is a game to see who "wins." In the end i thought it was really interesting how you were able to tie this show into psychology terms and I would have to agree with the connections you made.

These shows are prime examples of how you can get two people to like each other by putting them in the best position to fall for one another. What I would be interested in would to look at the rate of how long they actually stay together after the show ends.