Love is portrayed as this unstoppable, ever-coveted force that only the truly lucky can find. There's the typical story of boy meets girl which grows into something much more. A dramatic beach scene unfolds where the couple runs towards each other in slow motion and pull themselves into an embrace which leads to a passionate kiss just as the sun is setting. An elaborate plan unwinds as a man goes down on a knee and you can only hear a soft gasp as his lover sets her eyes on the glittering diamond ring, followed by a chorus of excitement, tears, and infinite joy. These are the types of images we pull up when we think of love. However, is it possible that this highly publicized emotion actually falls short of its expectations?
A study was done by Hatfield on a group of college students, where they paired together students based on personality, attitude and interest measures. Their objective was to see which variables played a part to predict whether the partners were interested in a second date. It was found that, the only factor that significantly predicted attraction was the level of physical attractiveness as rated by their partners (Hatfield et at., 1966). Preferences also seem to vary based on gender as well. David Buss conducted a study which found that men consistently put more weight on looks than women, and also prefer women that are younger. Women, however, are found to prefer those with a high level of financial resources and social status. Women also seem to be pickier, and pursue a mating strategy that maximizes the changes that the man they mate with will provide well for their offspring.
It seems that this one universal concept of love is actually made up of a series of terms and conditions. Choosing a partner based off of a list of preferences and future security shatters the illusion of being destined to meet your soul mate. So at what point does the line blur between personal preference and love?
What is Love? Baby don't hurt me.
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I would have to say I agree with the statements above. But I hope and seem to believe that we choose a mate or find love based on a mixture of all those characteristics, the technical ones, like could they support a family and are they smart but also things like looks and perhaps spontaneity.
I think this topic is very interesting for the fact o the differences between men and women. I feel that these are consistent though because I feel that most. men do place a great weight on appearance. But, I think any of these characteristics can go both ways and can't really be generalized between the sexes.
Since learning about this in class I've pondered this as well. I feel like it goes along the same controversial line as the notion that free-will is nonexistent. The fact that true love could only be a pop culture creation is almost as detrimental as learning that we might not have full control over what we do. I do agree with your statements above and it's something I'd love to learn more about
I really like this blog post because it hits some key aspects to love and marriage. A lot of marriages end because people are attracted just physically and don't have that emotional connection that is necessary. I have also noticed that the factors between males and females are very different for consideration of partners. You often see much more attractive females with worse looking men, who are financially stable or have a better heart. Whereas you don't often find good looking men with worse looking women, because it matters more to men.
Love the title and the song! I think you make a very interesting point. Maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic and love watching romantic comedy but I don't want to believe the things you've written. I want to believe that when you love someone it's not because of their social status or how attractive they are but because of the bond you share and their personality.
I think many people choose their partners based on factors other than love. I think some people may feel that they are “getting old” and should be married and so they marry someone who they undoubtedly have feelings for, but perhaps is not the love of their lives. I think that some people marry for money. Financial security is one huge reason why people marry. We see it all the time on television and in the media. People marry a celebrity and within a few years there is a divorce and huge financial settlement.
I loved the imagery in this blog it was so cheesy (in a good way) and right on point for typical cliches! It is hard to find the line between love and what we think will provide us with the 'best' mate sometimes but I also think this is slightly short-term. At first, this is the only thing that is thought of when meeting someone who is a potential partner. But when one can look past all that and just give someone a chance, I think this is when true romance and love comes into play.
First love (ha!) the title.
Second a lot is also going on on a biological level, lots of chemicals and pheromones goin' like crazy. But I like to think humans are a lot more complicated than mating strategies and smells. We also have this HUGE brain which allows us to think about and feel complex emotions. It's what makes the world so insanely diverse...and of course you're just talking about heterosexual romantic relationships. While love itself has several other complex possibilities..between family, friends, and even pets. While the idea of a"soulmate" starts to delve into other worldly territory....I think it's at least safe to say that love is much more than a series of terms and conditions and even preferences. There's a lot goin' on. ;)