vang0993: May 2012 Archives

On page 496 in our text book, we read about social comparisons and the question "where do I stand?" The text books tells us that by comparing ourselves with those around us, it "helps us to understand ourselves and our social worlds better." Our text book also tells us that there are two different types of social comparisons that we as people do. There is the upward social comparison where we compare ourselves to those who are "above" or "superior" to us in some way. When we compare ourselves in this way though, we often think that if they are able to achieve something really good then we will be able to do the same too. The other way is downward social comparison, we compare ourselves to those who we think are less than us or "inferior" to us. When we meet people who make us feel inferior to them though, we as people often tend to think that they have some exceptional talent and that's why they are able to do what they do.

Personally, I do the upward social comparison a lot. I have a tendency to compare myself to others who are smarter or more successful but instead of letting that discourage me, I use it to motivate myself to be better and to do better. I stop myself from making excuses like "oh, they're just naturally gifted and I'm not." Because saying "I can't" about yourself is just an excuse for yourself. All things are possible if you set your mind to it. But although comparing yourself to others may help to motivate you, it can also hurt you because that may cause you to overlook your self worth, thinking that you aren't good enough or you can't do what those other people are doing. So instead of asking "where do I stand in relation to someone else," ask "where do I stand in relation to where I hope to be."

A concept of psychology that in ten years I'll hopefully still remember is that though we as individuals think we are strong willed or strong minded and will always do our best to stand up for what we believe in, we are incredibly susceptible to conformity as well. Like the people in the examples we saw in discussion, even though we think that we can stand strong in what we believe in, just like them, there is a very good chance that we will falter and eventually give into conformity when we are the only ones that hold our beliefs or opinions. So we must remember that even when it seems like we are the only ones holding onto our beliefs or our values and most people are against it, we must stand strong and not conform, especially when the conformity will lead us to do bad or hurtful things to other people or groups of people. The need to conform is a strong one but we must stand up for what is right and what is good, even if it seems like we are the only ones doing so. And we must continue to keep standing strong even through the test of time. We all always want to fit in but fitting in isn't necessarily always a good thing. And that, in ten years, is what I will still remember.