I think, metaphorically, the most terrifying shade in the world is grey. It's inconsistent; it contains a mixture of nothing and everything which creates an undefined something. Black or White, that's easy to understand, to wrap yourself up in its blanket of knowing security. First you learn the differences: which one is supposedly superior, which one is most relatable, which one is desirable and which should be shunned. Next comes pity, comes a new understanding for the undesirables and their diseased leprosy. Thirdly comes equivalence, easily summed up here
"And I Told About Equality
And It's True
Either You're Wrong
Or You're Right"
In Michael Jackson's hit song Black or White. But still there's no grey. You only have two options and, of those two, the correct answer is both. What could make you feel better, more enlightened than that?
Still, there's still grey. For every blending between white and black, you inevitably produce indeterminate sums and shades of grey. Of something that, when shown to you, resembles little more than chaos. In the story of your life, that is little more than a pencil smudge and that shit needs to go. away. To be defeated by the eraser, to be squashed to the margins, or in worst-case scenarios, thrown away so you may start anew.
Now, when I say you, I mean me. Every step, filled with confusion and (pseudo?) enlightenment, I took and now I'm here, terrified at the uncertainty grey provides. I'm past universal truths; I'm past pride and propaganda; I'm now listening to articulate, contradictory sources and it's scary as fuck. What do I believe in when I read articles like Noam Chomsky's "Terrorism and Justice: Some Useful Terms" and documentaries like Slingshot Hip Hop, among other things, that tell me of a country, my country that has deliberately manipulated its people in order to protect its hegemonic hold. It's hard to believe in that country, it's also hard to believe in world where people, including me, have advocated for the right to freedom and, in the same breath, taken that hope away to protect myself--my pride, my economic interest, so that I can sustain a luxury-consumption lifestyle.
DAM had an effect on me. I don't listen to hip hope, I don't understand the language, yet it provided a much stronger and more real connection to me than any of my beloved B*Spears tracks. It showed me a world where the same liberties I enjoyed were not offered to the people, and were taken by our government from them. Before this, I had no connection to olive trees or the livelihood they provide for; now, it's just as real as destroying a family's farmland in front of me. Something despicably evil. Before this, I had no connection to the destruction, the brutality faced by the people. Having a brother there seemed to only make our counterterrorism more just, as if they're rebellion was such a crime that they deserved punishment for speaking out against this great country of ours. Before this, it wasn't real--it was just a bunch of pictures tied to another tired story that blended in with the countless other reports since we started.
So, where is the grey? Why not simply assimilate the Middle East into our color palette as a distinct hue deserving of its own respect and care? To me, I can't help but feel this is still a grey issue. Perhaps part of my motivation comes simply from the late hour of writing and my desire to not give up this damn metaphor. Perhaps, despite all reason, I still want to desperately cling to that decaying pillar of blind pride. Perhaps it is truly grey.
But if it is, how do we know? Do I decide? What facts do I need, how much, from what sources? Where will my pride lie and how much will remain after this? What will I do?
I don't know.
Israel-Palestinian mediators to miss 1st deadline
Here's a link to an AP news article on current talks between Israel and Palestine. Part of the conflict revolves around Israel's expanding settlements and Palestine's petition for U.N. recognition as an independent state. It seems Obama and his administration are quite adamant about joint peace talks versus separate, and Obama has vowed "to veto any U.N. Security Council resolution recommending U.N. membership for an independent Palestine." To me, it seems like joint peace talks would be preferable, but I wonder why you can't have them separately if joint has so far failed to work.