ITLP Tuesday Readings

Today's reading is about a particular form of relationships called "clicking," the phenomenon of rapidly connecting with another person, either in the work environment or in our personal lives. The article "The Importance of Connecting with Colleagues" is a discussion by Ori Brafman and Rom Brafman of their new book Click: The Magic of Instant Connections.

"Click" is the outgrowth of a research project to discover what happens when people click; and whether and how these moments shape our lives. Two big surprises came from the research:

1. Some individuals are more naturally inclined to form clicking relationships.
2. People who click are more likely to succeed in the workplace.

People who click have a trait University of Minnesota psychologist Mark Snyder calls self-monitoring. High self-monitors, he discovered, are social chameleons. They pick up on subtle cues and tailor their responses to the situation.

In a study of a particular high tech company, research found that it took an average of just 18 months for high self-monitors to infiltrate the nucleus of their workplace network. It took low self-monitors some nine times as long, 13 years!

While self-monitoring comes naturally to some, we can all train ourselves to be higher self-monitoring. The Brafman's research suggests two things that are particularly relevant: proximity and vulnerability.

Research shows that you are twice as likely to click with someone whose office is next to yours than with someone just one office further down the hall. And that likelihood keeps decreasing by half with each further office. Further, the more frequent our face-to-face interactions, the stronger our relationship and the more likely we'll click even if we don't speak.

And, the more we reveal about ourselves and our own vulnerability, the more likely we'll click. When we disclose our feelings, we send a message of trust to others making it easier for them to relate to us more openly.

So, if you've gotten this far, you may have come to realize that people who click hae a particular form or relationship. Think about how to incorporate the Brafman's research on clicking into your practice of building relationships.

Have a great week. . . . . jim

Posted by Jim Hall at 9:17 AM | Permalink

‎"You have to allow a certain amount of time in which you are doing nothing in order to have things occur to you, to let your mind think." ~ Mortimer Adler

Do you feel overwhelmed? Write down what is on your plate.

Do you schedule time on your calendar to reflect and plan? Write your top 3-5 priorities.

Do you schedule time to rest and rejuvinate?

Stop - Think - Plan: The time you take to do this up front will save you time, energy and money in the long run.

Posted by Jim Hall at 3:34 PM | Permalink

Today's reading "If You Mess Up, Fess Up!" comes to us from Fast Company's Expert Blog. It's author is Paul Glover, who founded the Glover Group, a management consulting firm focusing on improving workplace performance, after a long career as a labor/employment law attorney.

Glover's bottom line is very straight forward: "Everyone makes mistakes. It is how we deal with those mistakes that matters. Like the ability to delegate, admitting when we've made a mistake is a trademark of a good leadership skill set."

Not convinced? Here are the first four of his five reasons:

1. It's just plain wrong to not fess up when you mess up. Further, if you don't, it damages your integrity and any sense that you are an ethical person.

2. Everyone knows you messed up. And, "they" will share that information along with the fact that you didn't fess up.

3. You are sending a message that erodes respect and trust.

4. It's the cover up that will eventually catch up with you.

And, his fifth reason which I don't think applies in the university IT business: In some areas, there is an economic value in fessing up. For example, when medical doctors directly admit to doing harm, malpractice claims and costs drop by more than 50%.

So, as the Scottish Proverb states: "Confession is good for the sourl"

. . . . jim

Posted by Jim Hall at 9:54 AM | Permalink

"A real decision is measured by the fact that you've taken a new action. If there's no action, you haven't truly decided." ~ Tony Robbins

• What have you talked about for over 3 months?

• Why is it an issue for you?

• What have you tried to do about it?

• What action will you take in the next week?

Posted by Jim Hall at 1:11 PM | Permalink

The Leaders Program workshops have introduced all of you to the 4 I's at one time or another. Today's reading introduces you to the four A's, strategies from the Mayo Clinic staff - "Need Stress Relief? Try the Four A's" - for coping with stress:

• avoid
• alter
• accept
• adapt

Since the early August incident between a JetBlue flight attendant and a passenger seeking to remove her luggage from the overhead luggage bin, we've heard about and seen an increasing number of news stories, YouTube videos, etc. that show how stress is appearing all around us.

The Mayo Clinic staff point out that many feel the effects of stress weighing us down and note that too much stress makes life a difficult journey. They suggest using one of the four A's - Avoid, Alter, Accept, or Adapt - to reduce the stressors and/or to increase your ability to cope.

Change the level of your stressors:

AVOID - some stress can be avoided

• take control of your "soirroundings"
• avoid those who bother you
• learn to say no
• ditch the low priority tasks

ALTER - work to change your situation for the better

• respectfully ask others to change their behavior
• communicate your feelings openly
• manage your calendar better
• state limits in advance

Increase your ability to cope:

ACCEPT - sometimes you don't have a choice

• talk with someone; you'll feel better after a conversation about the situation
• forgive; being angry consumes enormous energy
• practice positive "self talk"
• learn from your mistakes

ADAPT - adjust your standards; redefine success

• stop gloomy thoughts immediately
• adopt a mantra; e.g., "I can handle this"
• look at the big picture

Stressors, both good and bad, are a part of life. Make using the 4 A's part of the tools you use in your leadership practice.

Have a great week. . . . jim

Posted by Jim Hall at 4:52 PM | Permalink

This week's "Quote of the Week" discusses vision:

"Most important, leaders can conceive and articulate goals that lift people out of their petty preoccupations and unite them in pursuit of objectives worthy of their best efforts." -John Gardner

Conceive:

• What is the vision of the University? IT?

• What is your vision?

Articulate:

• How can you express your vision in a way that others see the big picture?

• What are ways to inspire and motivate people to work towards the vision?

Posted by Jim Hall at 11:43 AM | Permalink